Titania22 Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Hey Guys, I decided to put this in a new thread, rather then add it to the last one, because I have an actually question. Where is the middle ground? Basically do other people concieve that there is a space being only wanting sex, and wanting the whole nine yards ending in marriage etc? See I have been thinking since last nights date, about what it is I am truly after. In November I thought it was just sex, because hey I don't want marriage and i don't want more kids, and i like having personal space etc. But as you guys know, I developed feelings unexpectedly, so just sex doesn't work for me. But I don't want to end up in some clingy relationship where I have no autonomy. Also if people are deciding at the outset what they want, where is the space for natural morphing and progression? So guys, is there a middle ground? Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 There are so many differnet kinds of relationships that could fit in there---everything from a FWB situation to a serious relationship that has a defined ceiling (no marriage, no living together, etc---at a certain age, it's not hard to find someone who wants that, I imagine; it seems like many middle-aged singles are like that). Why not come up with the sketch of what you'd consider a perfect relationship situation for you and then go from there. You may not be able to just go after that specific perfection, but it'll give you something to work with and start from. Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 I've been wondering the same thing for a while now. While it's good and healthy to have hopes and aspirations it's more important to try and live in the moment. If your head is constantly filled with where is this going, what does this mean and following every scenario you can miss the good stuff. It's great to have some plan for the future but life has a funny way of changing every plan. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Titania22 Posted February 5, 2011 Author Share Posted February 5, 2011 Zengirl, the FWB thing doesn't fit in there, because I being in love with your FWB is inappropriate, and the point is I get feelings, I know that now. I need a situation where me having feelings isn't a problem. Sumdude, it's good to hear someone else feels the same way. Hearing someone tell me they are "just looking for sex" or "they are only interested in having a serious relationship" (please define serious), are to me as bad as each other, because they tell me the person has put a limitation on the experience they are willing to have. FWB, FB and just sex, sound to me like "I am willing to screw you, while I wait to find a girl I am genuinely interested in". Link to post Share on other sites
Author Titania22 Posted February 5, 2011 Author Share Posted February 5, 2011 Why not come up with the sketch of what you'd consider a perfect relationship situation for you and then go from there. You may not be able to just go after that specific perfection, but it'll give you something to work with and start from. This is something I need time to consider. It's a hard one, because I am always proved wrong, anything I think I want is generally not what I want. Like when I thought I just wanted sex, how did times did he say "but you said in your profile..." That's why I want something that can morph and change and prgress in a natural way, rather then outlining something and having it thrown back in my face later. Link to post Share on other sites
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