lithe Posted April 23, 2010 Share Posted April 23, 2010 I know everyone is entitled to an opinion, but it's hard having someone close to you, that basically thinks you aren't very good at your job.While I was working at my last job, I made the layout and illustrations for several books. Granted these were not any big deal books, kids work books, but i was still proud of my work. They took a LOT of time and I thought they came out pretty good. So I showed my boyfriend..big mistake. He looks at it, doesn't say anything for a bit. Then says, can I be critical? So he starts criticizing..and that was pretty much it! He didn't have anything nice to say until he saw I was upset..then he tried to say it was good, but he didn't mean it. This is just one example, he is like this with most things I work on. It really brings me down that he doesn't like my work. I have lost confidence too. Link to post Share on other sites
Arasae Posted April 23, 2010 Share Posted April 23, 2010 He's too critical. If he doesn't appreciate the amount of time and effort you put into those pieces, then he won't appreciate it in other instances where it's crucially important. Fact is, if you're proud of something, the person you're with can endeavor to find things in it that are good--not just be critical. My favorite quote about this comes from Anne Lamott: "You don't always have to hack and slash with the sword of truth; sometimes, you can point with it too." I had a boyfriend very similar to the one you describe, and let me tell you, am I ever happy I got out of that situation! My self esteem took longer to recover than finding a new boyfriend did! Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted April 23, 2010 Share Posted April 23, 2010 Then [he] says, can I be critical? So he starts criticizing..and that was pretty much it! If this is a known issue for you (as it has been for me as an artist), then when he asked "can I be critical" THIS is your point to interject and say, "NO! I am not looking for criticism; just acknowledge that I put in a lot of hard work into the project." If you aren't up front about it, then he will continue to do so and may not know it is an issue for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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