Stilnaught Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Hey, i've been single for 2 months now. I'm still in love with her, even though it got battered down a bit. But now i've been wondering why i actually still love her, after everything that happened. I get softer everytime i think about the good times, i get angry & 'happy single' if i remember her bad sides, which won't disappear. The usual psychologic things, if i may believe so. But there's this other thingy. I'm feeling very lonely. I have a lot of friends (or better, a lot of people i know too well to be "just somebody", but none of them got close enough to be a good friend, to get past my guard), i often see them & party. I've been at university for a few years, quite active in the student unions, and so i got to know all the (socially active) newcomers year after year. However, even though i'm only early 20s, i feel like my ex is the only one that's living on my level. I thought i'd never find someone with her mix of moral values, humor, ... Even stupid things like how we would name our children, politics, what pet we want, ... It wasn't like looking in a mirror, but very similar opinions at any rate. So now, i'm hunting her. Not very actively yet, but if i don't get my mind set, i think it will. And i do wonder how much this has to do with it: is it really unreasonable to think, that you'll never find someone else like her, if you haven't seen anyone close to her for several years, even though you got to know a ton of girls rather well? Link to post Share on other sites
colliejoanie Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 I'm going to take a stab and try not to sound like the "know it all old lady". I just recently posted about my first true love......20 years ago. We were together for 3 years, and I hate admitting it took 4 to really get over him. I thought I'd never find anyone better, and I just allowed myself to casually date. Then, magically, guy #2 came. And Guy #1 was all but forgotten. And so on and so forth . Point being that each person is different, and if you are smart, which it sounds like you are, you'll learn something from each wonderful relationship you have. I know its horrible right now.....I remember walking around in a love sick haze, looking at people going about their business and KNOWING that I was the only one to have felt love.....and to have lost it. No one knew him like me, and visa versa. How could these people act like they know me......only he does! I look back, and the feeling I get is that I was walking around with this heart breaking secret that only I knew..... Again, it took me a while...... Honestly though.....time does wonders. 20 years later, I realize he's still that same guy I dated and loved back then......but I'm not. I learned from him.....and the other amazing long term relationships I've had since him. Good luck. Try to have some fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Pizzaman81 Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Don't worry man. I am going through almost the same thing. I broke up about 5 months ago. But over time it gets better. Everytime I feel like this is the end of the line, life proves to me otherwise. I've had 4 relationships in the past which were about 2 years each. Just when you think there's no chance left, you find someone! Best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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