HONESTLY: What sized girls do guys prefer?

[Leigh 87]

I will take a pic soon, but OKAY: I just want the truth about what guys find PHYSICALLY desirable in a women........... WHAT makes you want to get PHYSICAL with her?

 

I do not want to talk about pesonality; I want opinions on LOOKS.

 

I am getting over an eating disorder and bad body image issues, and I had to gain to a BMI of 20, which I hated. I am 166cm ( 5 ' 5), and 54.5 kilos ( 120 lbs).

 

After gaining to the BMI 20, I hope to get down to about 115 - 116 lbs naturally. I had to eat a weight gain amount to gain, but believe that once I start eating normal amounts, I wi ll naturally drop to about 116 lbs, at 5 ' 5.

 

I have DD breasts around a small rib cage ( AUSSIE 10 DD, and a 32 DD els where).

 

I am wel lproportioned. Flat stomach. I have blonde hair ans light blue eyes.

 

I am not thin/skinny, not a tiny model body type, because my body type dictates that I have large ample ( but not HUGE looking) boobs, and a bubble/ perky curvy butt.

 

HOW many guys like a more petite women? I am about 5 ' 5, so do a lot of you feel more sexually attracted to women of 115 - 110 lbs at 5 '; 5?

 

I know some guys must find me attractive, but I just wish I knew where I stood.

 

I do not do heavy weights, and instead do daily Pilates, walk a lot, and have started a basic dance class at my gym 2 nights a week.

 

I feel more feminine when I am not too muscular. Toned, but not big muscles.

 

I just want to know what different guys are naturally geered towards, physically, in a women.

 

I mean, I guess me being 115 lbs and 120 wont make much diff?

[Fay]

Look, I'm not a guy, but I've read countless studies on this stuff, being a perfectionist as I am.

 

They've done studies on guys of all ages and determined that the average man of any age prefers a woman with a BMI of 20-21. The average college-age guy, on the other hand, finds a woman with a BMI of 19-20 most attractive. Attractiveness decreases slowly as you get fatter than that, but decreases very sharply as you get skinnier. Thus if you have a BMI of 17, you'll be found about as attractive as a woman with a BMI of 26-27, roughly. This corresponds amazingly well scientifically with the fertility of women in relation to their BMI.

 

Moral of the story: it's better to be 15 pounds over ideal weight than 15 pounds under the same.

 

-me (BMI 20)

[Leigh 87]

Thanks a lot for that piece of information, it was helpful! GOod to hear that being too underweight is also a turn off, unless the girl is naturally very small.

 

When I get 111 - 110 and below, BMI of about 18, does that mean I am prob more attractive at BMI 19 - 20? I guess the harsh reality is, if u do not have a pretty face, then fine tuning your body will not make that much different ( iof u r very thin, or just slim, for example).

 

I think BMI 20 - 21 is attainable for people when they cut out chemicals in food, only eat real food, and r active each day. No huge effort. But some other statistics show that most women r healthiest at BMI 22, 23, and 24 respectively.

 

I have the feeling that guys naturally want to be big compared to their partner.... so smaller girls, more petite girls, may be more appealing?

[SadandConfusedWA]

Thanks Fay, that was helpful.

 

My current BMI is 24 (UGH) and I really want to get it down to about 22.

 

Unfortunately, I have a longish face so my face looks better with higher BMI.

[Leigh 87]

I have a oval, sort of thin face too! My body looks hot at 110 lbs ( not no lower otherwise too thin)........ BTU my face at that weight looks a little thin.

 

So I am shooting for about 115 lbs, which is still too low for a person who has had an ED, actually. The leading experts say that BMI of 20 is pretty much essential for long term recovery. And I am curvy, with boobs and butt.

 

But I dunno how long I can deal with BMI of 20 ( 5 ' 5 and about 120 lbs). The fact I have DD boobs and a good curvy butt r the only things thaqt keep me at this weight - cos I know the my curves count as mny weight, and without them i would be thinner/ lighter.

 

I guess is guys like some boobs and butt, but also like petite, they would shoot for a 5 ' 4 ish girl, with c cups ( if the guy likes boobs), and is about 114 - 116 lbs?

 

Because to be really thin, I still think it is no rtpossible to be VERy skinny, AND have boobs. Unless they r fake.

[Fay]

Thanks a lot for that piece of information, it was helpful! GOod to hear that being too underweight is also a turn off, unless the girl is naturally very small.

 

When I get 111 - 110 and below, BMI of about 18, does that mean I am prob more attractive at BMI 19 - 20? I guess the harsh reality is, if u do not have a pretty face, then fine tuning your body will not make that much different ( iof u r very thin, or just slim, for example).

 

I think BMI 20 - 21 is attainable for people when they cut out chemicals in food, only eat real food, and r active each day. No huge effort. But some other statistics show that most women r healthiest at BMI 22, 23, and 24 respectively.

 

I have the feeling that guys naturally want to be big compared to their partner.... so smaller girls, more petite girls, may be more appealing?

 

It's, like, a given that you're more attractive at BMI 19 than 18. And you're right... if a person's face is lacking at an already-thin weight, losing more weight is just going to make them look a little more like Skeletor or a bobblehead doll.

 

Health-by-BMI does depend on a person's build, but 24 is what used to be called "acceptable" rather than "ideal" before the US populace got so fat that we had to change our standards. It's still the case that a person with BMI 18 has a longer lifespan than a BMI 24 person has, even though the 18 one is classified as underweight while the 24 one is, by modern charts, called "normal". Don't believe the hype. From all I've read, BMI 18-22 offers the best health and attractiveness. Above is a slow decline into diabetes and heart disease, and under that is a sharp decline into malnutrition, hair and bone loss and amenorrhea.

 

Edit for Sadandconfused: it sounds like you will be at your best at BMI 22, I'd think. Have you ever weighed that before? Did you look gaunt in the face?

Edited August 28, 2010 by Fay

[Leigh 87]

I guess that keeping my skin clear, and doing loads of Pilate's, and e ating only clean, real foods ( no man made chemicals) will = healthy hair, and a better image; being BMI 18 again may not look at attractive on me.

 

It is odd to think that I may be just as attractive at BMI 20 - 19, as I was at BMI 18......... But I do tend to get hat slender, celeb body at 115 lbs or so. EVEN though it goes against what experts tell me to do.

 

Ultimately, I lack confidence cos I have been socially isolated, so I think my over all image I project is more important than my weight,

 

Problem is, at 54 kilos, I do not feel comfortable enough with my body, to really feel at ease, cos I feel that being lighter is better for men. But I know a lot of men may find this weight attractive too, cos I see LOADS of girls that size OR BIGGER, with decent looking guys!

[Fay]

I guess that keeping my skin clear, and doing loads of Pilate's, and e ating only clean, real foods ( no man made chemicals) will = healthy hair, and a better image; being BMI 18 again may not look at attractive on me.

 

It is odd to think that I may be just as attractive at BMI 20 - 19, as I was at BMI 18......... But I do tend to get hat slender, celeb body at 115 lbs or so. EVEN though it goes against what experts tell me to do.

 

Ultimately, I lack confidence cos I have been socially isolated, so I think my over all image I project is more important than my weight,

 

Problem is, at 54 kilos, I do not feel comfortable enough with my body, to really feel at ease, cos I feel that being lighter is better for men. But I know a lot of men may find this weight attractive too, cos I see LOADS of girls that size OR BIGGER, with decent looking guys!

 

You do know it's all your mind playing tricks on you, right? I went through a brief phase where I just HAD to weigh 110 lbs because I was doing a small amount of runway modeling and really, really wanted that career to take off. 110 on my 5'8" body is ridiculously small, though I do have small bones, and all my male friends started with the comments: "You look sickly," "Yuck, you're getting too thin," or more tactfully, "Have you been eating? I insist on buying you this pizza."

 

I was attractive to no one, except in pictures and as a walking clotheshanger. Yet in my deluded state, I thought the guys were just paying me compliments in an ironic way, or were weirdos who were into fat chicks. I ignored it all because my mind was going to think what it was going to think. Even though I couldn't climb a flight of stairs without stopping halfway through, and my periods had stopped.

 

Bottom line is: screw the experts. Start listening to common street sense. Ask your guy friends what weight looks best on you, because males are in fact the best gauge of female health, since they have been biologically wired to immediately assess our health for hundreds of thousands of years in order to make healthy babies with us. Whatever a guy finds most attractive on us will usually be what Mother Nature programmed us to be for best health results.

[Leigh 87]

Thanks SO MUCH for sharing your run way experience! You know, I think guys do like slim, but a HEALTHY slim.... not that skinny is UN- attractive, but when walking down the street, i think guys notice a small, slim, perky, healthy body, oposed to a model, stick figure?>

 

How much do u weigh now, if u don't mind me asking? Did you over come the barrier of feeling u had to be 110? I did not look sick at 110, but was thin... Still had D cup breasts though!

 

I did not feel sexy at 114 lbs, more than i do at 119 lbs, really...I just don;t know any more.....

[jennifer4]

I can't believe I just read this.. Get over it.. Who cares what guys like. Lose weight if you want to, but do it for yourself. If a guy is just gonna look at you and think, "wow, she'd be so hot if she was 20 or so lbs lighter or heavier"! WTF? You need to relax. Just my opinion though. Stop getting so caught up with BMI and weight.

[EasyHeart]

I'd be very careful on relying on BMI calculations for anything. BMI has nothing to do with your appearance or your health. I'm 5'10" and 175 lbs, which gives me a BMI of 25 and defines me as "overweight". But at that weight I have 10% bodyfat, which makes me pretty lean by any realistic expectation.

 

According to the BMI gurus, I would be a "normal" weight at 130 lbs -- which means I would have to lose every ounce of fat on my body and over 25 lbs of muscle. Or maybe cut off a leg. Or two. It's a completely worthless measurement.

 

As to female appearance, I tend to like lean and fit women, but mostly because it usually signifies someone who eats right and exercises regularly, so her lifestyle is more likely to mesh with mine. I can also say from experience that women who look to be the same size often have very different weights, so weight isn't a very good measure of what a woman (or man) looks like, any more than BMI.

 

Eat right and exercise sensibly (no hourlong cardio nonsense) and your body will find it's natural weight. Then accept that that's who you are and you will probably never look like a movie star. At the same time, be accepting of the men you meet. I've noticed that many women who obsess about their weight and appearance are the most critical about any imperfection in men; they would never dream of dating a guy with a little belly or receding hairline. It's just as hard for us as it is for you, ladies!

[terra]

She just said she is getting over an ED so it's not as simple as "getting over it".

Although probably helpful and comforting to hear studies that suggest that being sickly thin is unattractive to the opposite sex, I really believe that in order to overcome the disorder people really need to feel good about themselves - feel healthy, strong and sexy irregardless of what men might think. I think this confidence goes a lot further than a BMI or a certain number.

 

 

I can't believe I just read this.. Get over it.. Who cares what guys like. Lose weight if you want to, but do it for yourself. If a guy is just gonna look at you and think, "wow, she'd be so hot if she was 20 or so lbs lighter or heavier"! WTF? You need to relax. Just my opinion though. Stop getting so caught up with BMI and weight.

[Fay]

Thanks SO MUCH for sharing your run way experience! You know, I think guys do like slim, but a HEALTHY slim.... not that skinny is UN- attractive, but when walking down the street, i think guys notice a small, slim, perky, healthy body, oposed to a model, stick figure?>

 

How much do u weigh now, if u don't mind me asking? Did you over come the barrier of feeling u had to be 110? I did not look sick at 110, but was thin... Still had D cup breasts though!

 

I did not feel sexy at 114 lbs, more than i do at 119 lbs, really...I just don;t know any more.....

 

I am at 131 lbs. at 5 feet 8 inches right now. I did overcome the whole thought process, but I'm a rare animal who goes through jags. One day I just got fecking fed up with dieting, so I pigged out on carbs and didn't look back. Of course, a huge sense of guilt accompanied it, and it's a process, because I daresay it hasn't left me completely yet, but at this point it's died down to a healthy weight-consciousness which is good for my age, since I'm 26 now and this is the age where we women start to gain a little girth, and I'm still within four pounds of what I weighed when I was sixteen.

 

Like you, I always felt most confident at a weight that was significantly smaller than what objective third parties seemed to find attractive. I wanted to weigh 115, usually. Everyone else told me I looked best at 130-ish. I thought they were on drugs. It turns out they were right. I get more compliments now.

 

But the most important thing I can tell you is that when you exude charm and grace, it makes you so much more attractive than a ten-pound difference will ever make you. It sounds like some feel-good self-help crap, but I swear on my mother's grave that charm and grace are the two most attractive things I've ever cultivated in myself. Worth more than all the liposuction and hair dye in the world as far as drawing people to you, lovers and friends both. And they go along with a nice sense of self-assuredness and peace, too, which is the biggest boon of all.

Edited August 28, 2010 by Fay

[Leigh 87]

Lol, I do not think lowly enough of myself, as a person, to want guys who will only accept me if I was thinner....

 

I know that if I just do the right things for my body, I will look my best. I know this. it is just so hard to not think that being thinner = better. But I am not at the point where I want to be too thin. Just my hottest weight.

 

I was just interested to know if my new, heavier measuremetns still sounded appealing, or if there were alot of guysout there who think that 115 lbs at 5 ' 5 sounds a little more.. appealing than my 120 lbs currently.

[EasyHeart]

I was just interested to know if my new, heavier measuremetns still sounded appealing, or if there were alot of guysout there who think that 115 lbs at 5 ' 5 sounds a little more.. appealing than my 120 lbs currently.

No straight guy would notice a difference between a 5'5" woman who weighs 115 and one who weighs 120.

[jamesum]

Looking attractive is good, but a lot of women are so obsessed with how they look.

[Leigh 87]

That is the problem. The people who are hard on themselves... A lot of guys that r attractive and successful like girls who r my weight and much higher, who have nice perosnalities...

 

It is just hard to hear about all the girls who are like " oh dear, I am 5 '6 and my goal is 110 lbs". It is like a lot of girls think normal is fat.

 

I am sure gusy just like good looking girls, which can be stick thin if they girl is attractive, or it could be a normal weight girl with a pretty face, and who has a fit body.

 

I guess it is just easy for me to be like " okay, if I am x weight I will be more attractive, so I only have to lose a few lbs".

 

The reality for me, is that I need to over come my spcial isolation, which involves how I come across, not how much I weigh.

 

Logically, I do not think many guys would Like me at 110 - 114 lbs, and then NOT like my body at 120 lbs.... They would have to be attracted to me to begin with, based on how I look over all, and how I come across...

[BS76]

BMI is a good estimation for wellness, not attractiveness, so stop using it as such. Yes, if you're obese per BMI standards you're probably not all that attractive to most men, but if you're in the healthy range then it's other things that matter more, like hip to waist ratio, breast firmness, youthful appearance, long shiny hair, and so on.

[Fay]

Logically, I do not think many guys would Like me at 110 - 114 lbs, and then NOT like my body at 120 lbs.... They would have to be attracted to me to begin with, based on how I look over all, and how I come across...

 

Logically. Duh. So work on how you come across. See, what I know is that once you're within 10 lbs of your ideal weight, it's all diminishing returns after that and the only thing you can really do that will make a noticeable difference in your attractiveness is to work on your charm and grace. I read these books maybe 3-5 years ago and they worked WONDERS: 1) How to Win Friends and Influence People; 2) Get Anyone to Do Anything; 3) The Art of Seduction; 4) Catch Him and Keep Him; and 5) The Rules. Bonus book: He's Just Not That Into You. You can download all of these off torrents or the ED2K network if you're feeling pirate-y. They increase social skills a hundredfold.

 

Now, those who haven't read these books might be put off by their titles, but trust me when I say that these books are not Machiavellian or underhanded in any way. They truly change how you relate to people so you see them, deal with them, react to them in a more open and positive light in the end. The whole "fake it till you make it" technique. And it's not just changing how you deal with guys, but everyone.

 

Give my method a try. It turned me from a socially awkward recluse to a comfortable person who promotes nightclubs and booze to innocent bystanders for a living. And I'm damn good at it.

[azhure]

My heart jumped into my throat as I was reading through this thread. I have similar stats to you, and am also in recovery from an ED. I have been weight restored for 3 years - my BMI shifted from 13 to 20 whilst in the depths of my ED, so I completely understand how horrendously heart-wrenching and difficult a process it is. Please please please realise that your psychological and physical health is of utmost importance, and that you are still, albeit inadvertently, entrenched within your ED. Even 3 years later, after countless months spent in treatment facilities with tubes wrenched through my nostril and down into my stomach, after years spent obsessing over the most inconsequential things, the ED remains an omnipresent force, and something I am positive I shall contend with for the rest of my existence. I strongly believe that recovery is measured by ones ability to withstand ED thoughts and instructions, and to persevere notwithstanding ED inclinations. There is no such thing as a ‘cure’. Consequently, you gain strength by rallying against the ED on a daily basis, with the understanding that it indeed has the capacity to overwhelm you in a state of vulnerability.

 

I think your question really needs to be read in light of the fact that you're in recovery from a life-threatening illness, as opposed to a thread dealing with perceived attractiveness, and the desirability of certain stats.

 

Can you honestly say that upon arriving at 115lbs you’d stop losing? Weight loss for us is fraught with peril. Whenever I’ve tried to lose (and most ED sufferers would agree with me on this point), even when I attain my supposed goal weight, it’s never good enough. I inevitably continue to lose and end up in a sorry predicament. I do realise that you say that your body would naturally drop 5lbs as you come off a weight-gain amount of food, but post-gain, your body tends to do wacky things. Also, it is likely that you’d be required to eat a maintenance amount, therefore prohibiting your body from decreasing in weight.

 

I’m sure whilst in recovery it was drummed into you that beauty is not contingent upon weight or proportions. Self-worth is attained though a strong sense of self, which is in turn gleaned from leading a fulfilling existence. You have mentioned your social isolation. I know it’s easier said than done, but you’ll definitely begin to value yourself more when your start socialising. Pilates and dance classes are awesome places to meet new people. Please don’t seek validation through guys being attracted to you. One day you’ll meet someone who values and loves you for the beautiful and courageous woman that you undoubtedly are. Whether or not guys are attracted to a BMi of 18, 19, 20, or whatever is entirely inconsequential.

 

Even if there are guys that would overlook you on the basis of your physique, are these the men you truly want to attract? Do you wish to live your life contending with negative thought after negative thought, and to effectively switch the control exerted by the ED to the control wielded by guys willing you to be a certain way?

 

So my most well-intended and heartfelt advice to you is to please listen to your treatment team. If they instruct you to strive towards a BMI of 20, 21, 22, or whatever the case may be, they truly have your best interests at heart. I vividly remember being hooked up to an IV and petitioning the psychiatrist to allow me to ‘psychologically recover’ before gaining weight, and only now have begun to realise what a truly ludicrous notion that is. I have no doubt that you have made significant progress, and you ought to be so unbelievably proud of your ability to regain your physical health. I do know how scary and out of control one feels during this process, so congratulations. Also, I’m assuming that you’ve just recently regained the weight. If this is the case, please know that it takes a while to make peace with yourself. It took me around 2 years to not recoil in disgust, and begin seeing my body as it is in reality.

[Fay]

I have been weight restored for 3 years - my BMI shifted from 13 to 20 whilst in the depths of my ED, so I completely understand how horrendously heart-wrenching and difficult a process it is.

 

Oh. Wow. Jesus. Congratulations on your recovery progress. 13?! How is that even possible???

[sagetalk]

Eating disorders do not lead to attractive bodies, but exercise does. Workout as often as you can, eat well, and you will be attractive to men.

[Fay]

Eating disorders do not lead to attractive bodies, but exercise does. Workout as often as you can, eat well, and you will be attractive to men.

 

Don't encourage. There's a disorder related to eating disorders, and it's exercise addiction. Both this and ED are linked to OCD. There is nothing "healthy" or "attractive" about making yourself look like this chick, where your body fat percentage is so low that your body cannot produce estrogen to ovulate/menstruate, among other crippling side effects. The last thing these ladies need is to have another compulsion suggested to them.

[bobdole]

I like a healthy look. I have no idea what BMI that is. I tend to stay away from "stick girls", but... the girl I'm dating now is about 5'4" and 105lbs. Not much meat on her, but shes awesome. My last gf of 3 years was 5'10" and 220lbs when I met her. She was about 170 when we broke up though.

[azhure]

Oh. Wow. Jesus. Congratulations on your recovery progress. 13?! How is that even possible???

 

 

Thank you. It was a torrid road – I was told countless times that I wouldn’t make it. I didn’t even realise how unwell I was, still attending uni, socialising and taking care of the family, whilst barely being able to stand upright at the bus stop. Suffice to say that EDs serve indelible purposes – they’re fantastic distraction mechanisms. And that’s what I’m trying to convey to the OP. EDs distract you from pertinent matters and issues which cut to the core of your being such as self-worth and self-love and appreciation, and coerce you into focusing upon things which are insignificant – physique, attraction, popularity, etc. Don’t feed the ED by being overly preoccupied by these things (yes, even 5 lbs can be catastrophic). Trust the process (as I mentioned previously, it took me all of 2 years to do this), and trust that you will emerge a stronger, more lucid person. And trust that this will translate into your interactions with others. You’ll glean so much insight from your experiences. Also, before plunging into the dating scene, it’d probably be prudent to foster a little of this self-love.