Memories&Dust Posted June 1, 2008 Share Posted June 1, 2008 ... But I am unable to talk to my other half about because they are having a hard time at the minute. Long story short, their dog is dying. They are extremely attached to their dog and it's been just them and the dog for many years now, I think they've only lived with another partner for a year, if that, in their 30+ years. The dog started dying in Feb, and is declining day by day. My other half has good days and bad days when dealing with it. We had a gap of not seeing each other for 5 weeks due to various things, and they didn't really want to see me on the 6th week because they were concerned that I wouldn't be able to deal with their state of mind... I convinced them I wanted to come down, and I looked after them and the dog the entire weekend, and I did the same last weekend too. We had a lovely time, we always do when we're together. However, I'm struggling because none of my emotional needs are being met and they haven't been met since early March. I'm trying to put the other person first during this tough time, but I'm the one having to push to see them, and I don't cope well with that, having to fight to see the person who supposedly loves me. They can be incredibly emotionally distant, and the only way I can deal with that these days is my distancing myself when we're apart. But there has been no plans made to see each other, no plans to even speak with each other on the phone. We send each other a few texts each day, but I often feel that when we're apart I'm not in a relationship. The thing is, they are volatile at the minute, emotionally drained and liable to completely lose it with me if I speak up about how I'm feeling. Everytime we have an upset, firstly I end up feeling like it's my fault, and secondly like a black mark is against my name. I try very hard to be there for my partner, but I do find their emotional distance hard to swallow and feel like I have to protect myself. Also, it lets the other things that I ignore seep back in. It's a same sex relationship thats been going on for 18 months now, but only one other in their life knows about me, and I was thinking (perhaps slightly morbidly) that if something awful were to happen to them I wouldn't know about it, nor how to find out.... It's like I actually don't exist in their life. Whenever they blog, or write about their life, they very rarely mention me. It's beginning to hurt... Anyway, how do I stop feeling like this? Do I just try and wait it out till their dog dies and hope that things improve? Am I being selfish? Do I speak up and take the consequences? I'm scared that I might seek emotion support elsewhere, and I don't want to hurt my partner Thanks for your time. M&D Link to post Share on other sites
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