swedishfish Posted July 12, 2010 Share Posted July 12, 2010 she boasts, she tells me about friends that are business owners, in bands, she herself is in broadcasting for a nhl team. she makes all of her friends seem totally important. she does things all weekend with her "friends" and calls me when she is bored and has nothing else to do. Its been 5 months and i have yet to meet any of her friends. she is never, ever wrong. it is always everyone elses fault. she expects things from everyone that she will not do fro others. she is very very insecure and cannot admit it. she tells lies to change around the content of conversations, plans to suit herself. i think this woman is just to hard to love....any thoughts, experiences, welcomed Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted July 12, 2010 Share Posted July 12, 2010 Did you know that 75% of all NPD's are men ? and it is estimated that 0.7-1% of the general population suffer from NPD and your GF would have to fit into some pretty tough stats.. Sounds to me like she is just self absorbed.. If she were my GF ...Next....When I was single I didn't have any tolerance for selfish people Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 12, 2010 Share Posted July 12, 2010 I have personally encountered several female narcissists in my travels. If you confirm that this lady is, in fact, one of them run for the hills as fast as you can. Get away from her and stay away from her. Seems like you ought to do that anyway without even doing the research. Go here for some excellent resources on identifying narcissistic personality disorder, although a professional would have to make the conclusive diagnosis: http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/traits.html Link to post Share on other sites
Chicago_Guy Posted July 12, 2010 Share Posted July 12, 2010 Why are you wasting your time on someone who is that self-centered? A narcissist does not make a good partner. They tend to blame all of their problems on other people and want to control everything on dates. Link to post Share on other sites
Engadget Posted July 12, 2010 Share Posted July 12, 2010 In order for a person to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) they must meet five or more of the following symptoms: Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements) Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions) Requires excessive admiration Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes. Sounds like more than a few people on LS actually. Link to post Share on other sites
lso802 Posted July 12, 2010 Share Posted July 12, 2010 Hm. So what is it that you like about her then? Gotta determine the pros and cons on this one. Link to post Share on other sites
maverick35 Posted July 12, 2010 Share Posted July 12, 2010 This could be a sign of her low-interest in you also....I once heard from a female friend that she is self-absorbed when her interest level in the other person is low (ie only yaks about herself without asking too much about the other person or taking any interest in them) Link to post Share on other sites
Author swedishfish Posted July 14, 2010 Author Share Posted July 14, 2010 okay...so for the past few days i have been keeping conversations short by getting off the phone first, setting boundaries, and staying very calm (mostly because i losing interest in this person). Because of the above changes she says i'm acting weird,,(i do not think she knows whats going on and it is driving her nuts..lol), last night she told me she was really not liking me anymore and do not ever contact her again. ....thoughts Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 ....thoughts and do not ever contact her again. Do exactly what she wants... When a woman tells you that you do it.. Why would you want to continue to contact or harass at this point someone what asked you to leave her alone. Time to just walk away.. Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 Is this woman 25 or under? I've dated girls who are self proclaimed 'busy bodies'. Always have to have social plans each night with their friends. They can never just sit at home and miss something. That's all fine until you begin to realize that they are so absorbed with being social that they dont' really want a relationship, so they also wont' make you a priority. She prob didn't realize she wasn't being very fair to you and figured you'd be happy just seeing her when she could squeeze you in. Im surprised you were able to put up with it for 5 months, especiallly if she never actually planned weekend dates with you. She got frustrated because you began to be the aloof one and weren't so available for her to slot you in when she was bored. Because she felt she was losing control, she decided to eject. You dodged many bullets here man. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 Your previous 5+ year LTR was also with what you perceived as a narcissistic, borderline, histrionic personality type. Best to ask yourself why either you're drawn to these personality types or possibly, why you perceive others in an extreme manner. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 Why are you wasting your time on someone who is that self-centered? A narcissist does not make a good partner. They tend to blame all of their problems on other people and want to control everything on dates. This is what I'm wondering. Why are you still with HER????? Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 she boasts, she tells me about friends that are business owners, in bands, she herself is in broadcasting for a nhl team. she makes all of her friends seem totally important. she does things all weekend with her "friends" and calls me when she is bored and has nothing else to do. Its been 5 months and i have yet to meet any of her friends. she is never, ever wrong. it is always everyone elses fault. she expects things from everyone that she will not do fro others. she is very very insecure and cannot admit it. she tells lies to change around the content of conversations, plans to suit herself. i think this woman is just to hard to love....any thoughts, experiences, welcomed What you have is a woman with a "complex". That term is not a put down but a real thing that I have personally been stung by. Narcissism may be a component but people are unique and each may have his or her own bundle of illogical interacting personality idiosyncrasies. Trust me. You are playing Russian roulette with your own sanity by trying to apply logic to such a person's personality. My g/f was gorgeous and so sexually perfect for me when we were together in bed. But her personality schisms would have her come out of her mouth words that made me feel profoundly betrayed when were just trying to carry out the regular routines of life. I finally realized that my logic was turning me into a basket case because she wasn't one person--a single personality capable of learning from mistakes and like your g/f everything was someone else's fault. She simply was fractured into sub-personalities who didn't seem to connect what she had done to cause so many of what should have been happy occasions to turn out as crushing fiascoes. I not only finally broke it off, I moved away and left no phone provision for giving out my new number. She had to be out of my life for good. The roller coaster of ecstasy and agony wasn't worth it even though I don't expect I'll ever meet such another phenomenal sex partner. Link to post Share on other sites
BobSacamento Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 Let me guess: Is she an only child? Link to post Share on other sites
New_Life08 Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 Certainly sounds like narcissistic behavior. They usually wont hang out with people who are onto them. It deflates their over-blown ego and sense of entitlement. I agree with most responses here...head for the hills. People who live in this fantasy world are hard to love. You just can't please them...ever! All my best to you. Link to post Share on other sites
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