dolly718 Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Hi everyone, I've been in a committed relationship [although we have broken up once] for the past three years, including one year when we lived together. We're both very passionate, stubborn, opinionated, hot-headed people--this has led to great chemistry but also epic fights and much suffering on both our parts. We broke up earlier this year; it was incredibly painful for both of us, especially me, so we decided to get back together. We had broken up because of my difficulties in communicating, and his as well. We would constantly hurt each other because we wouldn't talk about how we felt, we would just yell and be defensive. So we decided to get back together in the hopes that we could change and make it work. He did change, big time. As for me, I've had some troubles. I find it really hard to just talk sometimes, and often I find myself doing things that are just mean [like ignoring him because I'm pissed off about some petty BS or being a bitch just for the sake of it], and when I'm mad about something, often I just displace my anger onto something else and end up hurting the poor guy. I know what I'm doing and I hate myself for it, I feel terrible everyday when I think about it. Yet I don't know why I do it and, more importantly, I don't know how to stop. Recently things have become violent between us. We got into fight [verbal] on the street the other night--we were out, he said I was ignoring him, instead of talking I broke his glasses, kicked, punched, and bit him until he finally left me in the street. I have never been a violent person and I don't know what is wrong with me. I know I have some serious anger issues I need to look into but my question is: do you think this relationship can be repaired? We're on a hiatus right now, thinking about what we want to do. I truly love this guy, he's my best friend, one of the only people in the world I truly feel comfortable and like myself with [maybe even too much], I don't want it to end but what to you say to a guy when you've broken every promise you've ever made? I've promised [and really wanted to] change so many times but I just haven't and I don't know why. Do you think it's worth it or should I just give up, try to work on myself for a while? Sorry to go on so long, I just have a lot on my mind and I've already burdened my friends/family enough, I just want an impersonal opinion. Thank you all. Link to post Share on other sites
Mahatma Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Do him a favor, and leave him alone forever. Take up a stress-relieving hobby such as reading, or exercising. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 It can work if you are both committed to it, but you absolutely need to see a therapist about your anger and communication issues. Link to post Share on other sites
rlindzie Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 ok u see that you need help so go to a therapist. do that for 6 months then go back to him. tell him you will change a do it! if you honestly cannot control yourself you need to leave him, especially bc you beat him!! it is not fair for him to be abused. bottom line, you are abusing him and you need to get out and get help, maybe then you can match things up. sorry to hear this hope you get help your not alone and good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 I'd get professional help if I were you before you go to jail for domestic violence. He doesn't deserve that. If he takes you back without a concerted effort from you to get professional help, he's a fool. If any WOMAN had gone through what he just went through, I'd say the same thing (and so would many people on this board). Tell him that you two should take a break and go see somebody about this. Link to post Share on other sites
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