loveslife Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 During my break from men I've gotten really focused on some career goals. I'm very excited about the progress I'm making and don't want that to end. I love what I'm doing. I have no intention of changing this if/when I get involved again. Can't remember the last time I felt this good about my career. Is this a turn on or turn off to men? Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 I'm not a guy, but I think it would depend on the guy. Some guys are attracted to this and think it's great. Likely to also have a similar desire and/or career goals. I think it's great that you want to stay as you are and find someone who is willing to accept that. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 If I see that same enthusiasm as a global energy, permeating my world, then it's attractive. If it's ego-centric, buh-bye Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveslife Posted September 3, 2009 Author Share Posted September 3, 2009 I'm not a guy, but I think it would depend on the guy. Some guys are attracted to this and think it's great. Likely to also have a similar desire and/or career goals. I think it's great that you want to stay as you are and find someone who is willing to accept that. Thanks DG. I feel stronger in my sense of self right now than I have in ages. That has to be only good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveslife Posted September 3, 2009 Author Share Posted September 3, 2009 If I see that same enthusiasm as a global energy, permeating my world, then it's attractive. If it's ego-centric, buh-bye Could you expand a bit? I'm not sure what you mean. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 If she is really focused on her career goals, I'm betting she worries about more than whether or not she is still attractive to men who might not like her having career goals. Or If you're really, really worried about not being found attractive to most men, you might not have enough success in your career goals to continue pursuing them. Most successful people are successful because they are determined to be so despite obstacles they face. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 Sure... My best friend's wife is career driven. She's now retired from a successful career, active in the community, sponsors children in education and life pursuits and otherwise goes a million miles an hour. I just hauled home a load of furniture going to one of those children. She also knows and cares about the intimate details of my mother's care (her dad died of Alzheimer's), asks me about my divorce, and is generally supportive and loving. In other words, yes, she's busy and involved, but she makes people feel loved and valued. Those factors, among others, make her attractive to me (as much as she could be as my best friend's wife); if she were single and I observed such behaviors with others (not me, since she wouldn't know me), I'd find the combination of drive and compassion and love to be very attractive. If she prattled on about her career (as I suffer through with so many men), buh-bye Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveslife Posted September 3, 2009 Author Share Posted September 3, 2009 In other words, yes, she's busy and involved, but she makes people feel loved and valued. Those factors, among others, make her attractive to me (as much as she could be as my best friend's wife); if she were single and I observed such behaviors with others (not me, since she wouldn't know me), I'd find the combination of drive and compassion and love to be very attractive. If she prattled on about her career (as I suffer through with so many men), buh-bye The words I highlighted above are what I hope to achieve. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveslife Posted September 3, 2009 Author Share Posted September 3, 2009 If she is really focused on her career goals, I'm betting she worries about more than whether or not she is still attractive to men who might not like her having career goals. Or If you're really, really worried about not being found attractive to most men, you might not have enough success in your career goals to continue pursuing them. Most successful people are successful because they are determined to be so despite obstacles they face. Thanks sally3sara. I'm not really worried, more curious. Am trying to improve myself and achieve balance. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 It is good but it can't make up for a horrible personality which quite honestly many careerist women do have. If you act like men are useless to you which many do you will be an instant turnoff. Link to post Share on other sites
tomtom26 Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 It can go two ways, and I'm talking solely for myself: 1) I love women that are intelligent, smart and are go-getters. I like that they have their own "lives" and careers that they care about. I like the fact that they want to make something out of themselves and want to contribute to the relationship. They are independent, strong-willed and goal-oriented. All these attributes I like because I think they do wonders for a relationship. When I'm dating a girl like this I feel like I'm partner rather than a bred-winner. I like that. Women in power is also sexy..........and that translates well to the bedroom too. 2) The only situation where it could get annoying is that their job is the most important thing in the world to them. They are constantly working, never have time for you, and all compromises are at the expense of your relationship. Also, some women who are extremely successful also come off as arrogant and sometimes treat you like **** cuz they don't "need" you. If you are not around, they can support themselves financially and they can easily fill an emotional void with work........ In general I am extremely attracted to independent woman who know what they want and work hard to get it, as long as they want a solid relationship as well, and their lives aren't defined by their careers. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 During my break from men I've gotten really focused on some career goals. I'm very excited about the progress I'm making and don't want that to end. I love what I'm doing. I have no intention of changing this if/when I get involved again. Can't remember the last time I felt this good about my career. Is this a turn on or turn off to men? It depends on how you present it. If you make it clear that Career is more important than family.... Turn Off. Also, it depends on how you handle that career. If it stresses you out... turn off, if it takes up most of your time... turn off... ect. Also.... I should note that most of my friends who are successful choose marry the stay at home or work from home type. My friends who don't make much themselves.... love career women! So in that sense opposites attract. Link to post Share on other sites
deux ex machina Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 During my break from men I've gotten really focused on some career goals. I'm very excited about the progress I'm making and don't want that to end. I love what I'm doing. I have no intention of changing this if/when I get involved again. Can't remember the last time I felt this good about my career. Is this a turn on or turn off to men? I'm in the very same place you are. Well. You know, I think as long as you don't let the stress of it all change who you are, and your loved ones know they are a priority in your life, people will find it attractive. Everything in moderation. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
BobSacamento Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 Sure they are. I have only experienced on situation where it was not attractive. When the career would cause I long time of travel time. Like the Military or having to do training 20 hours away for a significant amount of time. I wouldn't be attracted to someone like that because there is a expiration date. Link to post Share on other sites
fral945 Posted September 3, 2009 Share Posted September 3, 2009 Is a woman focused on career goals attractive? If she is focused but makes plenty of time for me and doesn't constantly put me 2nd, that's a positive. If I generally come 2nd to her career (i.e., she is a careerist), it's a negative. I have no intention of changing this if/when I get involved again. Can't remember the last time I felt this good about my career. Is this a turn on or turn off to men? The statement about bothers me. I interpret it as "A man will always come second to my job". Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveslife Posted September 4, 2009 Author Share Posted September 4, 2009 Thanks guys! I appreciate the feedback. It was all really helpful. It gave me a perspective of how people perceive women who enjoy their career. I'd hardly call myself a careerist, although I'm not sure what that means. It sounds like it means a corporate go-getter. That's not my line of work. For me, my work is more expressing myself and feeling like I make a difference. It's being mentally engaged. And I don't mind making money. I think when I'm working I'm a more interesting person. I've been through the time in my life when I thought work was more important than relationships. NO more. But it still does give me a sense of satisfaction. When I said I have no intention of changing it's because I feel so good right now with finally making headway where I haven't for so long. I don't wanna stop. But I'm also not a 24/7 workaholic by any means. Thanks again!!! Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 You go LL! Always be true to who you are, and if a man doesn't appreciate you for you, then he's not right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveslife Posted September 4, 2009 Author Share Posted September 4, 2009 You go LL! Always be true to who you are, and if a man doesn't appreciate you for you, then he's not right. Definitely! I think the best we can do is to be ourselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 loveslife, being a careerist doesn't slow down your dating life unless you allow it to happen. The men who aren't dissuaded, should be your target audience. The ones who are more self-centric, aren't a good match. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 During my break from men I've gotten really focused on some career goals. I'm very excited about the progress I'm making and don't want that to end. I love what I'm doing. I have no intention of changing this if/when I get involved again. Can't remember the last time I felt this good about my career. Is this a turn on or turn off to men? Ride that wave! Just be sure to get off from time to time and enjoy yourself and maybe someone you might like to get to know better. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 Just a curious Q to all the men saying it's okay as long as they aren't 2nd to the girl's job: Do you put your girlfriend first or your career first? I always thought it was common nature for career to come first for most men. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 Just a curious Q to all the men saying it's okay as long as they aren't 2nd to the girl's job: Do you put your girlfriend first or your career first? I always thought it was common nature for career to come first for most men. If I have gotten to the level of wanting to commit to a woman she comes first. No woman gets commitment from me without being worthy of that so yes I do put her first. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted September 5, 2009 Share Posted September 5, 2009 During my break from men I've gotten really focused on some career goals. I'm very excited about the progress I'm making and don't want that to end. I love what I'm doing. I have no intention of changing this if/when I get involved again. Can't remember the last time I felt this good about my career. Is this a turn on or turn off to men? Damn straight it's attractive. I refuse to associate with a woman who is going no where. Link to post Share on other sites
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