Is She No Longer Interested?

[alex4242]

This girl and I have gone out on multiple dates I guess you would call them. We met in the lab for one of our college classes and sometimes we would stay there until like 6 or 7pm working on a project. We would occasionally go get dinner afterwords together. We did go on 2 or 3 dates that could be actually classified as real dates, where we would see a movie and get some dinner over the weekend.

 

Anyways, things were going well and she spent the night at my apartment after about ~6 dates and nothing crazy happened. Just making out for a bit. A few dates and about a week later I spent the night at her apartment and again nothing serious happened. Just more making out, but a bit more intense. Anyways, we hung out a few more times after I spent the night at her place.

 

Before continuing I should mention a few things. During this whole process we usually talked every day. Most of the time it was just a text message conversation, rarely a phone call, or in person during our class. I almost always was the one asking her if she wanted to do something. The only times she would ask me if I wanted to do something were a couple of days after she declined my invitations to do something because she already had plans. She declines my invitations a lot, and she usually says what she is doing instead. I honestly believe that she is doing the things she says she is and not just making it up to stay away. She does seem like a very busy person. She has declined me a few times and then she would spend the night, or I would spend the night at her place. So obviously she wasn't trying to get away. She may be using that excuse to get away now though, continue reading..

 

Finals were about to begin, and this consists of a week break off from classes (to study) and then another week for the finals. Before this period of finals began we somehow got into a conversation about us and all I can really remember is her saying that she has not had time to think about "you and me." Then she made a joke that basically said she wouldnt be able to hang out until finals are over. Although a week or so after saying that she did watch a movie at my place, so I guess it was just a joke. Since then though we have not hung out (that was two weeks ago). The only time we have seen each other is during our class.

 

Right now it is two days from finals being over and this is what I have been doing during this two weeks of finals.. Trying to not bother her much and maybe talk to her once every two days or so either through just a text or on facebook. During these two weeks she did watch a movie at my place as I said above, and I also asked her to hang out three times. All 3 times she denied me. Lets assume she is as busy as she appears to be. I would be asking her every day if she wanted to do something but then I would just appear clingy/desperate so I never did that. At one point I felt like I was being clingy/desperate and I even told her (after she declined my invitation) that "I hope I dont appear clingy/desperate, I just want to hang out" and she replied with "I know, I understand."

 

Now at this point you are probably thinking well she is just trying to study for finals. I would agree except she has been doing all sorts of things that are not studying over these two weeks. It isn't very excessive, but enough to make me want to ask here. So I mean if she can afford to spend time there then why not a hour or so eating lunch with me? That is what makes me feel as if she is losing interest.

 

So basically I plan on waiting until finals are over, which is in two days and seeing if she still declines my invitations at the same rate or not. If she does then I plan on asking her if she has lost interest.

 

Any thoughts on what may be going on or if I should handle it differently?

 

Thanks

 

Edit: I should also add that I know that she is looking for a serious relationship. As am I, which I told her.

Edited May 9, 2010 by alex4242

[Rorschach]

Over analyzing is bad for your health, you only have a couple more days of finals to go lets just assume that she was seriously busy and couldn't make time (or was simply being responsible and choosing to not make time and study rather than hang out). You can freak out in a couple of days if she still doesn't want to do anything.

[alex4242]

So I asked her on Monday (yesterday) if she wanted to get lunch after our last final exam's finish (at the same time). She never responded to my text message which is the first time that has happened. I know for a fact that she got the text message. I was planning on sending her the following today after the exam:

 

"So I am really getting the feeling that you are no longer interested and if that is the case I would prefer that you tell me instead of giving me the silent treatment (like yesterday). Let me know whats going on."

 

Thoughts? Should I avoid doing this? I really dont want to just stop talking to her. I would rather she just tell me so I can move on.

[youaretheone]

You did all you can do by asking her out. The ball is in her court now. Wait for her response and if she does not call back, move on. Do not put her on a pedestal by asking/begging for her interest with a follow up text. She is already telling you what is going on by not responding and it is rude of her to do so.

[carhill]

Black hole. You enjoyed your time together. You're young and in school. Go enjoy another young lady. She's done.

[SadandConfusedWA]

She is no longer interested.

 

At this point, nothing you do or don't do will change that. You can send her another text if you need "closure" - but she might not respond to that one either.