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My Boyfriend can't keep a job!!!

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Old 12th April 2011, 5:02 PM   #1
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My Boyfriend can't keep a job!!!

My bf & I have been together for 4 years, 1 1/2 yrs. in, he lost his 1st job. He found other means of bringing in money, which lasted for about a yr, until he got into trouble with the law. The last 2 yrs he's worked a total of 7 months between 4 jobs and I have been paying most of our bills. He does all of the cooking and cleaning and even helps me with my daughter (not his) but what I really need is to be able to depend on him to help pay the bills. I can cook & clean up after myself, I don't need a house wife or maid. He says he is trying to find a job but it seems the only time he actually looks is if he's referred by a friend and it's almost a sure thing. He spends most of the day playing video games and cleaning. Recently the car that we share needed engine work because he forgot to change the oil, it's cost me a lot of money and I even had to borrow against my 401K to cover the repairs & keep up with all the regular bills. Occasionally his brother, mother, or father will help us out and give him a few bucks if we are in a bind. I don't nag him about getting a job because he's a grown man and I'm not his mother, I feel like he knows we have bills to pay and I shouldn't have to ask him to try harder to find work. I'm stressed out & broke, I don't know how much more of this I can take, what should I do?
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Old 12th April 2011, 5:40 PM   #2
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Sound like my dad, he is 46 and hasn't really worked since he was about 33. And even then he only worked for maybe 3 years, before that he didn't work much, odd end jobs here and there that would last a week or two.

He is a bum and its just sad. I personally couldn't put up with it. Probably because I have seen it my whole life and it would piss me off. I also could never financially support another person, I have too many bills of my own.

He is a loser. I couldn't deal with that, so more power to you. Its time to grow up
"Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded"
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Old 12th April 2011, 5:44 PM   #3
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You're right, you're not his mother, but that doesn't mean you both can't talk about this problem like two adults who both have a lot of bills and responsibilities to worry about. You have to communicate in a relationship and you need to tell him this is a problem for you. This doesn't mean nag and try to change him. It means try to work something out with him and explain to him how serious this is for you and if you can't work it out then part ways.
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