Ever Get Stuck in an Attitude Rut?

[AlektraClementine]

My partner and I are currently in the bowels of some hard work having to do with trust issues. Things are okay and we're getting along. But sometimes I get really fixated on the past and have a hard time even being civil to him even though he is more than civil to me. I mind his words very carefully and at the slightest discrepancy in a story, I shut down and turn cold.

 

I realize this is counter-productive but for the life of me, I'm having trouble finding that sunshiny outlook this week. Any tips for focusing on the positive or seeing through the muck to get back that positive motivation?

 

Thanks!

 

p.s. and fyi - though some of you may poo-poo it, I'm a Leo and extremely prideful. Pride has a lot to do with it.

[TaraMaiden]

It's a hard trick to learn, and an even harder one to practice, but here's the thing:

Our moods stem from our thoughts.

Our emotions take the lead from what we think.

 

We think a thought.

A negative thought.

Then, before we know it, we are following through with a responding thought. It's like we have an internal dialogue, validating the previous nega-thought.

Suddenly, we feel like cr*ap, and have a mind like rumbling thunder.

 

Here's the trick.

'Watch' the thoughts.

Seize it, before it has an opportunity to recruit followers.

Stop it in its tracks.

Challenge it.

ask it what the hell it means?

Be cross, but with yourself, because your negative thoughts are sabotaging your efforts to heal and move on....

 

If you don't catch it, you will realise, at one stage, that your thoughts are immersing you in a whirlpool of mental anguish and turmoil.

Well, catch sight of your latest thought (in the string of thoughts) and work your way back to the beginning thought.

Then, Laugh.

Because you'll see how right I am.

And catching yourself being a bloody ididot is really quite funny.

[AlektraClementine]

It's a hard trick to learn, and an even harder one to practice, but here's the thing:

Our moods stem from our thoughts.

Our emotions take the lead from what we think.

 

We think a thought.

A negative thought.

Then, before we know it, we are following through with a responding thought. It's like we have an internal dialogue, validating the previous nega-thought.

Suddenly, we feel like cr*ap, and have a mind like rumbling thunder.

 

Here's the trick.

'Watch' the thoughts.

Seize it, before it has an opportunity to recruit followers.

Stop it in its tracks.

Challenge it.

ask it what the hell it means?

Be cross, but with yourself, because your negative thoughts are sabotaging your efforts to heal and move on....

 

If you don't catch it, you will realise, at one stage, that your thoughts are immersing you in a whirlpool of mental anguish and turmoil.

Well, catch sight of your latest thought (in the string of thoughts) and work your way back to the beginning thought.

Then, Laugh.

Because you'll see how right I am.

And catching yourself being a bloody ididot is really quite funny.

Ugh. You would offer sound advice.

[TaraMaiden]

Yup.

That's me.

logical, even-minded, rational and on the button.

What a bi*t*ch, uh?

 

Sorry 'bout that.

 

But unfortunately, and sometimes, much as you may not believe me, I hate being right.....

 

But it's true.

We put ourselves through moods purely and simply because we let our thinking drag us there.

And we're not even aware of it.

And because there's someone else involved, and our issues are with that 'someone else', we automatically assume then, that it MUST be their fault.

Well, naturally! Who else's fault could it be?

Not ours!

 

Well no, actually, it isn't.

But what goes on between our ears, is our responsibility.

 

There's a difference.

 

be responsible for your THINKING.

Lasso it, harness it, and make it go the way you want to go....

 

All the best!