joystickd Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I am 29 only had one girlfriend. Most of my encounters with women consist of married women and women with boyfriends. People joke with me and say i am a natural born homewrecker. Its frustrating because i want to meet a single woman but its harder for me than meeting a woman that is not single. I meet one go out on a date days after date they dont talk to me anymore. I think its because i'm so glad to meet someone single i come off as desperate. I just need to figure out how not to do that anymore.
Pierre Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 I am 29 only had one girlfriend. Most of my encounters with women consist of married women and women with boyfriends. People joke with me and say i am a natural born homewrecker. Its frustrating because i want to meet a single woman but its harder for me than meeting a woman that is not single. I meet one go out on a date days after date they dont talk to me anymore. I think its because i'm so glad to meet someone single i come off as desperate. I just need to figure out how not to do that anymore. Married women often have lower expectations than single women. A secret encounter for a few minutes can be precious to for a married woman whereas this is mundane for single women because they have much more to choose from.
mrgoodcat Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 lol @ "homewrecker". I like that. It's next to impossible to break up a happy marriage. Only the failing ones.
Author joystickd Posted September 22, 2012 Author Posted September 22, 2012 I'm still figuring this situation out. Its still easy as hell for me to get a married woman or one with a boyfriend than it is a single woman. I've spent so much time attempting to figure out what is it about me that makes women in relationships gravitate towards me and ones that are single give me a tough time.
Quiet Storm Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 Oh joystickd, I enjoy your posts, but I really wish you weren't a homewrecker. Maybe you are afraid of women having expectations of you? Maybe you want the goodies, and the benefits of being with a woman, but not the responsibility? With a married woman, there is always a buffer. You don't have to get emotionally invested. And really, would you really want a cheater anyways? If she'll cheat with you, she'll cheat on you. You need to find women with better characters. Stop looking for the easy, instant gratification, and look for quality women with more substance. They may be more of a challenge, but they'll enrich your life instead of simply making it a more interesting existence. 1
Author joystickd Posted September 22, 2012 Author Posted September 22, 2012 Oh joystickd, I enjoy your posts, but I really wish you weren't a homewrecker. Maybe you are afraid of women having expectations of you? Maybe you want the goodies, and the benefits of being with a woman, but not the responsibility? With a married woman, there is always a buffer. You don't have to get emotionally invested. And really, would you really want a cheater anyways? If she'll cheat with you, she'll cheat on you. You need to find women with better characters. Stop looking for the easy, instant gratification, and look for quality women with more substance. They may be more of a challenge, but they'll enrich your life instead of simply making it a more interesting existence. I really do try to get out here and meet single women but I keep getting approached by women that are taken. It's weird. The only reason I have kept doing it is because dating is very hard in a small town. I will say the ones in big cities that complain don't know how easy they got it. It has helped me understand the attraction thing somewhat but I just take it as me being so excited about finally meeting someone single that sometimes it comes off as needy.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 I think you probably feel off balance about the idea of getting into a relationship. When you meet a single woman, that might be a possibility. I bet you don't come off as needy, but probably you are not comfortable and it shows. The unavailable ones are much simpler for you. I can tell you are a very smart man who would have a lot to offer, if you want to. I hope you keep trying. You'll probably break through to a new comfort zone soon.
Author joystickd Posted September 22, 2012 Author Posted September 22, 2012 I will agree I do have some reservations about getting in a relationship. The main one is I started late in this whole dating thing. I was about 24. I'm 30 now there is this feeling of a need to make up for lost time. Like right now I have been having sex with someone since January. She had a boyfriend at the time I met her. She wants more and I have clearly stated that I don't want a relationship with her. I want a relationship with someone one day but she is not a possibility.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 ^^^ Why is she not a possibility? Is it because you know she has the capacity to be unfaithful, or for other reasons? I think that if you are ready to try to meet someone and move in the direction of having a relationship with them, first you'll need to free yourself up. Don't be concerned about your age. You're not alone in being a late starter, as you surely know from being around here.
Author joystickd Posted September 22, 2012 Author Posted September 22, 2012 ^^^ Why is she not a possibility? Is it because you know she has the capacity to be unfaithful, or for other reasons? I think that if you are ready to try to meet someone and move in the direction of having a relationship with them, first you'll need to free yourself up. Don't be concerned about your age. You're not alone in being a late starter, as you surely know from being around here. Yeah the whole cheating thing and that she has a kid already. I like kids but I am not into the whole baby mom/daddy drama.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 Well, my advice is to cut that situation off and move in the direction of what you really want. Which, I believe, is a multi dimensional relationship with a woman you respect and admire. I mean, you don't have to get married or anything but you would probably be cheating yourself if you don't ever experience that in your lifetime. How small of a town do you live in? Are you near to a bigger city?
todreaminblue Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 I'm still figuring this situation out. Its still easy as hell for me to get a married woman or one with a boyfriend than it is a single woman. I've spent so much time attempting to figure out what is it about me that makes women in relationships gravitate towards me and ones that are single give me a tough time. I dont know I have a friend a male who has that problem.I have told him to stop going for the challenges and date a single woman he always ends up heart broken and it is self induced........ I think i know why if you are having these relationships with the ones who gravitate towards you because you feel you cant get a single woman you are purely wasting time and also promoting the fact that you aren't going to have a single woman while you don't specify that is what you want from the get go> it is better for you just to go out with no expectations of meeting someone single or other wise extract yourself from the gravitational pull of the unavailable, just put yourself out there to find a single woman have fun, all kinds of people will be attracted when you aren't looking and just enjoying yourself you find that connection and understand it. Take some time to yourself start getting out there and meeting people in the everyday and night.Chance meetings happen not by chance....but because they are meant to happen....everything that happens is meant to happen .you having difficulty now in dating is meant to be , its not your time yet......but it will be when you dont expect it and that reason is....when it does you will appreciate it even more....good luck.....deb
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 What about that lady in Walmart with the Shake Weight?
Author joystickd Posted September 22, 2012 Author Posted September 22, 2012 Well, my advice is to cut that situation off and move in the direction of what you really want. Which, I believe, is a multi dimensional relationship with a woman you respect and admire. I mean, you don't have to get married or anything but you would probably be cheating yourself if you don't ever experience that in your lifetime. How small of a town do you live in? Are you near to a bigger city? I'm about 30 min from Fayetteville/Ft. Bragg and about an hour maybe from Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill area
Author joystickd Posted September 22, 2012 Author Posted September 22, 2012 What about that lady in Walmart with the Shake Weight? She was married.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 I'm about 30 min from Fayetteville/Ft. Bragg and about an hour maybe from Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill area Oh, you have many opportunities to meet women then. You're not stuck in the middle of nowhere ...
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 22, 2012 Posted September 22, 2012 She was married. Did you notice the ring … while she was shaking the weight?
Author joystickd Posted September 22, 2012 Author Posted September 22, 2012 Did you notice the ring … while she was shaking the weight? Yeah I saw it while she was shaking it. Seeing some woman use that thing has your mind in porn mode.
Author joystickd Posted September 22, 2012 Author Posted September 22, 2012 Oh, you have many opportunities to meet women then. You're not stuck in the middle of nowhere ... True. Its just a matter of me not liking bars and clubs anymore.
Author joystickd Posted September 22, 2012 Author Posted September 22, 2012 Oh joystickd, I enjoy your posts, but I really wish you weren't a homewrecker. Maybe you are afraid of women having expectations of you? Maybe you want the goodies, and the benefits of being with a woman, but not the responsibility? With a married woman, there is always a buffer. You don't have to get emotionally invested. And really, would you really want a cheater anyways? If she'll cheat with you, she'll cheat on you. You need to find women with better characters. Stop looking for the easy, instant gratification, and look for quality women with more substance. They may be more of a challenge, but they'll enrich your life instead of simply making it a more interesting existence. I kind of agree with the emotional investment thing. I do have a thing where the woman has to be more invested than me. I got hurt really bad when I was really emotionally invested in someone. It was hard to get over not because of the feelings I had but because of her. She tried ruining things with other women I talked to, spreading lies about me and intentionally saying one thing and the in public saying another. I would get mad and then she would take the victim role. I lost a few friendships well I thought they were friends because of her lies and manipulation. I got portrayed as this whining, crazy man when it was not true. She was even going around saying I was dented her car. That whole experience took a lot out of me. There are about 2 or 3 women on here that post that remind me so much of her. I guess that is why I go at them so hard. I tried counseling but at the time it just made me more angry. I just devoted my time to other things and eventually it doesn't really bother me anymore. I still see her around I don't speak to her because the last thing I told her was that she was dead to me.
Author joystickd Posted November 18, 2012 Author Posted November 18, 2012 I finally met someone single yay!!!! She is older but has this youthful energy that is so damn attractive. We are taking this slow which is a change from the norm for me. I honestly am super horny so it can be tough at times for me, but she is worth it. Then at the same time a coworker with a boyfriend is letting it be known that she wants me and not in a subtle way. I'm trying hard to give off the vibe that would put me in the friendzone and its not working.
carhill Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 Sounds great. Tip: When your focus or commitment is elsewhere, you're going to get more solicitations. I noticed this from the moment my exW and I became serious, long before being married and it's a common theme shared here on LS. Some are married; some are single. You get an opportunity to learn the skills women have learned, dealing with all the men who proposition them, irrespective of their relationship status. I found invitations to couple's dinners did a great job to 'poof' those MW's (or non-married equivalents). Transparency has a great way of clarifying . Instant friend-zone.
phineas Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 I am 29 only had one girlfriend. Most of my encounters with women consist of married women and women with boyfriends. People joke with me and say i am a natural born homewrecker. Its frustrating because i want to meet a single woman but its harder for me than meeting a woman that is not single. I meet one go out on a date days after date they dont talk to me anymore. I think its because i'm so glad to meet someone single i come off as desperate. I just need to figure out how not to do that anymore. IDK, the majority of women showing clear interest in wanting to sleep with me have turned out to be married or with another guy. I bail on them as soon as I suspect their with someone just because I was cheated on in my marriage & those women just turn me off & I don't think they deserve the pleasures I can give them. I also used to have a problem where I meet women out & get their number & they ignore me afterword. Turns out they were just looking for some action that night & not really interested in me. And when I do meet women out for dates their either completely not into me or like the last first date I had were so way into me it was un-nerving because their talking about all the awsome times we are going to be having together. 1
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