paddington bear Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 This is just me venting really, less venting more of a solo little pity party. I'm doing a language class right now. Last week the teacher asked us all about our families. Everyone else in the class talked about their kids, their wives and husbands, I was the only one there without a family and I felt like some kind of freak. Not helped by a young guy in the class saying 'What? You don't have anyone? You live alone, with no man???' Then later another guy saying 'you should make babies' on seeing me play with the child of another class member during the break and my instant thought was 'with whom? No one wants me beyond one date, let alone to 'make babies' with me'. And then finally today it was the question 'how many brothers and sisters do you have'. Me, none, everyone else from 1 to 9 (yes 9!!!) and again I felt like some solitary spinster freak person - and while I'm positive most of the time, today I just feel so low and that horrible thought that one should never think pops into my head 'what's so wrong with me that no one wants to have a relationship with me?'. And I guess, well I'm a bit heartbroken right now anyway and trying to come to terms with that rejection, feeling alone anyway because that person is no longer in my life, and when random people say these sorts of minor everyday things it just reminds me that I seem to be just totally alone always and it's so hard to stay feeling positive and telling yourself that being single is great and wonderful. Sometimes being single is great, is tolerable, is not an issue, but right now at this moment it's just totally s**t and lonely and I wonder is this the way it's going to be forever and ever, as while everything else in my life progresses, my love life remains as it was for years, meet someone you like, they meet you for a date then don't want to see you again, or are in a couple, or live abroad, or aren't over their ex or, or, or. And between these unavailable people is just...nothing and no one. It just sucks, that's all I can say. I hate stupid emotions and moods, yesterday I was in great form, today I just feel like crying Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 I've had those days. My family dynamic is a strange one too. Keep your chin up, things can only get better Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 I don't have any family besides a mom (luckily she's cool), and I certainly don't have girlfriend. People looove to brag about those in their life and they never stop to think that some people might be islands. PB, this is just a stage in your life, the time before you make a good friend, meet a man, or even become involved in a hobby or something that excites you so much that you don't even stop to realize how alone you are. The test of the human spirit is to put it in sh*t and see if it can make a work of art out of it. Now start seeing how you can spin this sh*t into gold. Link to post Share on other sites
Author paddington bear Posted May 25, 2009 Author Share Posted May 25, 2009 Thanks guys, as I said, it's just one of those days, doens't happen all the time, just every now and then. I'm sitting on my balcony having a glass of wine watching the swallows fly about...guess I shouldn't be drinking wine though as alcohol is a depressive.... Problem with me is that I do have other things in my life that I'm passionate about...but when I feel like this I can't even be motivated to do the things that make me happy, stupid catch 22. Anyway, as Scarlett O'Hara said, tomorrow is another day. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Then later another guy saying 'you should make babies' on seeing me play with the child of another class member during the break and my instant thought was 'with whom? No one wants me beyond one date, let alone to 'make babies' with me'. I hate stupid emotions and moods, yesterday I was in great form, today I just feel like crying Makin' babies is fun, atleast in practice... wonderful past-time Link to post Share on other sites
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