Tip for dudes-Always flirt even if she's taken

[singlelife]

I flirt all the time. But the truth is most girls aren't going for it. But the good news is some will. I have been flirting with a nice girl for a few months and she just now broke up with he bf of a year. She didn't do it for me but she liked how I approached her in the past. Now we are going out this weekend. The point is, you have to give women a reason to want to get to know you. Flirting does that and then when there's an opportunity she will remember that. This doesn't mean be overbearing, but to be there for a woman and she will appreciate it.

[Jynxx]

lol.

 

Nothing wrong with hitting on a girl who's taken, but huge lol if you think it will lead to a stable long time relationship.

[singlelife]

That's not the goal. Just to have fun. Point is a lot of guys don't flirt with all women and wind up missing out.

[Jynxx]

That's not the goal. Just to have fun.

 

Fair enough. Just a quick hint: wining and dining is not necessary then, and neither is setting up a "date" a couple days in advance. You'll only make her feel bad about herself/get cold feet/get scared about getting found out.

[HughHardcastle]

I always have trouble distinguishing between what is flirting, and just being nice. There's a woman I work with, mid 30's, has a boyfriend, but I playfully "flirt" (I guess) with her all the time, and she seems pretty receptive to it. However, it's just the way I talk to people in general, I am not making a conscious effort to flirt with her.

[singlelife]

I always have trouble distinguishing between what is flirting, and just being nice. There's a woman I work with, mid 30's, has a boyfriend, but I playfully "flirt" (I guess) with her all the time, and she seems pretty receptive to it. However, it's just the way I talk to people in general, I am not making a conscious effort to flirt with her.

 

That's they key.

[Oxy Moronovich]

I flirt all the time. But the truth is most girls aren't going for it. But the good news is some will. I have been flirting with a nice girl for a few months and she just now broke up with he bf of a year. She didn't do it for me but she liked how I approached her in the past. Now we are going out this weekend. The point is, you have to give women a reason to want to get to know you. Flirting does that and then when there's an opportunity she will remember that. This doesn't mean be overbearing, but to be there for a woman and she will appreciate it.

Why did you flirt with her for months if she didn't do it for you? Why are you going out with her?

 

In any case, I agree with your premise. It's good advice.

[DeadHead]

Eh.. Hitting on woman who are already taken? I find that rude and kind of disrespectful to the guy that she's dating/married too. Plus it could all go wrong, what if they guy find out and he's a jealous type, who happens to be much bigger then you?

 

No if she flirts first, that changes it. But still..

[carhill]

Absent knowing a lady's BF or H, how would one know if she's 'taken'? I've experienced a goodly number of women who lie both ways, hence the question.

 

IME, the best flirts are the married ones. They are the only women I've met who have proactively flirted with me. It is a safe place for them.

 

When I find myself engaged in an enjoyable dynamic with an otherwise unknown lady, I enjoy, later, glancing at her ring finger and smiling at the lovely rock residing there. Ah, so sweet is that which is the familiar, so rarely am I surprised.

 

The premise in the OP has merit, in that one is or becomes at ease with flirting with women, and the ring is a polite and unspoken rejection (if one is healthy). Great experience, IMO.

[singlelife]

It happened again. Another girl I am cool with b ut flirt with all the time on a respectful low key scale who has a bf flirted back with me finally after about 4 months of flirting she had my cell already and texted me a couple weeks ago then we talked for 2 hrs today before her man got home. We talked about sex, life, family, etc. It was entertaining and light, and we are setting up time to hang out in the future as her man doesn't like to do anything fun. Well what happens is the fun part about looking forward to the future. The point is I kept it light and playful and she remembered that and is now open for a little more. You have to give women something to look forward to that there man maybe doesn't give them.

[Dust]

It happened again. Another girl I am cool with b ut flirt with all the time on a respectful low key scale who has a bf flirted back with me finally after about 4 months of flirting she had my cell already and texted me a couple weeks ago then we talked for 2 hrs today before her man got home. We talked about sex, life, family, etc. It was entertaining and light, and we are setting up time to hang out in the future as her man doesn't like to do anything fun. Well what happens is the fun part about looking forward to the future. The point is I kept it light and playful and she remembered that and is now open for a little more. You have to give women something to look forward to that there man maybe doesn't give them.

 

Good job for flirting with a woman who I can only guess lives with another man she is romanticly involved in. Personaly I joke and pal around with every one incuding guys. I'm very friendly. I'd feel awkward setting up hang out time with a girl who lives with another guy. Although I once dated a girl who after we got seriouse I found out that she had been living with her bf when she met me and kick him out to move onto me... yes some people... girls especialy move right from one relationship to the next... a kind of cheaterous way to end a relationship.

[runner]

I flirt all the time. But the truth is most girls aren't going for it. But the good news is some will. I have been flirting with a nice girl for a few months and she just now broke up with he bf of a year. She didn't do it for me but she liked how I approached her in the past. Now we are going out this weekend. The point is, you have to give women a reason to want to get to know you. Flirting does that and then when there's an opportunity she will remember that. This doesn't mean be overbearing, but to be there for a woman and she will appreciate it.

 

absolutly. and if we're gonna split hairs on the term 'flirting' as some might want to do, how about we just not use the word altogether (for the sake of argument)...and generally consider it as simply presenting oneself as a great-fun-awesome guy that any girl would want to take home ?

 

as long as anyone involved isn't disrespecting an existing relationship (ie, asking a married woman for a date, for example), then what's the problem ?

[singlelife]

absolutly. and if we're gonna split hairs on the term 'flirting' as some might want to do, how about we just not use the word altogether (for the sake of argument)...and generally consider it as simply presenting oneself as a great-fun-awesome guy that any girl would want to take home ?

 

as long as anyone involved isn't disrespecting an existing relationship (ie, asking a married woman for a date, for example), then what's the problem ?

 

Makes sense to me. That's exactly what I was thinking.

[Star Gazer]

What it is, see, is these girls enjoy the attention you're giving them, despite knowing they are committed to someone else. So when they break up with their BF and need a dose of attention to make themselves feel good, they know EXACTLY who to use to boost their ego: YOU. And they know you'll be there. Why? Because you were there, chomping at the bit, even when you had no chance (when they were taken). That's why they're contacting you, of all people, as soon as their relationship ends. You're easy, and a placeholder until someone they actually like comes along... even less than a rebound. If that's what you're looking for, by all means. But if I were you, I'd have a little more self respect.

[martyjones47]

It happened again. Another girl I am cool with b ut flirt with all the time on a respectful low key scale who has a bf flirted back with me finally after about 4 months of flirting she had my cell already and texted me a couple weeks ago then we talked for 2 hrs today before her man got home. We talked about sex, life, family, etc. It was entertaining and light, and we are setting up time to hang out in the future as her man doesn't like to do anything fun. Well what happens is the fun part about looking forward to the future. The point is I kept it light and playful and she remembered that and is now open for a little more. You have to give women something to look forward to that there man maybe doesn't give them.

 

So now you are her affair partner. Nice.

[singlelife]

So now you are her affair partner. Nice.

 

 

Makes sense to me. That's exactly what I thought.

[singlelife]

What it is, see, is these girls enjoy the attention you're giving them, despite knowing they are committed to someone else. So when they break up with their BF and need a dose of attention to make themselves feel good, they know EXACTLY who to use to boost their ego: YOU. And they know you'll be there. Why? Because you were there, chomping at the bit, even when you had no chance (when they were taken). That's why they're contacting you, of all people, as soon as their relationship ends. You're easy, and a placeholder until someone they actually like comes along... even less than a rebound. If that's what you're looking for, by all means. But if I were you, I'd have a little more self respect.

 

You sound like a party pooper.

[Anela]

You sound like a party pooper.

 

That's because she makes sense, although she seems to be trying to spare you some heartache down the line. (?)

[singlelife]

That's because she makes sense, although she seems to be trying to spare you some heartache down the line. (?)

 

I'm not in love just havin fun. Which I recommend to others. SOme people are takin glife too serious. This thread is a how to have fun thread.

[A O]

This thread is a how to have fun thread.

No it isn't. It's the musings of a desperate man. Flirting is the poor cousin to a straight up asking for a date type approach and flirting with someone taken is simply idiotic when there's a world of single women out there. Best you'll get here are the crumbs, best you'll be is the back-up boy.

 

You want a woman then just go for it. No roundabout flirting, no being there, no waiting forever and a day. That's all garbage.

 

.

[singlelife]

No it isn't. It's the musings of a desperate man. Flirting is the poor cousin to a straight up asking for a date type approach and flirting with someone taken is simply idiotic when there's a world of single women out there. Best you'll get here are the crumbs, best you'll be is the back-up boy.

 

You want a woman then just go for it. No roundabout flirting, no being there, no waiting forever and a day. That's all garbage.

 

.

 

Wow, you're really assuming I'm only flirting with one woman. Also that I am waiting around for a gf. It's called having fun and planting seeds where most don't like some of the posters on here.

[A O]

You don't need to plant seeds when the fruit is already there for the picking. You're not having fun either cos happy-go-lucky folk have little need to advertise the fact. Stop kidding yourself and stop with the low odds dating antics. You want someone then make it known. Quit with this roundabout, surface-level, vague, flirting 'hope for the best' nonsense.

 

.

[kaylan]

Good job for flirting with a woman who I can only guess lives with another man she is romanticly involved in. Personaly I joke and pal around with every one incuding guys. I'm very friendly. I'd feel awkward setting up hang out time with a girl who lives with another guy. Although I once dated a girl who after we got seriouse I found out that she had been living with her bf when she met me and kick him out to move onto me... yes some people... girls especialy move right from one relationship to the next... a kind of cheaterous way to end a relationship.

Dust made me lol with that.

 

What it is, see, is these girls enjoy the attention you're giving them, despite knowing they are committed to someone else. So when they break up with their BF and need a dose of attention to make themselves feel good, they know EXACTLY who to use to boost their ego: YOU. And they know you'll be there. Why? Because you were there, chomping at the bit, even when you had no chance (when they were taken). That's why they're contacting you, of all people, as soon as their relationship ends. You're easy, and a placeholder until someone they actually like comes along... even less than a rebound. If that's what you're looking for, by all means. But if I were you, I'd have a little more self respect.

^This lol.

[johan]

If you're talking about striking up conversations with random women you never expect to see again, that's one thing. If it's someone you see regularly, you'd better think twice.

 

I might try to flirt with a woman who is taken, but it's mostly just an occasional attempt to kid around, and it's with the expectation that she respects her current relationship and won't let someone interfere with that. I think twice about it if she flirts back. I'll back off completely.

 

I've done the opposite in the past, and that led to crossing some serious lines with a married woman. I'll never do that again. I've also seen what kind of things many flirty people end up doing during their relationships. So I tend to lose respect for taken women who readily flirt with others.

 

The fact is you don't really know how someone is interpreting it, and you need to be careful about that. You're offering to cross a line with them, and by flirting back they are offering to cross it with you. An innocent flirt one day becomes a little more intense each following day, and expectations build. When it comes to things like this, never say never about what you'll eventually do.

 

Maybe I'm one of the "too serious" people, but I've been down this road. Flirting has led to trouble for me enough times that I'm pretty careful about it.

[fortyninethousand322]

Unless she's married there are really no boundaries when it comes to flirting. I say flirt, even ask out a girl whether she's "in a relationship" (what a ridiculous term) or not. No ring = good to go. Her "boyfriend" might not like it, but oh well. I'm not being paid to make sure his girlfriend stays faithful.