bluenightowl Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 I've read that men generally fall in love before women (3-4 dates) and women (6-10 dates) and that men often get fixated on a women very early whereas a women will take her time to shop around a bit... perhaps much the way men and women shop for clothes (being very stereotypical here) That said, does sex make a difference? The common story you here is men and women have sex.. and the women then falls in love before the man because of the release of oxytonin.. etc. Personally I once dated a women whom I had sex with very early, and it ended just as fast. Much later we became friends, we never had sex, but became very close, and suddenly she fell in love with me (but was too late for a relationship). Go figure, although I have to admit.. in the second round I had a GF, and of course was not anxious in the least.. so perhaps that increased the attraction. So the question is really... as a women do find men you have early sex with (3-5 dates) you fall for... or is it more after spending lots of time together (6-10 dates or more), build the trust, get to know one another. Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 I felt it before he and I went all the way...I felt "glowy" (that is a word that I would use to describe it) following an act of kindness on his part, that made me feel very connected to him. It wasn't anything over the top that he did or said, but it was his response to something that I hadn't experienced in the relationship I was in years before him. Link to post Share on other sites
vsmini Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 For me it takes longer. 6-10 dates and usually more. I've never had that "spark" or one to go on and on about "chemistry" often I don't really want to go on the 2nd or 3rd date but want to give the guy a shot if he's respectful, nice and somewhat interesting. Once I get to know someone better I can decide if I want more dates and usually if I'm on date 6 with a guy....I'm looking for something serious. Falling in love usually takes a couple months for me. I'm one of those obnoxiously cautious girls. Not very romantic but it's helped me avoid a lot of unwise situations. Link to post Share on other sites
Cee Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 When I was in my 20s, I could be crazy about a guy after only a few dates. I even had a "love at first sight" experience. Looking back, I only liked his look mostly and it wasn't until we became a couple did I really learn to love him. But the initial infatuation was incredibly intense. I experienced the feeling of being "love sick." It was an unpleasant experience. Now, I am more cautious and realize that intimacy takes time to develop. With my current boyfriend, I knew I liked him a lot after we had sex for the first time on the 4th date. But I wouldn't allow myself to completely give in to the feeling until after a couple of months. Link to post Share on other sites
Mutant Debutante Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 When I met my boyfriend I felt the ZINGS right from the start, I was glowing after he first asked me out. But I wouldn't call that love. We were infatuated with each other, and that felt awesome. I'd say now it's turning into love, after we've been dating seriously for way way longer than 6-10 dates. Link to post Share on other sites
sm1tten Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 I tend to get infatuated early but it takes a while to actually fall in love, irregardless of when we had sex. My last three relationships, in which I had sex within the first few dates, had mixed results - I never fell in love with the first (I was mirroring his emotional unavailability), was deeply infatuated with the second but it didn't go anywhere, and the third, I realised after we had sex that not only were we not compatible in any meaningful way, I didn't really like him that much. So my mileage has varied. Link to post Share on other sites
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