amirpc Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 I suppose this is mostly targeted at women, but I'm curious as to whether or not there is a general fear of meeting a person from the internet for a first date in person. I'm not talking about the fear you would feel from meeting any new person, but in particular the fear for your safety or the fear that the person you're meeting isn't who they say they are. I know this used to be fairly prevalent but recently it seems like the overall paranoia factor has decreased substantially. If you answer I'd really appreciate if you'd include your age and sex. me: No and I'm a 25 year old male. Link to post Share on other sites
ackerman Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 depends if meeting someone once before and having it end badly counts.. that has made me fear meeting someone off it again. i built up an amazing connection with her for just over a month, we would chat everyday and every night for long hours. she was beautiful, genuine and lovely, we met had a great night together, everything felt the same but real and in the flesh! it was such an amazing experience until she just turned cold on me afterwards, that broke my heart. i now am very cautious with people over the internet, sometimes i feel its better to keep the net connection you have with them then to actually meet them and risk breaking it all. i so wish we still had our late night chats, i loved them and her. im male, early twenties. Link to post Share on other sites
ella23 Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 Yes, I'd be nervous. 20, female. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 but in particular the fear for your safety or the fear that the person you're meeting isn't who they say they are. I don't do any online dating or meet people from the internet for exactly those reasons. It's so easy to fake who you are, lie about being married, whatever, on the internet. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 nervous enough to never ever do it Link to post Share on other sites
Author amirpc Posted November 28, 2009 Author Share Posted November 28, 2009 For those of you who are saying you would never do it, I wonder what specifically is driving that? Are you afraid for your safety? Are you afraid the other person is lying about who they are? Some other fear perhaps that I've not considered? Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 I don't do any online dating or meet people from the internet for exactly those reasons. It's so easy to fake who you are, lie about being married, whatever, on the internet. You can fake that in the world outside the internet as well. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 For those of you who are saying you would never do it, I wonder what specifically is driving that? Are you afraid for your safety? Are you afraid the other person is lying about who they are? Some other fear perhaps that I've not considered? For me personally I would have to see the person live first.. Most people I ever dated were either through someone I knew or I met them at work, I knew them got to know them a little bit first before dating. I am sure that there are good people online just not something I would feel comfortable doing Link to post Share on other sites
Author amirpc Posted November 28, 2009 Author Share Posted November 28, 2009 For me personally I would have to see the person live first.. Most people I ever dated were either through someone I knew or I met them at work, I knew them got to know them a little bit first before dating. I am sure that there are good people online just not something I would feel comfortable doing So knowing FOR SURE that the person is who they say they are (maybe as verified by the dating site), knowing that you'd be in a safe location in public, and knowing that there was a record of who and when you were with - those would have no impact? It seems like you're more saying that you have to know the person before you'd like to go on a date with them, not that you're afraid? Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 So knowing FOR SURE that the person is who they say they are (maybe as verified by the dating site), knowing that you'd be in a safe location in public, and knowing that there was a record of who and when you were with - those would have no impact? It seems like you're more saying that you have to know the person before you'd like to go on a date with them, not that you're afraid? Yes I would have to know the person before I went on a date or at least know that someone I trusted actually knew the person not just an aquatance of...ect... I would definately be weary of dating online and meeting the person even if I knew I would be in a safe location in public, and knowing that there was a record of who I was with dating sites... ( Are they prone to serial daters)....I think so Link to post Share on other sites
CLC2008 Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 I co-sign with Pricillia. Internet dating works for some people, but I think its better to interact with a person face-to-face, especially initially. That's how it was done years ago... Link to post Share on other sites
nocode Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 I'm kind of socially awkward, so I usually get nervous whenever I'm meeting someone new for the first time, whether I "know" them from a website or they're a friend of a friend. I'm a 30 year old woman. Link to post Share on other sites
DustySaltus Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 I co-sign with Pricillia. Internet dating works for some people, but I think its better to interact with a person face-to-face, especially initially. That's how it was done years ago... The first date is all about getting comfortable. The problem is that people go out on these dates expecting something to happen. It freaks the other person out and ruins it for the rest of us. I'm in my late twenties and male, btw. I wouldn't say I'm nervous but I've learned to have NO expectations. Most of the time its been disappointment. Link to post Share on other sites
CLC2008 Posted November 28, 2009 Share Posted November 28, 2009 The first date is all about getting comfortable. The problem is that people go out on these dates expecting something to happen. It freaks the other person out and ruins it for the rest of us. I'm in my late twenties and male, btw. I wouldn't say I'm nervous but I've learned to have NO expectations. Most of the time its been disappointment. First dates can be nerve wracking so a good "expectation" to have would be to NOT assume or expect either person to be completely comfortable or at ease on a first date. I come from a different generation though, the people I have been in relationships with, are those that I've met in person first, either through friends or just being out somewhere. You'd have one date, and then a second, so on and so forth. Link to post Share on other sites
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 Nope, I think it's exciting! As long as you are meeting in a public place, I don't really understand the safety concern. As for the worry that they might not be who they said they were, well worst case scenario you make up a reason to leave, or make the best of the night but don't set up a second date. When I was on an online dating site (okcupid about a year and a half ago) I met a few people in person. Never had a "bait & switch" experience per se. Everyone I met looked like their pictures and were the age they claimed to be. Sure, a couple of the dates were lackluster, but you chalk it up to experience and then say a kind "no, thanks" to a second date. I'm female, and I'm 22. Link to post Share on other sites
V.Vixen Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 I like it. I really like online dating in general, I just don't take it too seriously. I always meet him in a public place and let someone know the first time. Link to post Share on other sites
bac Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 It depends on experience. I am dating online for almost 1 yr, so now i have less fear of men because i know what to expect of them. Now, i know that most are safe in general, especially if they are from match.com or smth like that. I am in 40s. The worst real fear of dating online are flakes. There are too many of them online. In fact, I have 3-4 flakes on 1 real man for the first meeting. The flakes would contact me by email or phone and set the first meeting. But, they do it for some unknown psychological reason, because they will not come for the meeting IRL. Link to post Share on other sites
bac Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 For those of you who are saying you would never do it, I wonder what specifically is driving that? Are you afraid for your safety? Are you afraid the other person is lying about who they are? Some other fear perhaps that I've not considered? They are afraid of a new activity and it is normal to be afraid of doing new things. They simply do not know what to expect from online dating. It is a typical reason. There could be other reasons which you should ask your girl personally because they are her own reasons/false beliefs/false assumptions. Another reason could be anxiety disorder or any other emotional problems. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 29, female. If there's even a hint of a red flag about a certain person, I don't meet them IRL. Every person I've met in person from online, I had zero nervousness as far as their intentions were concerned. I've only been nervous just about meeting someone new. Link to post Share on other sites
b52s Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 I don't do any online dating or meet people from the internet for exactly those reasons. It's so easy to fake who you are, lie about being married, whatever, on the internet. Ted Bundy pulled it off pretty nicely when he sweet talked all those ladies and then chopped them into bits. And that was before the internet. So...it doesn't matter. Link to post Share on other sites
b52s Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 I like it. I really like online dating in general, I just don't take it too seriously. I always meet him in a public place and let someone know the first time. Doesn't pretty much everyone do that anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
V.Vixen Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 My ex husband has never used online dating, and he has conned several women into being his sugar mama! I think the ones that exude charm are actually more of a danger in person. They don't even have to do much to get you to hand over your number. I have met many many men from online dating, and the majority have been true to their computer personas. The ones who weren't would have fooled me in person too. Link to post Share on other sites
V.Vixen Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 Doesn't pretty much everyone do that anyway? usually! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts