Online dating: Match percentages/Real-life compatibility

[tigressA]

I don't know how other dating sites measure compatibility between people, but OKCupid (the site I'm on) has a match percentage that's based on questions the site has that you choose to answer. Of course, theoretically, the higher the match percentage = the higher your real-life compatibility.

 

I've found that with the guys I've met from the site who have had a match percentage with me of 80% or more, I have had great compatibility with them in real life. Meaning that there was a great amount of mutual attraction, conversation flowed very well, we just understood each other very easily.

 

In the few chances I've given to those below 80% (like 60-70%), things did not go well at all. I was either not very attracted to them, or if I was, we had trouble understanding each other, there would be awkward silences; I'd be trying to come up with things to talk about.

 

I noticed that OKCupid had tweaked how they measure compatibility; there was a notification on the site recently. I found that the people I'd already had a high compatibility with (80% and above) either stayed around the same place or went up, while those who I had low compatibility with (70% and below) typically went even lower.

 

Because of this correlation, I personally decided to not pursue anyone with a match percentage below 75%. Has anyone else on the site, or other sites that measure compatibility this way, seen a similar pattern? Do you refuse to entertain anyone below a certain level of compatibility measured by the site?

[SassyKitten]

I'm on that website as well, and I am generally skeptical of those with below 80% compatibility. Of course, my most recent ex was a 94% compatibility, but he was extremely cold emotionally which is the complete opposite of what I need in a man.

[tigressA]

I thought it was interesting since I've had two situations wherein I gave a chance to those with low match percentages. The first one, it was just one date, and I was not attracted to him in real life at all. I remember him being around 65% compatible. Conversation went pretty well, but there was just no spark there at all. The second one was the one I posted about most recently, with C. There was a lot of physical sparkage, but very little emotional/intellectual compatibility. He was 62% compatible, but with OKC's most recent adjustment to their measurements I found he went down to 56%. Yikes! :laugh:

Edited August 6, 2010 by tigressA

[SassyKitten]

Hmmm, they just readjusted the way they measure compatibility? Explains a lot!

[pandagirl]

I think there is some merit to OKC's compatibility tests, but it will never compare to what you get in real life.

 

I met my boyfriend on OKC and our match wasn't very high at all...I think it was 65%-70%. We are definitely different in a lot of ways, and we are not compatible in all ways, but a lot of those differences actually complement each of us. For example, I am highly sensitive and he is definitely not. So when I get hyper-emotional he is understanding, but also does not indulge me.

[kalikula]

Met someone with a 94% match... He was way too awkward for me and was online dating because everyone in RL thought he was gay. Lol...

[Stung]

Tigress, when I was on OkC I only met people who matched me at 90% or above. Most of those were not love connections, granted, but only two were full-out failures, the others were compatible as friends or pen pals or fun casual dates. One guy I dated for about six months, two I am still friends with to this day years later (in fact I am meeting one for lunch tomorrow along with his girlfriend, my husband and our son). One guy I had a lot of sparks with but it turned out we weren't a really good sexual match as he wanted a hardcore S&M dungeon mistress and was into needleplay, which is not really my bag. He was an interesting guy though and a fun drinking buddy for a little while until he found someone who was a better match, there were definitely no hard feelings.

 

I met my wonderful husband on OkC. I was his highest match within 1000 miles, at 98%. He was not listed as my highest, but he was within my top 20, if I recall correctly. We also had a friendship match of 96%, I think.

[zengirl]

I don't think it's perfect, but I'd tend not to be really interested in meeting anyone below 70%. The numbers are also impacted by how many questions one has answered, of course, so you get some fellows who've only answered the minimum and it might not be fully accurate. I only use the Match percentage as a part of what I look at. Pictures and what they write still factors in a lot too!

 

I've had guys with high match percentages contact me that I'd never date because they were significantly religious, didn't like kids, weren't attractive to me, etc. It's not like the number is perfect.

 

For me, 70% is a good cut-off for looking, but I'm not sure I've ever met someone even close to there, just because normally, the site shows you the most compatible people and a lot of the fellows who've contacted me with actual messages were in the 90s. I never dug too terribly deeply for others to the point where I've really seen fellows in the 60s or even that many in the 70s.

 

I don't think the difference between a 92 and a 97 is going to tell you that much, or really anything at all, unless all three of you (both fellows and you) have answered the same questions, etc. But, yeah, the difference between a 92 and a 75 probably means something.

[Eeyore79]

I was a 98% match with my ex, and while we got along famously, he wasn't exactly a good relationship prospect. He was unemployed, had some physically unattractive traits, suffered from anxiety and lack of confidence... while we were immensely compatible in a personality sense, he just wasn't the sort of guy I wanted to be with. I was persuaded to date him because we got along so well, but in the end I broke it off because while his personality was great, other aspects of him were less so.

 

Imo the match % only tells you how compatible you are in personality sense, not whether someone is the sort of person you want to date, physically or otherwise.

[spookie]

Im intrigued... what kind of questions does OKC ask?

[SadandConfusedWA]

I am finding it's not that great. I met someone with 97% compatibility, and while there was a lot of physical chemistry, the conversation was horrible. I met someone with 77% and conversation flowed but no physical attraction.

 

Having said that, I wouldn't meet anyone with below 70% as I feel like I answered my questions about relationships and general ethics that can't really be compromised even if the chemistry is out of this world.

[zengirl]

Im intrigued... what kind of questions does OKC ask?

 

All kinds. Any user can make them. Some are good and some are asinine. A lot have to do with either morals or sex. Religion also seems to be a constant theme. But, really, they can be about anything. They're multiple choice.

 

I do believe the Matching % takes into account other factors as well, though OKC doesn't disclose the entire methodology. They've alluded to taking into account page views, the way you use the site, who you look at, who looks at you, etc. Might even use some keyword software or something.

[Confusedalways]

I generally don't even look at people under 80%. I know I'm in the minority but the first thing I look at (literally, even before other pictures) is the questions we have or don't have in common. For some reason or another I'm convinced that those questions are very telling, and I like to see people's answers. I'm glad they added the explanation part.