beezwax Posted February 16, 2008 Share Posted February 16, 2008 Obviously it depends on the circumstances... but let's say that a girl is attracted to you enough to readily agree to a date, and you manage to be somewhat charming on the date and not a total clod......... would it increase your chances of becoming intimate later to just take her home after the first date "like a gentleman"? or should you do away with formalities and ask her over. notice i'm not talking about sex, just hanging out and probably some intimacy. what do people on this board think? thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 16, 2008 Share Posted February 16, 2008 Obviously it depends on the circumstances... but let's say that a girl is attracted to you enough to readily agree to a date, and you manage to be somewhat charming on the date and not a total clod......... would it increase your chances of becoming intimate later to just take her home after the first date "like a gentleman"? or should you do away with formalities and ask her over. notice i'm not talking about sex, just hanging out and probably some intimacy. what do people on this board think? thanks You're always much better off taking it a bit slow if the lady seems like someone you want to be around a while. Yep, there are females that'll go straight home with you on the first date but they won't feel great about it later on. You'll go much farther with the ladies if you save taking them to your place until after a few dates. You really have to play it by ear. There are some chicks who would not feel comfortable going to a guy's place for a good while. You have to put yourself in their place. If a guy asks a female to his place on a first date, it's swirling around in her mind that he intends to make a serious pass at doing the deed...in her mind. Long term, you probably wouldn't want a girl who would be that quick to snap over to your place for a roll in the hay...or even some lesser intimacy. What's the point of intimacy with someone you hardly know? Link to post Share on other sites
Author beezwax Posted February 16, 2008 Author Share Posted February 16, 2008 ok thanks man. i don't have much experience with dating people i don't know so i appreciate it. by the way, in this case i get the impression the girl is somewhat loose. she is bi, i hit her up on myspace and she gave me her number right away, she jokes about how she is kind of loose on her myspace, etc. but i think you're right, i'll still have better chances if i play it cool and not force things. there is a saying (paraphrasing here), treat a lady like a whore and a whore like a lady and you'll be successful every time. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted February 16, 2008 Share Posted February 16, 2008 Totally depends on the situation. I went on a date a week ago, where I had her show up at my house so we could drive together. When she arrived I brought her in for just a few minutes so she could see it and have a look around. Then I drove. Dinner, then a drink, then a movie at my house. We cuddled on the couch and kissed. No big deal. She laid down the law when I went for the bra strap though, lol. So I backed off and we went back to cuddling. It was a very nice evening. If the feeling is right, it's no big deal, but I would say having her over before you guys go out, even if only for a minute, is a good idea so that your place isn't some unknown entity to her. The key is not to pressure her, no matter what. Link to post Share on other sites
Author beezwax Posted February 16, 2008 Author Share Posted February 16, 2008 by the way, I would like to clarify that I was just trying to describe the situation as best I could, like you would if you were approaching a doctor for advice. I am not really just out for sex, I would like to find a girlfriend. Please don't anyone bash me like they did on another site just for saying I thought a woman was promiscuous. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted February 16, 2008 Share Posted February 16, 2008 I didn't say that at all. I got that from your post, actually, that you just wanted to spend some time, and were afraid that asking her back to your place would make her think that's all you were out for. I didn't get that impression at all. You're fine. I'm not "just out for sex" either. If I don't like the girl I won't spend time with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted February 16, 2008 Share Posted February 16, 2008 What's the rush? If a guy tries to get me back to his place on date #1, then I am instantly turned off, as I assume he is only trying to get into my pants. And here's a newsflash for ya. As a guy, there isn't much you can do to "increase your chances for future intimacy". lol. Sex happens when a woman decides it will, so rushing her on this point will backfire on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted February 16, 2008 Share Posted February 16, 2008 What's the rush? If a guy tries to get me back to his place on date #1, then I am instantly turned off, as I assume he is only trying to get into my pants. And here's a newsflash for ya. As a guy, there isn't much you can do to "increase your chances for future intimacy". lol. Sex happens when a woman decides it will, so rushing her on this point will backfire on you. What about the scenario I described, Jilly Bean? Would that weird you out? I just wanted to spend more time with her, and there's only so much to do. I like the movie at home because it's more intimate and you can stop, pause, talk, make fun, whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted February 16, 2008 Share Posted February 16, 2008 What about the scenario I described, Jilly Bean? Would that weird you out? I just wanted to spend more time with her, and there's only so much to do. I like the movie at home because it's more intimate and you can stop, pause, talk, make fun, whatever. Well, you said yourself that you went for the bra strap and she smacked you down, so that pretty much illustrates my point. That if a guy takes you back to his place, he's looking for some booty. And THAT is a turn-off on a first date. Would I have been weirded out? No. Upset and somewhat turned off? Yep. Movie at home is great - just not for a first date. For me, a first date is a chance to gauge a guys respect level for me. If hes so in a rush to get me back to his place, then I feel less respected, and more that its all about him seeing how quickly he can put the moves on me. Like I said earlier - what is the rush??? That's what they made second dates for. Link to post Share on other sites
Phateless Posted February 16, 2008 Share Posted February 16, 2008 Well, you said yourself that you went for the bra strap and she smacked you down, so that pretty much illustrates my point. That if a guy takes you back to his place, he's looking for some booty. And THAT is a turn-off on a first date. Would I have been weirded out? No. Upset and somewhat turned off? Yep. Movie at home is great - just not for a first date. For me, a first date is a chance to gauge a guys respect level for me. If hes so in a rush to get me back to his place, then I feel less respected, and more that its all about him seeing how quickly he can put the moves on me. Like I said earlier - what is the rush??? That's what they made second dates for. True. We were kissing for a while before I went for the bra strap because I could just tell that she was a slow mover, and when she stopped me I was totally chill about it. Like I said, that wasn't my mission at all, but I figured I would see what happened. Btw, she was only in town for the weekend, so it's not like I could just reschedule more time together 3 days later. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts