AvaSylvian Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 I've been dating a guy who's successful, smart, nice, generous and confident. I'm shy, a single mother, poor, and a bit insecure. I have some good qualities too, but it seems like this guy should want someone better than me. I read websites that talk about what guys want and one of the things is a confident woman. I just got out of a pretty bad relationship and my confidence has gone down partly because of it. I don't understand why this guy likes me despite my situation and confidence level. I've never dated a guy as great as him and I want to keep him around, but I don't even know why he's interested in the first place! Do you think he thinks he can 'rescue' me or do you think there's a chance that he sincerely likes me for who I am? How would I be able to tell? By the way, I've been dating him for a little over a month now. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 How does he treat you? How does he address the obvious differences in your socio-economic statuses? A lot can be discerned in the "how". Why do you think he wants to "rescue" you? Back when I was single, some of the women I respected the most were those quietly making a life for themselves and their kids with very little money. I enjoyed who they were, not what they had. Does that make sense? Just remember, time reveals all. Enjoy yourself Link to post Share on other sites
Author AvaSylvian Posted August 17, 2008 Author Share Posted August 17, 2008 Thanks. I've just read that men want a confident girl, and I'm not that confident right now, but he's still intrested in dating me. He's not turned off, and I guess I expected him to be. He treats me well and he doesn't care about my income. I just don't want to end up in another unhealthy relationship. You know how there are those people who like to 'fix' people in relationships? I'm hoping he's not one of those types. I was wondering if there was a way I could tell. Link to post Share on other sites
vonerik012 Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Well, I am a man that was recently told exactly what you are stating. Please don't question anything. There is nothing wrong with you. He likes you. He is not "too good" for you. He might be thinking the same about you.. Link to post Share on other sites
JoeNewbie Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Most women "lack confidence" by nature, or at least that's how they feel. If he treats you well, I would not question your situation too much and just enjoy the ride. If he is as nice and successful as you mention, I bet he can date a lot of women but he chose to date you. Link to post Share on other sites
JohnnyBlaze Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Chances are, he's not trying to 'rescue' you. I've found over the years that 'rescuing' is predominantly a female thing. Guys aren't nearly as interested in pet projects as you think we are. If he's interested in you, he's interested in what you already are, not a Utopian dream of what you might one day become. Like Joe and Vonerik said, don't worry about it; just enjoy it! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 You know how there are those people who like to 'fix' people in relationships? I'm hoping he's not one of those types. I was wondering if there was a way I could tell. One example would be how he handles things that your circumstances will inevitably bring up. Does/will he tend to take over or does/will he trust and value your skills and determination? It'll be a feeling you'll have in the interaction. Unless you share your "lack of confidence" with him, he likely will be largely unaware, as men generally don't delve as much into the nuances of personality and emotion as women do. What signs do you think he sees where you appear to lack confidence? I'm a rare exception to the otherwise correct rules the other guys have provided here. You'll likely never run into anyone like me, so follow their advice Link to post Share on other sites
almost famous Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 OK get over this attitude, you are just as good as he is and you deserve to be happy. If you project these feelings of you not being good enough for him, he will start to believe it himself. You are awesome, don't forget that. You are the prize. Link to post Share on other sites
Mahatma Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 The only reason you are asking this is because you aren't confident that you can keep him. Quit worrying and realize he likes you for you. Link to post Share on other sites
CommitmentPhobe Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Breakup with him and find a loser. Link to post Share on other sites
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