jobaba Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 I just had a curious question on my mind. I know there's a lot of guys here who complain about how it's hard for them and GUYS LIKE THEM to get women, and I'm one of them. So, procreation smiled on you somehow. How did your pop get mommy? It stands to reason there is a good chance that you are pretty close in the attractiveness department to pop (though not always true) and maybe personality too, so he is pretty similar. So, how did he pull it off, and why is not the same route possible for you? I'll post mine once I get some (any) responses.
unknownsources Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Because you're not the same person as either of your parents. At least, I know I'm not. Personality is very different, although of course similar in some ways. I think a lot of the trouble with women stems less from physical features and more from confidence and social skills. My two cents...
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 My mother pursued my father. My father never was very good with women (maybe 1 or 2 girlfriends by age 30) and wasn't all that interested in my mother. But, she got pregnant and they got married. That's the story of where I came from. Ironically, none of my father's friends (and even my uncle) have any kids. Most married late, some not at all.
tman666 Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 That's an interesting point that I've never really though of before. My dad and his brothers (my uncles) are/were very good at chatting up women (not in a scummy way, but in a way that most women seem to respond well to). Thinking about it now, the way I interact with most women (especially if I'm interested) draws heavily on their antics. However, that's not to say that I haven't had "find my own feet". Like someone mentioned before, we're our own individuals with unique experiences and personality traits. I do think that you're onto something by looking at your parents, however.
Author jobaba Posted November 4, 2011 Author Posted November 4, 2011 When I look at my father, I wonder how he ever got my mother at all. My mom is a very liked woman and not fat or very ugly (as far as I can tell). Very friendly and social. He is passive, nice, and dorky and geeky to extremes. I'm real short and he's even shorter. Granted, they grew up in a different country, but the younger generation from that country doesn't go for types like him in the least bit. In this day and age, with his game, I can't see him doing well at all. Makes you think about how much different societies and generations shape the standards for a desirable male.
january2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 Times have changed. Seconded. Culture and technology ain't what they used to be. Having said that, it's a starting point. And you might as well start somewhere.
MaxNoob Posted November 4, 2011 Posted November 4, 2011 I have to think not just of my parents, but every one of my ancestors for the last 4 billion years managed to have kids. 360 million years ago, my ancient ancestor was an amphibian that put on some sweet moves on a guy, then laid a hard shelled egg on land so it would be safe from the predators in the ocean. It was the first hard shell that would not evaporate in the sun. That was smart.
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 Times have changed. Pretty much says it all, doesn't it? My dad was a drunk who knocked up my mom when they were both in their 20s. Two years after my oldest bro was born, my Dad decided to become a minister. After getting married and baptising my bro, he worked his way up. First, he got a job, then went to college. After he spent years to get his masters degree in theology, he finally started his own church. Times were rough and money was scarce. In a family of six, we lived in an apartment throughout our entire lives. Mom and Pop finally were able to afford a house the year after, I, the youngest graduated from high school. It's damn near impossible to find a woman who will stick by her man through tough times the way my mom did with my father. Knowing her, I'm positive the thought of divorce never became a serious consideration.
somedude81 Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 (edited) I'm four inches shorter than my dad. He's also naturally athletic. Not really meaning to get all Oedipus, but my the type of woman my mom is, would never date me. Petite, long blonde hair, blue eyes and pretty back in her day. Edited December 1, 2011 by somedude81
somedude81 Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 You know, my father believes I have inherited his innate athleticism even though I have let myself go and not always been active. I do want to prove him right soon, I need to improve my diet and exercise definitely. I think you can be athletic if you have the right knowledge at your disposal. I'm no sports scientist but I do like to study, and I will find ways of improving my exercise regime and performance, I'm sure you can do it too. I'm already 30 so that time has come and gone. There weren't that many sports I could play and compete at with my height, 5'6. I did track in High School, which showed me that I wasn't as fast as I thought I was. As for my history with women, you are obviously new here.
carhill Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 OP, physically, I was larger and taller than 'pop' when I was eleven years old. By the time I graduated high school, I had five inches and 100 lbs on him and played football during most of that time and a bit of basketball (on the school teams). About the only marked differences between us otherwise was I never took up smoking (he smoked his entire life) and he died with a full head of hair (I'm now mostly bald). If anything, I've always been more outgoing than he was and have a wider circle of friends. I boil any 'deficiency' down to two criteria: The first, and foremost, was improper information during socialization about the realities of women. Neither parent clued me in on the dark side of women. All I saw was a good marriage and a great example of a female role model. I lacked balance. Had my dad chose to share with me the realities of his first marriage, I think my life would have changed markedly. Second, the fundamentals of romantic interaction I was taught and saw modeled were incorrect and antiquated for my generation. Drugs and free love were in vogue and I was going to private religious school and lived in a house where there wasn't even alcohol. Poor preparation for the realities of my generation, where women rightly saw me as some kind of oddball. The positive side of that is I'm happy for the path pop (and mom) started me on and the examples they set. It's a good reminder to have in the back of my mind when I do stray or consider it. Echoes of duty and honor. That women of my age might not appreciate it or find it attractive is OK. I'm good with that now.
carhill Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 Surprisingly, she wasn't one of those mums that always told me to be nice to girls, in fact sometimes she used to say things like "be careful, some of these bitches are deceitful" Great example of something I *never* heard, ever, reinforced by the interactions I witnessed between my parents daily. There was no 'drama'. I wouldn't be exposed to drama, spousal abuse and other 'negatives' until I was well into my teens and encountering it in other people's homes. Still, that imprint from primary family was strong. To trusting and too much 'benefit of the doubt' and too much 'turn the other cheek'. In a vacuum, good attributes but poor preparation for the realities of life in my generation or in general, IMO. Starting a business at a young age taught me a lot about the realities of people. Great learning vehicle.
Author jobaba Posted December 1, 2011 Author Posted December 1, 2011 My parents' advice on women has mostly been non-existent. They've given me tidbits throughout the years, but apparently, they didn't do much or any dating. Like I said before, different country, different time. And they're both shy, quiet people. For most of my dating advice, I have run to my older sister, and she's been of moderate help. But definitely a good person to vent to. To wit, my pop's dating 'advice'... When I was 20 and had it REALLY bad for a girl who friendzoned me: "Why are you going for a girl your same age? You should be marrying a woman at least 6 years younger." In my mid 20s when I was JUST friendzoned by another girl: "Just be friends with her. It's all about being friends." On how to GET women: "Women like men who are safe, good drivers."
Woggle Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 My mother tells me to let women abuse me to atone for the sins of the patriarchy. My best friend's mom on the other hand who was sort of like a mom to me told me after my divorce to just hump em and dump em. Not saying I agreed with it but she certainly does not try to sugarcoat her dating advice.
AHardDaysNight Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 I don't know much about my father, but I do know he didn't have social anxiety, or shyness around women.
Author jobaba Posted December 1, 2011 Author Posted December 1, 2011 (edited) I'm already 30 so that time has come and gone. There weren't that many sports I could play and compete at with my height, 5'6. I did track in High School, which showed me that I wasn't as fast as I thought I was. As for my history with women, you are obviously new here. Lionel Messi is 5'6"... One of Messi's former girlfriends.... http://www.google.com/imgres?um=1&hl=en&client=firefox-a&sa=N&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1600&bih=781&tbm=isch&tbnid=6yRUKYtJPHAJNM:&imgrefurl=http://www.infragantimagazine.com/2010/04/luciana-salazar-la-ex-de-luis-miguel.html&docid=Tb6JT011tpc-EM&imgurl=http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fClJq1lRTn8/S9Xuby8tv0I/AAAAAAAAK1A/JA-EFZ1RFi0/s1600/LUCIANA%252BSALAZAR.jpg&w=450&h=376&ei=McPXTpSaBaXm0QHWz73ADQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=453&vpy=346&dur=1828&hovh=205&hovw=246&tx=133&ty=112&sig=106747106848394077863&page=3&tbnh=127&tbnw=150&start=82&ndsp=39&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:82 Edited December 1, 2011 by jobaba
somedude81 Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 Lionel Messi is 5'6"... One of Messi's former girlfriends.... http://www.google.com/imgres?um=1&hl=en&client=firefox-a&sa=N&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1600&bih=781&tbm=isch&tbnid=6yRUKYtJPHAJNM:&imgrefurl=http://www.infragantimagazine.com/2010/04/luciana-salazar-la-ex-de-luis-miguel.html&docid=Tb6JT011tpc-EM&imgurl=http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fClJq1lRTn8/S9Xuby8tv0I/AAAAAAAAK1A/JA-EFZ1RFi0/s1600/LUCIANA%252BSALAZAR.jpg&w=450&h=376&ei=McPXTpSaBaXm0QHWz73ADQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=453&vpy=346&dur=1828&hovh=205&hovw=246&tx=133&ty=112&sig=106747106848394077863&page=3&tbnh=127&tbnw=150&start=82&ndsp=39&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:82 ROFL! Did she have two soccer balls implanted in her chest? BTW, so and so celebrity is X height and gets lots of women is a terrible argument. They get the women, because they are famous.
Author jobaba Posted December 1, 2011 Author Posted December 1, 2011 ROFL! Did she have two soccer balls implanted in her chest? BTW, so and so celebrity is X height and gets lots of women is a terrible argument. They get the women, because they are famous. It wasn't an argument for short guys getting women so much as short guys being able to be good at sports. Growing up in America, most of the mainstream sports (baseball, football, and basketball) require size and strength. Soccer is more about stamina, speed, skill, and coordination. So average size guys and even short guys can excel. The 2nd best player of all time was 5'5" !
somedude81 Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 It wasn't an argument for short guys getting women so much as short guys being able to be good at sports. Growing up in America, most of the mainstream sports (baseball, football, and basketball) require size and strength. Soccer is more about stamina, speed, skill, and coordination. So average size guys and even short guys can excel. The 2nd best player of all time was 5'5" ! Yup, I grew up in the US and I was too small for all the mainstream sports. I never got into soccer. It just wasn't my thing and most of the people playing over here are Mexican
verhrzn Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 What about martial arts? It's never too late to learn anything IMO. Martial arts is actually fantastic for people who are "slight." Martial arts depends a lot on physics... so, if you want to throw someone, the key is having your center of balance lower than the other person's. If you're short, you're already halfway there! If you're doing locks to a person (arm bars, leg locks), the longer their arms are, the easier it is to get the angles and leverage you need. Big muscles rarely win out against skilled martial artists. Speed and accuracy really are key... it isn't how HARD you hit an opponent, but WHERE that causes maximum damage. Being short is also a great advantage against other martial artists... when people try to put me into locks I'm able to slip out because I'm so compact. Being petite (5'1") everything is closer to my center, smaller, and thus easier to keep control of. In other words... martial arts is awesome. :-D
cerridwen Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 To wit, my pop's dating 'advice'... When I was 20 and had it REALLY bad for a girl who friendzoned me: "Why are you going for a girl your same age? You should be marrying a woman at least 6 years younger." In my mid 20s when I was JUST friendzoned by another girl: "Just be friends with her. It's all about being friends." On how to GET women: "Women like men who are safe, good drivers." :lmao: I love your dad! It's true we do like good, safe drivers.
somedude81 Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 :lmao: I love your dad! It's true we do like good, safe drivers. Then you'd hate my dad. And then me, who drives like him
cerridwen Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 Then you'd hate my dad. And then me, who drives like him Let me guess: Occasional road rage? Endless running commentary about the incompetency of other drivers, even when driving alone? Wait. That's me.
Wolf18 Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 I'm already 30 so that time has come and gone. There weren't that many sports I could play and compete at with my height, 5'6. I did track in High School, which showed me that I wasn't as fast as I thought I was. As for my history with women, you are obviously new here. You can play most sports at your height, even basketball. Whether you want to play them is another story. I agree that a guy who would otherwise be an 8, will drop him down to a 4-5 (if he's lucky) in the eyes of women if he's below 5'10, but centering everything you can't or don't want to do in life around your height is silly and gets into short mans syndrome territory. Me personally, my dad has always been good with women, but he's pretty wealthy, 3 inches taller, and better looking than I am. Not to mention like others have mentioned, times have changed considerably. Many years ago women had a more realistic criteria for men and people were not constantly bombarded by media. It just seems like in those days, there was somebody for everyone, now women all want the same type of male. I doubt any of our dads have ever had a 6 pack with massive steroid-trapezius', for example.
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