suby Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 I am very confused, & I hope someone can help me. I have been intimate to a 40 yr. old man for 2 yrs. He will not commit or tell me he loves me. His actions tell me that he does, but he never says it. I always tell him that I want a serious relationship, and I love him. When I ask how he feels, he dodges the issue. He was married twice and divorced twice with the same woman before he was 25. He has a bad sense of timing, a workaholic, and he doesn't know how to say "no" to others. The only arguments we have are about "time management" because I get to spend very little time with him due to what I mentioned above. I am 36, never married. I am thinking about bringing in some competition for him to get his attn. I want to know where I stand, so I want to get the "ball rolling" in either direction so I know how he feels about me, since he won't talk to me. I do not want to use anyone. I just want some answers. I would like it very much if I could get the opinions of men, as well as women, since I need to hear what a man thinks about my plan. If there are any other ideas, please let me know. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 I don't think the games will work but you can try. With a man this age, it's not likely he's going to change. Why do women always want to change a man instead of finding one they don't have to change? Don't answer that. I guess we all need changing. It's not likely you will get this guy to budge...and I think he will be quite wise to the games you are considering. Why play games...start pursuing others FOR REAL!!! It's obvious you aren't getting what you need from this guy and unlikely you ever will. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 You say his actions tell you that he loves you? What actions? Apparently, he does not make enough effort to spend time with you - that, to me, is an action that says quite the opposite. He won't talk to you about the relationship - another minus. Maybe you should rethink what you use to define somebody else's love for you? You may realize he falls short by a long shot. Link to post Share on other sites
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