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Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

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Old 17th April 2010, 12:47 AM   #31
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One of my exes was coming on to me, but I kept away. I don't want to get involved with her.
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Old 17th April 2010, 7:44 AM   #32
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Originally Posted by threebyfate View Post
I'm not a guy but IMO, it depends on who got dumped. You'll find dumpee men more prone to trying to get an ex back. Male ego is sensitive indeed.
hmmm. Not really. IME, I wanted to get back with an ex because I was still in love with her.
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Old 17th April 2010, 7:53 AM   #33
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I think you have to define "ex". Is the ex-GF a former serious, LT relationship? Or is she someone you just dated for 3-6 months?

In my mind, it is much easier to find a new GF than to go back to an ex that you don't really care about. So if she was just a 3-6 month fling that you didn't know long enough to fall in love with, then going back to her would probably be out of laziness.

But if she was a LT relationship and you had once loved her, then I think you would only go back to her if you missed her, realized what you lost, and thought that you would do things differently this time.
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Old 19th April 2010, 1:35 AM   #34
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Originally Posted by georgia girl View Post
My fiance and I are having a little debate. I say that men "go back fishing" to their exes because they are just too lazy to find a new girl. He says that this NEVER happens and a man only goes back because he realizes what he's lost. (Mind you, we are exes who got back together and I think he's doing a little CYA here! )

So, truth be told: why do you go back to your exes? Because you miss her? Or because it's easier? There's $5.00 and a whole lotta "braggin' rights" involved so I need honesty!!!


To understand this correctly, you would first need to drop the fun-to-believe notion that men are all about T & A and whatever else they can get from a woman (and still more T & A).

The reason men "go back fishing" to their exes, is the same reason that women "go back fishing" to their exes:

Each continues to put a value on his or her own previous emotional investment in that ex.

If you and I had been 3rd grade classmates, and we "dated" all the way through Junior High School, and some of the most formative times of your life were sometimes represented by thoughts and visions OF me, then it would make perfect sense for you to maintain a sense of "value" to me, even if you later found out that I was a total scoundrel.


A woman walking fifteen paces ahead of me on the street, with a fantastic rear view can in no way represent as much in my mind as would a special "ex" in whom I had previously invested lots of feelings, hopes, care and concern.
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