So much of meeting the right person is due to luck, and luck is not with me

[SadandConfusedWA]

I don't get out much due to working long hours. Yet, I still meet lots of people through work and at work functions. Lots of these people are men and are not really my co-workers (they work at different companies or buildings).

 

Last night, at one such dinner, I got talking to a cute guy around my age. We were getting along well but when I asked him why he moved to city X he told me that it's because he met a girl and and they had a LDR for a while and she is now his wife

 

I can't even begin to tell you how many time this has happened. Would it really be so much trouble for FATE to throw one, just one decent single guy my way?

 

Meeting men through online dating, singles clubs or other contrived settings never worked for me.

 

I am truly begining to beleive that meeting the right person is SO much to do with luck and it is not meant to happen to me. I am really fed up.

[skydiveaddict]

I am truly begining to beleive that meeting the right person is SO much to do with luck and it is not meant to happen to me. I am really fed up.

 

 

No No you will meet someone you're still young. It will happen!

[SomewhatExperienced]

Almost every person I know who met "the one" did so when they weren't expecting it.

[skydiveaddict]

Almost every person I know who met "the one" did so when they weren't expecting it.

 

 

that's what happened to me, and I let her slip away. sucks

[Morals]

How old are you anyways OP? How many hours a week do you work? Are ALL the guys that you "work" (somewhat) with taken? Or are the ones that aren't taken, you just not interested in?

[MrNate]

I don't get out much due to working long hours. Yet, I still meet lots of people through work and at work functions. Lots of these people are men and are not really my co-workers (they work at different companies or buildings).

 

Last night, at one such dinner, I got talking to a cute guy around my age. We were getting along well but when I asked him why he moved to city X he told me that it's because he met a girl and and they had a LDR for a while and she is now his wife

 

I can't even begin to tell you how many time this has happened. Would it really be so much trouble for FATE to throw one, just one decent single guy my way?

 

Meeting men through online dating, singles clubs or other contrived settings never worked for me.

 

I am truly begining to beleive that meeting the right person is SO much to do with luck and it is not meant to happen to me. I am really fed up.

 

I wouldn't say luck has to do with all of it, but it does have to do with ALOT of it. I think you can minimize luck, but you definitely can not eliminate it, otherwise we would all be in happy relationships. Any one who tells you otherwise is not being truthful. Keep your head up

[brainygirl]

I know somewhat how you feel. It seems like around here all I find is the illiterate, the addicted, and the unemployed. The nice ( as in has their act together and know how to treat women) guys are all taken or just not interested in dating.

 

It gets very frustrating.

 

I have tried a slightly different strategy - which is basically looking for someone who is fun to hang out with even if they may not meet all my check marks. So far, its interesting. I'm not sure how comfortable I feel about dating someone I wouldn't feel comfortable living with or marrying.

[alphamale]

I am truly begining to beleive that meeting the right person is SO much to do with luck and it is not meant to happen to me. I am really fed up.

there there SaCWA, you can cry on my virtual shoulder. things will be ok, i promise

[Dragon1]

Unless you are dreadfully ugly or have poor social skills, it's not luck.

[SadandConfusedWA]

there there SaCWA, you can cry on my virtual shoulder. things will be ok, i promise

 

Thanks alpha, I appreciate it.

[alphamale]

Thanks alpha, I appreciate it.

*pats SaCWA on the back*

[SadandConfusedWA]

Guys, I actually went to toilets after finding out that this guy last night is married and had a bit of a cry That is how frustrated I am. It's not even that this guy is anything special, it's just a string of similar experiences.

 

And yes, ALL the guys that I come in contact with through work are either married or at the very least living with a partner. It just seems to me that after a certain age, everyone is taken.

 

BTW I am far from ugly or socially inept.

[brainygirl]

Unless you are dreadfully ugly or have poor social skills, it's not luck.

 

So being charming and handsome, you've met and married your perfect mate, right?

[SadandConfusedWA]

FYI I am 31.

[somedude81]

Leaving things up to luck is a great way to never get what you want. Unless you go out of your way to get something you want, good luck getting it

[TouchedByViolet]

You will meet someone eventually...

 

Thats what I tell myself at least

 

From what I have understood in your previous posts you attract a lot of d-bags. Try expanding your social circles and maybe you will meet a good single guy. Till then come here and post your frustration away

[carhill]

We were getting along well but when I asked him why he moved to city X he told me that it's because he met a girl and and they had a LDR for a while and she is now his wife

 

I can't even begin to tell you how many time this has happened. Would it really be so much trouble for FATE to throw one, just one decent single guy my way?

Replace 'he' with 'she' and toss in 'husband' or 'boyfriend' and you explained the majority of the first 40 years of my existence. Nice to know I wasn't alone

 

The only way I meet ostensibly 'single' ladies is where they clearly denote themselves as single (with variable criteria for what that means) on online dating sites. Haven't met a single one (no pun intended) in real life yet. Married, SO, BF, 'attached', you name it..... still that way even with the 10 year hiatus of marriage. The guys who succeed are those who hit on married/attached women and snag them as soon as there's a slight 'break' in their status. That's why stbx has been so busy as a separated gal. Men don't care, seriously. If it moves and is female, they're looking to nail it. Someone who looks to date women properly has a rough go of it in modern society.

 

You say you're having the same problem with men, finding a 'single' one. Tell me, in the last six months, how many men have you shown interest in who later approached you and how many of those were single? I have a theory I'm working on regarding 'signals'. If only attached men are approaching you, it might be the kind of signals you're sending out. I note your other thread about your (married) boss hitting on you.

 

When the same thing seems to happen over and over, with different people, the one commonality is you (or me). That bears scrutiny, IMO. Good luck

[spookie]

Maybe you should date the wrong guys? I mean, maybe it doesn't become apparent for a while if someone can be "right"?

[Crazy Magnet]

I told luck to screw itself and I purposely went out looking for man to date for the long haul. I had my yes/no list in hand and I was not afraid to use it! lol I went out of my way to meet, talk, and flirt with men and get dates.

 

It worked. I am happily in a relationship with a man who is everything I've ever looked for. There was no luck about it. It was hard work and diligence but it was a lot of fun too.

[Pfiend101]

I'm a great guy in WA and single.

[brainygirl]

I'm a great guy in WA and single.

 

too far, good luck!

[Woggle]

I think if a woman can't find a man she either is doing something to drive them away or wants to be single which is okay but don't blame men for your choices.

[rewe4reel]

FYI I am 31.

 

 

OK.

 

Here is the situation--at your age, most likely you are going to be looking for guys in the 30-35, maybe 37, age range. Guys much younger than 30 will not likely be looking to settle down; guys much older than 37 will be too old for you.

 

Unfortunately, virtually every decent guy you meet in his early to mid 30's will either be "taken" or have significant "baggage"--divorced, perhaps with kids, or psychological issues which have prevented him from previously getting involved in a serious long term relationship. Or maybe he was but got cheated on/dumped and is dealing with the fallout of that.

 

You want someone with a good job, heterosexual, no criminal record, a future, not some dirtbag, right?

 

Well as you're finding out, by that age, the good ones ARE all "taken."

 

Why wouldn't they be?

 

This means you need to be looking at 1) guys who are divorced, perhaps with kids; and/or 2) guys who might strike you as extremely shy or socially withdrawn--IOW guys who you will have to be reasonably patient and perhaps even aggressive in pursuing, because the reason that they haven't been taken is not because there's anything "wrong" with them, other than lack of skill/courage at chasing women. The can be tricky as you don't want to end up with someone who's actually weird, or at least not too weird. But they will be guys who have been hurt by women and are gunshy, and you need to be ready for that. They'll be fine in other ways but they might have some real trouble emotionally connecting with you, at least in the initial phases.

 

To you, this might seem like "settling." But "settling" is what all women in your position HAVE to do. And the longer it takes you to make your mind up to do it, the harder it will get.

 

Your time is very limited. Your shelf-life as a marketable commodity even to second tier eligible males in the target age range is maybe another 2-3 years.

 

Get going.

[Dragon1]

Meeting men through online dating, singles clubs or other contrived settings never worked for me.

 

And yes, ALL the guys that I come in contact with through work are either married or at the very least living with a partner. It just seems to me that after a certain age, everyone is taken.

 

BTW I am far from ugly or socially inept.

That "everyone is taken" is bollocks and you know it and I know it. Single men are all over the place.

 

You are not flexible by your own words. Start being flexible. A strategy that failed in the past may now work out. Online dating, singles clubs, common interests, etc. Just do it. A quitter mentality is a turn off to men. Lose it.

[Dragon1]

So being charming and handsome, you've met and married your perfect mate, right?

I've had my share of relationships, but I'm enjoying my singledom right now. If someone good enough comes along I'll surely take the opportunity. Charm and looks do matter.