unixuser Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 For people that have used pay dating sites and free sites, I'm curious to hear what your opinions are. I've used free online dating sites for some time now and I'm not exactly having a great experience with them. I'm considering making a jump to services where you have to pay, but I want to make sure it would be worth it. Any input would be great. Link to post Share on other sites
paleblue Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 my personal opinion, there is no difference between the two. may as well save a couple bucks; you can talk to weirdo's for free instead of paying to talk to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Cee Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Most of the people I know who were successful via online dating treated it like a job. They went on date after date till they met a suitable companion. One woman said she went on 100 dates on Match before she met her fiancee. And another friend went on maybe 60 dates on Match before he met his fiancee. That seems like an awful grind, but they got what they wanted. Personally, I'd rather find my "soul mate" in a different way. I did a 6 month Match subscription and hated it after 4 and cancelled. I lost 2 months of money, but I didn't care. I simply wanted out. Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 I only really like OKC. If I were older, and more intense about it, I might use Match, but even then . . . the guys on there seemed scummy. I've met several nice men on OKC, when I was single, and it's free, so I never feel I "have" to do anything on the site to "get my money's worth" so to speak. It's had the best selection in every place I've lived, U.S. and Asia (English speaking Western men for Asia; obviously, there are probably loads more native guys on native sights). Link to post Share on other sites
Jazzari Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 I did a 3 month subscription on Match and liked it very much. I chatted and did a few phone calls, but ultimately only went on one date. We're still together. There were alot of nice guys but I just happen to be ultra picky. And yes, there were some strange ones in there too. I was on PoF for all of 10 minutes and deleted my account. I didn't like that place at all. I thought the quality of men was much, much better on Match and their search feature was superior. Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 For people that have used pay dating sites and free sites, I'm curious to hear what your opinions are. I've used free online dating sites for some time now and I'm not exactly having a great experience with them. I'm considering making a jump to services where you have to pay, but I want to make sure it would be worth it. Any input would be great. There's a kind of interesting article on this subject here: http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:9OtAvuobLwgJ:www.okcupid.com/z/yf2 The OKCupid statisticians did a little breakdown of the subject, though it only exists in cached form as it was deleted when they were recently bought by Match . Link to post Share on other sites
Author unixuser Posted February 7, 2011 Author Share Posted February 7, 2011 There's a kind of interesting article on this subject here: http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:9OtAvuobLwgJ:www.okcupid.com/z/yf2 The OKCupid statisticians did a little breakdown of the subject, though it only exists in cached form as it was deleted when they were recently bought by Match . I'm actually well aware of this article. I have a number of problems with it though, including the fact it was a piece written by a free dating site about all the advantages of free online dating. Seems like there might be some bias there. Either way, I seem to hear about more positive things from pay sites than free sites. Thanks for the input though. Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 I'm actually well aware of this article. I have a number of problems with it though, including the fact it was a piece written by a free dating site about all the advantages of free online dating. Seems like there might be some bias there. Either way, I seem to hear about more positive things from pay sites than free sites. Thanks for the input though. Yes, it's a biased article. Not surprised that they've deleted it! One thing in favour of a paid dating sites is that once you've found someone who is active and a subscriber then there's a fair chance that they're there because they actually want to go on dates and meet someone (and soon, before their subscription expires!), whereas there are people on OKCupid with active profiles for all sorts of other reasons. I'm sure there are creeps, flakes, weirdos and generally 'unattractive' people on all dating sites, so make sure you do some searches for people in your area to make sure there are some you want to try and talk to before parting with your money. Link to post Share on other sites
GivenUp0083 Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 What are you looking for Unixuser? Are you looking to find a good person to settle down with and have a long relationship with with the possibility of marriage? Are you looking for hooking up? Or just to get out there and date? You can literally find just about any of those on any dating sites (although eharmony tends to be geared toward marriage/relationships). Here's my experience: I did match.com (pay site) for a year. I started out just wanting to date and get out there. Found it hard to land as many dates as I wanted, lowered my standards and ended up having some less than desireable date experiences due to the lack of respectful and honest women I had been meeting. Then I got off the pay site and went to OKCupid (free site). I maybe browsed Plenty of Fish but I didn't like the design of it too much and reminded me of myspace. I liked the free site because for me personally I felt I could maintain a high standard to only contact women that I felt I would have a great connection with or fit the personality traits I was specifically looking for (nice, honest, trustworthy, smart). I knocked down my emails from shooting out 50 a week on match.com to only sending out maybe 5 to 10 every couple weeks, only to girls I felt I would be a good match with and fit the traits I was looking for. I also felt I could do it on my own schedule and didn't force myself to go on dates after a bad experience just because I wanted to get my money's worth. I could take a break for a month if I wanted to and it didn't cost me anything. Moral of the story: I met my current gf on okcupid and she is amazing and things couldn't have gone any better, all because I took the time to target women who I knew would have the traits I liked. Link to post Share on other sites
Author unixuser Posted February 8, 2011 Author Share Posted February 8, 2011 "What are you looking for Unixuser? Are you looking to find a good person to settle down with and have a long relationship with with the possibility of marriage? Are you looking for hooking up? Or just to get out there and date?" I would say getting out there and getting dates would most closely match what I'm looking for. Just to clarify, I'm currently active on okcupid. I'm aware that site has fans, but I'm just not finding the quality of women on there that I want. Link to post Share on other sites
GivenUp0083 Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 "What are you looking for Unixuser? Are you looking to find a good person to settle down with and have a long relationship with with the possibility of marriage? Are you looking for hooking up? Or just to get out there and date?" I would say getting out there and getting dates would most closely match what I'm looking for. Just to clarify, I'm currently active on okcupid. I'm aware that site has fans, but I'm just not finding the quality of women on there that I want. I don't know what it's like in your area, but I'm in Chicago and there were plenty of hotties on okcupid, and now I'm in a relationship with one of them. You can go for the pay sites if you want, just keep in mind your response rate may typically be much lower as women who are even the slight bit attractive will be bombarded with emails from 50 other guys who are also paying a monthly fee to meet women. My point is that its best not to limit your options for meeting new people as you never know who you will come across. Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 (edited) I'm actually well aware of this article. I have a number of problems with it though, including the fact it was a piece written by a free dating site about all the advantages of free online dating. Seems like there might be some bias there. Either way, I seem to hear about more positive things from pay sites than free sites. Thanks for the input though. I'm aware that it's potentially biased, as I mentioned it was written by the site statisticians and deleted after their purchase by a pay monolith. Good luck finding a purely unbiased scientifically sound study on this. For what it's worth, I met my husband on that very free site. I consider that a positive thing. Edited February 8, 2011 by Stung Link to post Share on other sites
waynesworld Posted February 8, 2011 Share Posted February 8, 2011 I have several friends who have done online dating. I'm going to try it out myself too, so I asked them what their thoughts were on the various sites. OkCupid - the best-looking users, with more liberal and artistic types. eHarmony - users tend to be more conservative and looking for long-term relationships. You cannot browse freely; you can only browse matches that the site has picked for you (they send you a certain number of new matches every day). Match - a more established and older crowd. One thing to keep in mind is that apparently there are a lot of inactive accounts on the paid sites. Link to post Share on other sites
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