Gypsy_Soul Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I've heard men mention that when women ask them what they do for a living as one of the very first questions that they give the impression of being a gold- digger. Well lately, one of the very first questions that men have been asking me within the first minute of talking or first message online, is what do I do for a living. Could these men be gold-diggers? Link to post Share on other sites
Jazzari Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Possible. Or it may be they are trying to weed out gold diggers themselves. They figure if you are financially secure, you are less likely to be one. Or more simply, it could just be they are interested in you. People spent most of their lives at work and your job tells alot about you. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I should think that such a question is normal fare in any getting-to-know-you conversation. It takes mor than that to start thinking "gold-digger"--unless of course one has a paranoid world view. Link to post Share on other sites
Duckduckgoose Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Perhaps, but it could also be to make sure YOU are not a gold digger. Maybe they like a strong independent woman. If you are stable and excited about your career it might be a turn on? If there was a person I was trying to get to know I would ask what they do for a living, as it helps me gauge things about their personality. A real gold digger would ask you how much money you make Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 It seems like a common question. Doesn't what someone do say a lot about them? However, if they're asking how much money you make, or more questions about finances, I'd find that crass so early on. It's often an early question I'm asked. I'm paid a teacher's salary (I'm not exactly a teacher; I'm a reading coach in a charter program, but I'm paid like a public school teacher), so I'm not rich. Nobody'd be gold-digging. And I've never noticed major drop-off after the answer. I also ask the question early on. And I'm really not trying to assess salary. Nor am I good at it. I was shocked when my BF told me how much he makes. We had been dating for like three months already, when he happened to mention it. I thought it was way less. Meanwhile, my salary is posted on the county website. Link to post Share on other sites
Lovelybird Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 This is a strange and new phenomenon I found in these days. It seems some men want to rely on women to bring home the bread. My sis's husband is like that, my sis basically has no ounce of respect for him. and he thinks it is normal for a woman to be the main bread earner, and told me to find a good job as soon as possible. I am not a gold digger, but expect the man who is going to build home with me and for children, he'd better be economically stable and independent, otherwise I hardly can respect a man who isn't financially independent. Link to post Share on other sites
Jynxx Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 For most people, what they do for a living is what they are spending half of their time awake on weekdays on. Nothing wrong with the question. While I'm not saying there are no golddigging men, I think they're pretty rare and if you're ever going to run into one it would be at some high class social gathering rather than on an online dating site. Link to post Share on other sites
StalledGirl Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 I've heard men mention that when women ask them what they do for a living as one of the very first questions that they give the impression of being a gold- digger. Well lately, one of the very first questions that men have been asking me within the first minute of talking or first message online, is what do I do for a living. Could these men be gold-diggers? I can be cynical but i'd just assume they were trying to get to know you better? Some people lack conversational skills so asking mundane questions is all they have. Is there a reason why you think they might be gold diggers? Link to post Share on other sites
fishtaco Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I don't do online, since that's well, just not a very good idea for men. But even when I meet people in real life, even when I'm just socializing and not trying hook up, "what you do for a living" is a very common topic for making small talk. Because in the modern society, most of us spend a large chunk of our lives working. And talking about work is a lot less personal than talking about your family, so it's a very common topic. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Funny, I never ask women (or anyone) what they do. I'm more interested in their family life, or where they've traveled to, or what sports/hobbies/etc. they enjoy. I see now that I'd make a lousy gold-digger. OP, assuming the question is serious, the guys are more than likely making conversation. They know that conversation is one important key to engaging a woman's emotions. Throw in a witty anecdote and game on. Wealthy single women will IME very rarely be found online, rather at important social gatherings. I probably met more of them at parties at our zoo than anywhere else when they were doing fund-raising or charitable events. YMMV. Link to post Share on other sites
Roadlesstaken Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Maybe they want to know if you have a good job so that you can buy them a new motorcycle or toy? lol Just kidding. I had a man ask me for an expensive motorcycle recently. I think for a lot of men that it may be just a topic of conversation. Some may be trying to weed out gold diggers, but women can still have a good paying job and still be gold diggers. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Funny, I never ask women (or anyone) what they do. I'm more interested in their family life, or where they've traveled to, or what sports/hobbies/etc. they enjoy. Me too. What a woman does for a living never factors in for me. As long as she isn't a criminal, I couldn't give a toss what she does, a job doesn't make a person. As for male gold diggers... Yeah right! Link to post Share on other sites
Crimson and Clover Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I've known/seen plenty of men who were lazy and leeched off women, but for some reason they're either ignored or called leeches and mooches, not gold-diggers , maybe so other men don't have to admit that there are male gold-diggers too. I would never assume that somebody asking about the other person's work meant they were a gold-digger or a leech, that's a normal thing to ask by itself. If it's something they seem to care about to an unusual degree or if they start asking about salary right away, that's probably an alarm. If they've lived with their parents for a long time as adults, I think that's a possible alarm too. Ditto if they're a sensitive starving artist/musician who's too creative for a day job, or if they're just looking for a cash infusion to start a can't fail business opportunity, or if they've got three or four different baby mama's floating around. Link to post Share on other sites
jane100 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Kanye West "Golddigger" is one of my favourite songs Personally I rarely ask - as for me education, character and interests are far more important. But I agree most people ask about jobs as conversation (though some do just want to stick you in a box somewhere). I do think there is such a thing as male golddiggers though. It may be more rare and more subtle, anyone seen Judge Judy recently, its a parade of parasites! Also some men are only looking for women who can keep up with them financially, not strictly gold-diggers, but certainly money-status-oriented rather than love sigh. Link to post Share on other sites
jane100 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 (edited) How is it a bad thing when women in every corner of the world have been doing exactly that since 50,000 B.C.? yawn ... all your posts are the same Edited January 28, 2011 by jane100 Link to post Share on other sites
Nexus One Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I would ask such a question pretty quickly too, but just out of interest and for the sake of conversation. I really don't give a damn about what she makes. If she can at least financially sustain herself that would be great though. Link to post Share on other sites
Crimson and Clover Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 How is it a bad thing when women in every corner of the world have been doing exactly that since 50,000 B.C.? Come on, you're being silly. For millennia men "in every corner of the world" cheated more than women, now women are catching up. I'm pretty sure you think it's a bad thing if a woman cheats on you, right? Amirite? So knock it off. Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Come on, you're being silly. For millennia men "in every corner of the world" cheated more than women, now women are catching up. I'm pretty sure you think it's a bad thing if a woman cheats on you, right? Amirite? So knock it off. I don't see any real historical proof anywhere that the number of women vs. men cheating has ever really been that different. It's exactly this attitude that has a lot of men being more distrustful of modern women. Really? Two wrongs making it right? You want to get back at some guy in ancient Mesopotamia by effin me over? Link to post Share on other sites
Crimson and Clover Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I don't see any real historical proof anywhere that the number of women vs. men cheating has ever really been that different. It's exactly this attitude that has a lot of men being more distrustful of modern women. Really? Two wrongs making it right? You want to get back at some guy in ancient Mesopotamia by effin me over? I don't think you read me the right way. My point was EXACTLY that two wrongs don't make a right. Maybe you should read what I was responding to, and try again? Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I've heard men mention that when women ask them what they do for a living as one of the very first questions that they give the impression of being a gold- digger. Well lately, one of the very first questions that men have been asking me within the first minute of talking or first message online, is what do I do for a living. Could these men be gold-diggers? Where I live, that's just one of the first things many people say when you have a 'get to know each other' conversation. When there's more to it than just a conversation starter, it's more likely to be about figuring out what kind of person someone is, rather than identifying income levels. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I think absolutely nothing of asking what someone does or what field they are in. Or being asked. Its just a conversation starter and usually leads to interests. Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I don't think you read me the right way. My point was EXACTLY that two wrongs don't make a right. Maybe you should read what I was responding to, and try again? I still take issue with the assumption that men always cheated more until recently. I don't think human nature itself has changed. just the way it's reported. Link to post Share on other sites
alexlakeman Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 No, not gold diggers.. that's one of my first questions, just something to open up conversation, see about compatibility.. For example, i won't date: cookswaitressesHair dressers It's not that I'm looking for a sugar mama, but I want someone that is at a similar level as I am, for many reasons... ie conversations, travel, exposure to my circle of friends... It does NOT mean I think any less of them... Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 I really don't give a damn about what she makes. If she can at least financially sustain herself that would be great though. This is what I used to think also. Until I got divorced. She makes so much less than me. I'm pretty much footing the bill for my kids. Not that I mind, their my kids. But if she made more..... Link to post Share on other sites
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