Men who speak MAN-SPEAK.. what's he tryin to tell me ?

[vballtay]

quick background- he used to be romantically attracted to me, however i was in another relationship, and eventually he found someone else, but we remained really close. i became single and he still flirted with me, gf of his at the time found racy texts and pics he would send me, and broke up with him then. they got back together, and i told him we should kind of end our friendship due to the fact that it was unhealthy for us to be friends while he (or either of us) were in a relationship, so we did. fast forward several months and his gf dumps him for good. about a month and a half after their final breakup, WE start talking again after several months of no contact, one thing leads to another and we end up having sex. i hope that all made sense in a nutshell..

 

NOW..

 

---he tells me that i'm beautiful and fun to hang out with, and under different circumstances (still dealing with bad breakup with ex) he KNOWS he would like me.

 

---he tells me that he wants to date other people to get over his ex, and that he cant date me right now because im a direct reminder of his ex and what he did, and there's a lot of pain involved. he blames himself for what happened. he says "i'm not even over my ex yet, so i'm definitely not over you."

 

**as a side note, he recently told me that he and this ex-gf of his went through a still-birth. no couple should ever have to go through that, and i'm wondering if that takes a major toll on the "pain" part**

 

---when i tell him that all this is worse than him telling me straight up that he doesnt like me, and about how now i can't do anything about the feelings i have for him, he goes "well yes you can, you just have to be patient." but then he tells me not to wait around for him forever, and that he just wants me to be happy.

 

frustrated, i've been going through a phase where i don't really want to call or text him back and i havent, but that seems to make him try and talk to me more..

 

am i the only one who doesnt understand what he's trying to tell me ? something to me is not quite matching up, but maybe its just me. men, your manly opinions on what other men are thinking would be very helpful

[Twenty-ten]

Translation = "I got what I wanted when I wanted it, now I want to move on"

 

Sorry.

 

Please move on, there is nothing more for you there.

[Sivok]

Be extremely blunt with him. Here's you, a woman he had alot of chemistry with and slept with, available, and yet he says he needs to date other women to be sure?

 

He is playing the **** out of you and keeping you on the back burner. Don't buy into his BS. Don't try contacting him.

 

If he texts you back questioning this say 'I know what I want, you don't. Maybe something will happen down the road, but right now I'm moving on.'

[SarahRose]

It ain't that hard to figure out.

 

He is using you for sex and an ego stroke.

 

He won't tell you to feck off because he wants to still be able to tap it if he feels like it again.

 

Sorry but lick your wounds and move on. That is all you can do.

[SomewhatExperienced]

He MAY be saying that he wants in you to be a serious girlfriend and doesn't want you to be a rebound. If he jumps in too quick with you it'll certainly backfire in that regard. BUT he does want a rebound. He may have to mess around with a bunch of girls and get back to neutral before he can start with you.

[MrNate]

In case you don't get it by now, you're being used.

[carhill]

he used to be romantically attracted to me

+

one thing leads to another and we end up having sex

+

he tells me that i'm beautiful and fun to hang out with, and under different circumstances (still dealing with bad breakup with ex) he KNOWS he would like me.

+

he goes "well yes you can, you just have to be patient." but then he tells me not to wait around for him forever, and that he just wants me to be happy.

 

= One masterful mindf*ck.

 

One feels compelled to deduce that, to him, you were never relationship material (not to say you aren't, but not to him) and his behaviors and disclaimers support that deduction.

 

I love the sword. He cheats on his GF...

 

he still flirted with me, gf of his at the time found racy texts and pics he would send me, and broke up with him then.

 

And then here it comes....

 

he cant date me right now because im a direct reminder of his ex and what he did, and there's a lot of pain involved. he blames himself for what happened.

 

I *feel* his pain. Don't you? A thousand rivers of tears are wept at the altar of his pain.

 

Move on...

[Engadget]

The fact that he said you're cool to hang out with pretty much means he'll **** you, and that's it.

 

I told a girl that, and that was the exact reason. She is cool to hang out with and I'd probably have sex with her, but I'd never date her.