First date :)

[sparkle]

Woooohooo!

 

A really sweet guy I've known for a few weeks asked me out to dinner today. Actually, he didn't ASK me, he called me real quick and TOLD me to cancel all my plans on Friday evening because he was taking me out on a date...and told me what time to be ready. I was surprised that it was so straight-forward and demanding, but his attitude really made me laugh. So of course I had to say yes...

 

First dates always seem awkward but just as special.

 

Just one little problem I could use advice on. I don't want to get involved in a long-term relationship right now. I don't want to date a bunch of guys either, but I just want to hang out and have a good time.

 

Should I make that clear at the beginning, or should I wait until that topic comes up later? Who knows...the date could be a total flop, and this wouldn't even matter. But I'm just afraid of somehow leading him on. And I know I don't want to say something terrible like "I just want to be friends" because he might think I'm not interested at all, and that I'm telling him to get lost.

 

Well anyhow...I guess I'll find out on Friday

 

P.S. I miss reading and posting messages here, but the past couple of weeks have been hectic. I finally have a break the next few days

[Rachel]

Hey Sparkle!

 

You go girl!

 

I always enjoy your upbeat postings and have been

 

sorry to have missed them....

 

I think go on your date, have a great time. Smile,

 

flirt and have fun!

 

I wouldn't worry about the "seriousness" or

 

"casualness" factor until date 2 or 3.

 

Either way, I dont' think that topic is good for

 

a first date. At this point you need to see if there

 

is really a "spark".

 

You don't want to kill the "spark" Sparkle!

 

Have fun. You will NOT be misleading him by waiting

 

a few dates.... Anyway, he may be a one in a million.

[Ed]

Hi Sparkle,

 

Don't say anything yet. To do so would be rather presumtious. At this point neither of you knows what kind of romantic interest may develop between you, if any. Besides that, you might change your mind after getting to know him better.

 

Who knows? By the end of the night, he may have you eating out of his hand, you WILD THANG YOU!

 

I hope you have a good time:)

[BeenThere]

Woooohooo! A really sweet guy I've known for a few weeks asked me out to dinner today. Actually, he didn't ASK me, he called me real quick and TOLD me to cancel all my plans on Friday evening because he was taking me out on a date...and told me what time to be ready. I was surprised that it was so straight-forward and demanding, but his attitude really made me laugh. So of course I had to say yes... First dates always seem awkward but just as special. Just one little problem I could use advice on. I don't want to get involved in a long-term relationship right now. I don't want to date a bunch of guys either, but I just want to hang out and have a good time. Should I make that clear at the beginning, or should I wait until that topic comes up later? Who knows...the date could be a total flop, and this wouldn't even matter. But I'm just afraid of somehow leading him on. And I know I don't want to say something terrible like "I just want to be friends" because he might think I'm not interested at all, and that I'm telling him to get lost. Well anyhow...I guess I'll find out on Friday P.S. I miss reading and posting messages here, but the past couple of weeks have been hectic. I finally have a break the next few days

[Tony T]

It seldom matters what a lady says about not wanting to get into a relationship...if a guy wants to go in that direction, that's the way he will go and the lady has to deal with it.

 

Have a good time on your date but set the tone. Reasonable guys can read body language and listen to verbal and other clues to assess just where the lady is coming from. You're a very smart cookie and there are things you can say and do that will put him on notice you're not ready for anything serious without coming right out and telling him.

 

I suspect that at some point you're going to have to be pretty straightforward with this guy and let him know you aren't into anything serious right now. If it gets to that point, by all means tell him in very clear language. If he thinks that means for him to get lost...that's his loss. Some guys just don't want to be with a gal unless something's going to happen...if he's one of these, you're better off getting rid of him now than later.

 

By the time the evening's over, both of you should be very clear on where your friendship is going. Maybe you should go into this with an open mind. Who knows, right now you may not be ready for anything but maybe the friendship can grow into something over time.

 

Don't worry about any of this right now. Have a good time and be sure to get back home at a reasonable hour...at least by 9 a.m. And be sure to take a thick coat. It's going to be cold Friday night.

[yes]

Woooohooo! A really sweet guy I've known for a few weeks asked me out to dinner today. Actually, he didn't ASK me, he called me real quick and TOLD me to cancel all my plans on Friday evening because he was taking me out on a date...and told me what time to be ready. I was surprised that it was so straight-forward and demanding, but his attitude really made me laugh. So of course I had to say yes... First dates always seem awkward but just as special. Just one little problem I could use advice on. I don't want to get involved in a long-term relationship right now. I don't want to date a bunch of guys either, but I just want to hang out and have a good time. Should I make that clear at the beginning, or should I wait until that topic comes up later? Who knows...the date could be a total flop, and this wouldn't even matter. But I'm just afraid of somehow leading him on. And I know I don't want to say something terrible like "I just want to be friends" because he might think I'm not interested at all, and that I'm telling him to get lost. Well anyhow...I guess I'll find out on Friday P.S. I miss reading and posting messages here, but the past couple of weeks have been hectic. I finally have a break the next few days

[arthropod98]

i wouldn't concern myself with worrying about all this just yet. based on the way he "asked" you out, he's got some confidence, so i'd just go out and have a good time -- just like you've already heard!

Woooohooo! A really sweet guy I've known for a few weeks asked me out to dinner today. Actually, he didn't ASK me, he called me real quick and TOLD me to cancel all my plans on Friday evening because he was taking me out on a date...and told me what time to be ready. I was surprised that it was so straight-forward and demanding, but his attitude really made me laugh. So of course I had to say yes... First dates always seem awkward but just as special. Just one little problem I could use advice on. I don't want to get involved in a long-term relationship right now. I don't want to date a bunch of guys either, but I just want to hang out and have a good time. Should I make that clear at the beginning, or should I wait until that topic comes up later? Who knows...the date could be a total flop, and this wouldn't even matter. But I'm just afraid of somehow leading him on. And I know I don't want to say something terrible like "I just want to be friends" because he might think I'm not interested at all, and that I'm telling him to get lost. Well anyhow...I guess I'll find out on Friday P.S. I miss reading and posting messages here, but the past couple of weeks have been hectic. I finally have a break the next few days

[Karlee]

Just go out and have fun and have a great dinner and do not worry about the future. Meeting new people and finding out what makes them tick is interesting enough.

 

Life is full of stress without making more stressful things in your life...Just concentrate having a good time...

[girl]

It seldom matters what a lady says about not wanting to get into a relationship...if a guy wants to go in that direction, that's the way he will go and the lady has to deal with it.

In my experience this is often true. And it's also very disappointing to me as a young woman. Whatever happened to women having a say? It seems like a lot of people talk about women being liberated, but when push comes to shove, we really aren't.

[Bill]

I think the woman should have a say in this, it is her right. No guy should push a woman around. I just had to end a relationship with the girl I considered my soulmate because another guy was basically forcing her to be with him. He made her feel guilty ALL the time, and threatened that his family would not be her friend if she left him.

 

Where is she now? She's with him. I asked her what he has that I don't, and she emailed later that he doesn't have anything on me. She said she knows life would be better with me, that I could provide more, and love her more. But why does she choose him? Because she can be controlled.

 

I don't know if some girls like to be controlled or what, but I'm not into that. I'm not saying all girls like to be controlled or anything, I'm just saying this is the guy's fault because he is CONTROLLING. She says she loves me to be with me and wishes she still could, but she'd get in trouble if she saw me.

 

Girls, ditch the mean guys. There are nice guys out there that are NOT controlling. Hell I even give the TV remote right to the girl if she comes over. That girl was so much like me that she could pick a channel that I liked as well without me even saying it. But atlas, she is gone. This is because she didn't stand up for what she wanted.

 

In my experience this is often true. And it's also very disappointing to me as a young woman. Whatever happened to women having a say? It seems like a lot of people talk about women being liberated, but when push comes to shove, we really aren't.

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "Whatever happened to women having a say?"

 

I believe I was the one you quoted. What I meant was men will be unrelenting in their quest for a woman, very often ignoring her pleas not to call or contact her. Nobody has a say in that.

 

Where the woman does have control is she doesn't have to cave into stuff like this and if it gets bad enough she can call the police. Women have a lot of power. The ultimate act of sex totally depends on the consent of the woman because desire on the man's part is there 99 percent of the time. If the woman doesn't consent and the guy goes for it anyway, it's a major felony.

 

Women have a hell of a lot of say, don't ever think otherwise. They just have to learn to use it.

[velvet]

Every women is different theirs the strong and controlling, weak and controlled, whatever.

 

Im a gemini and I can go insane with both worlds.

In my experience this is often true. And it's also very disappointing to me as a young woman. Whatever happened to women having a say? It seems like a lot of people talk about women being liberated, but when push comes to shove, we really aren't.

[Ed]

How did your date go Friday night?

[Tony T]

First, sparkle may not answer your post because she spells her name with a small "s" and she may not know it's for her.

 

Second, my guess is that her date went by car because she dates mostly guys with cars...but I'll let her answer that. It ought to be interesting.

 

Of course, you realize I'm just playing with your mind...I hope. sparkle...who would use a name like that? Sounds like Tinkerbell or somebody like that.