v g Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 You know, first a man finds a woman attractive and seems to really be into her, calling, pursuing, dating. Once she's into him, enjoying his company, reciprocating, he seems to back off, as if he's just now figuring out whether he's into her. One would think he would be figuring that out during the calling/pursuing/dating stage. Just curious if this is how it tends to work. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 You know, first a man finds a woman attractive and seems to really be into her, calling, pursuing, dating. Once she's into him, enjoying his company, reciprocating, he seems to back off, as if he's just now figuring out whether he's into her. One would think he would be figuring that out during the calling/pursuing/dating stage. Just curious if this is how it tends to work. Some dudes are like that, once the chase is over the tend to back off and not be so open about theirs. But usually if the woman isnt paying attention when the man wants to chill with her, why should he reciprocate in the first place? It's many different ways it could go. Link to post Share on other sites
Cherished Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 Nope. He's actually more into her if she doesn't give him 'assurance' and lay it all out on the table for him. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 Nope. He's actually more into her if she doesn't give him 'assurance' and lay it all out on the table for him. can you expand on this thought process a bit? i've seen both scenarios and others as well... i tend to think it depends on the man. some men just tend to get bored after a while... want variety. even though some of my male friends say they are happy and seem happy - they still tend to go hunting for the fun of it. why? why does that happen if they seem and say they have never been happier in their life? i never get that part. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 can you expand on this thought process a bit? i've seen both scenarios and others as well... i tend to think it depends on the man. some men just tend to get bored after a while... want variety. even though some of my male friends say they are happy and seem happy - they still tend to go hunting for the fun of it. why? why does that happen if they seem and say they have never been happier in their life? i never get that part. Because men are hunters and the car's the bait! lmao. J/k. But really some men like to chase women they feel like that women need to be persued. Like alpha males usually hunt women and they like challenges. I'm like one of those guys that dont like chasing women too much. If I like you I'd let you know, I'm a nonsense type of guy. I'm not into games. But if you dont reciprocate and play games with it, then I start to resent it because she's wasting my time. I dont like to waste my time. Link to post Share on other sites
single ape Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 you also have to factor in that dudes are all ego driven.. if they are chasing.. the girl is too good for them, therefore they want it.. but if she becomes interested, they question if they have maybe lowered the bar a bit much... kind of like that groucho marx quote.. about "not wanting to be a member of a club that would allow me" .. except with girls.. and im finishing this comment off with a hopping bunny just cause its rad.. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 you also have to factor in that dudes are all ego driven.. if they are chasing.. the girl is too good for them, therefore they want it.. but if she becomes interested, they question if they have maybe lowered the bar a bit much... kind of like that groucho marx quote.. about "not wanting to be a member of a club that would allow me" .. except with girls.. and im finishing this comment off with a hopping bunny just cause its rad.. ...not all dudes are ego driven. lmao. Some dudes can be satisfied after they get the women. and yet some dudes cannot just settle down. but it's not all ego. it's perception, it's vanity, it's lust, it's bragging rights. it's many things. Link to post Share on other sites
single ape Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 . it's perception, it's vanity, it's lust, it's bragging rights. it's many things. 3 out of 4 of those fall under the ego umbrella Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 3 out of 4 of those fall under the ego umbrella Ego umbrella? ...nice, what else is under there? lol. Link to post Share on other sites
single ape Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 all sorts of ****... it's messier than a teen's room Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 No. A man doesn't decide he's interested only after she's interested. Sometimes the man decides he is interested though she hasn't gave an indication either way. And sometimes the man decides he is interested even when she has made it very clear she is NOT. Link to post Share on other sites
bananacake Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 One thing thats for sure is that its more fun to flirt/pre-date someone that doesnt throw themselves at you. As a guy, i love it when girls act a little hard to get. If she is just like "ok i like you too, have your way with me", then the whole excitement is already gone. When you fall in love though, you dont care so much anymore. You just want them to be yours no matter how =p Link to post Share on other sites
UCLAMike Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 if I like a girl and there's no progression after the 2nd date, I'm out. I dont chase for more than 2 times. its not worth it. if she is interested, she will let me know, not play games. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 You know, first a man finds a woman attractive and seems to really be into her, calling, pursuing, dating. Once she's into him, enjoying his company, reciprocating, he seems to back off, as if he's just now figuring out whether he's into her. One would think he would be figuring that out during the calling/pursuing/dating stage. Just curious if this is how it tends to work. I'm going to assume you're female and this is something that's happened to you. If a guy pulls this, RUUUUUNNNNN and never look back, even though he'll be pursuing you like you're the last woman on Earth and he's not had sex for a decade! Link to post Share on other sites
Cherished Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 I think that, as cliche as it sounds, men do like to chase. They like the challenge. A woman who clearly lets the guy know her interest in him straight from the start bores them. can you expand on this thought process a bit? i've seen both scenarios and others as well... i tend to think it depends on the man. some men just tend to get bored after a while... want variety. even though some of my male friends say they are happy and seem happy - they still tend to go hunting for the fun of it. why? why does that happen if they seem and say they have never been happier in their life? i never get that part. Link to post Share on other sites
paddington bear Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 I'm going to assume you're female and this is something that's happened to you. If a guy pulls this, RUUUUUNNNNN and never look back, even though he'll be pursuing you like you're the last woman on Earth and he's not had sex for a decade! Why? Isn't this the whole Mars Venus theory that men are like rubber bands, constantly pulling away and bouncing back?!! Elaborate please, I'm intrigued. Link to post Share on other sites
wierdmunky Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Some dudes are like that, once the chase is over the tend to back off and not be so open about theirs. But usually if the woman isnt paying attention when the man wants to chill with her, why should he reciprocate in the first place? It's many different ways it could go. This is interesting! So why wouldn't you start the chasing over if the woman isn't paying attention. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Why? Isn't this the whole Mars Venus theory that men are like rubber bands, constantly pulling away and bouncing back?!! Elaborate please, I'm intrigued.No doubt you'll find men like this. More often than not, it's one of the following:He's just not that into you.He's reading from the book of playahs, using the hook technique.He's commitment phobic.He's an emotional coward.A combination of a couple of these.In all cases, why bother? Find yourself a guy who's totally into you and has balls enough to express it, and the ability to be and maintain commitment. Link to post Share on other sites
39388 Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Why? Isn't this the whole Mars Venus theory that men are like rubber bands, constantly pulling away and bouncing back?!! Elaborate please, I'm intrigued. Some men are like this and furthermore a lot of books and online articles tell men to behave like this. To me, it is playing games and I refuse to do that. If a woman expects me to behave like this, I have no chance with her. No doubt you'll find men like this. More often than not, it's one of the following:He's just not that into you.He's reading from the book of playahs, using the hook technique.He's commitment phobic.He's an emotional coward.A combination of a couple of these.In all cases, why bother? Find yourself a guy who's totally into you and has balls enough to express it, and the ability to be and maintain commitment. Excellent post Link to post Share on other sites
Author v g Posted April 13, 2009 Author Share Posted April 13, 2009 I'm going to assume you're female and this is something that's happened to you. If a guy pulls this, RUUUUUNNNNN and never look back, even though he'll be pursuing you like you're the last woman on Earth and he's not had sex for a decade! Yes, I'm a female, and this happens to me too often. I don't like the idea of playing hard to get/not interested. In the end, it's the same result, that he does or does not like me. No doubt you'll find men like this. More often than not, it's one of the following: He's just not that into you.He's reading from the book of playahs, using the hook technique.He's commitment phobic.He's an emotional coward.A combination of a couple of these. In all cases, why bother? Find yourself a guy who's totally into you and has balls enough to express it, and the ability to be and maintain commitment. Beautifully put. However, how does one distinguish beforehand whether he's this way or not so as to not bother with him? Better put, how do I recognize a guy who's into me, not just acting like he's into me? Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 I think that, as cliche as it sounds, men do like to chase. They like the challenge. A woman who clearly lets the guy know her interest in him straight from the start bores them. Personally I have to disagree a bit with the last part. If I like a girl, her letting me know that she's into me won't have any influence on me. She shouldn't tell me that she likes me, but at least show it or throw in the line and sinker every now and then to let me know I have a chance. Beautifully put. However, how does one distinguish beforehand whether he's this way or not so as to not bother with him? Better put, how do I recognize a guy who's into me, not just acting like he's into me? Well I could ask the same about women that put on an act but aren't really interested. I think a good way is to see how their body language is..if all else fails and you don't hear from them after some dates, then there's your answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Thanks 39388. You're the decent kind of guy that now you've gotten your feet wet, you'll find someone in no time! v_g, I don't have any guaranteed way to tell, beyond watching words and actions. If both synch and he treats you like a priority, you have someone who's head and heart are going the same direction. The minute you spot a discrepancy, keep your eyes and ears wide open. Also, listen to your gut instinct. If something doesn't feel right, there's usually a reason for it! Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 This is interesting! So why wouldn't you start the chasing over if the woman isn't paying attention. But here's the thing the woman is playing attention and she's being coy about it and playing hard to get. I'm not a dude that's chasing a woman you know. It gets tiresome especially when you know she's feeling you but cant give you a straight answer. There's nothing worse than when a man asks a woman to go out and get something to eat and she hemms and haws about the answer. Frustrating! lmao. Link to post Share on other sites
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