Is she trying to look out for me or trying to saboage something?

[relax3d]

I'll keep this as short as possible:

 

 

So, there is a girl (Lets call her Betty) and I like her, a few weeks ago we were at a beach party and we got very close to one another. Since then we've been going out places, talking to each other more and spending time with each other. She came out and told me she liked me but thought that I may have had a problem with the age difference (I am 20, she is 25). I told her we are both adults and at this point in our lives, 5 years isn't going to be a problem. She told that is what she wanted to hear and is happy that the feeling is mutual.

 

Sounds good, but while we hang out there is a lot of physical signs like holding my hand, sleeping on my shoulders and things of that nature, but she also slips in those mind games like telling me " Don't ever fall in love" " I hate guys" or "I don't want a relationship ever again" things like that in a joking tone and doesn't sound serious nor does she say it seriously . But I just brush those aside as mind games and she is trying to test me. Is that normal?

 

Now we get to the main part, so I ran into an old spark (Lets call her Jill) and she told she was seeing someone and blah blah and asked me how my love life was, I told her very vaguely about the girl. but she figured who it was since we were all co-workers. I trusted her enough so I told her a brief story about my situation in hopes she'd help me out a bit in figure "Betty" out.

 

To my shagrin, Betty texted me "I just talked to Jill ". At that point, it was obvious that Jill had told her everything I said, I just played it down. So Jill texted me today telling me "I got bad news for you, you and your girl aren't on the same page" "She likes you but thinks your to young and rather stay tight friends" Keep in mind that Jill and Betty aren't friends and just know each other from work and before this encounter in question they haven't talked in months.

 

Without extending this already long essay, something just doesn't click with Jill's story, why would Betty randomly tell me she ran into Jill and be happy about it? Why would Betty have tell Jill she has a problem with age but tell me that she is happy that I don't mind the age difference? Why are we acting like we're in high school? I am so lost, this whole thing has been playing with my mind since I heard it....

[phineas]

This is why I don't cuddle, hold hands, snuggle, or basically have any type of intimate contact with a woman until I make it clear to her that:

 

1. we are dateing.

2. we are going to be having sex.

 

I am not a cuddle bitch.

[make me believe]

You're stroking her ego by being her "cuddle bitch" as phineas put it. She wants you around because it feels good to have someone fawning over you, and it's nice to have someone available for cuddles & stuff without having to make a commitment. When someone is telling you they don't want a relationship, LISTEN TO THEM. Her actions at that point mean absolutely nothing because all she's doing is stringing you along until she meets a guy who she DOES want a relationship with.

 

My advice is to drop this girl completely. There is no point in being "friends" with someone you have feelings for. She doesn't return the feelings, unfortunately. Don't let her use you as an ego stroke when you know that you want more. Oh, and I'd sit down & have a talk with Jill about boundaries & not repeating things that were said in confidence. That was immature & disrespectful of her.