Girlfriend issues

[GoneWithTheWind]

Hi all! Basically my girlfriend and I has been together for 2 months so far and I will say things have went pretty well. We went to town together, met up for study sessions and have had great private moments initially, etc.

 

Lately, things aren't going well for me. She hasn't picked up calls from me for this whole week (I usually call her at night) with the reason that she's tired. That's still okay with me since she has a tight schedule this week with a performance that ended 2 days ago. She shouldn't be that tired yesterday because all she did was to catch a movie with her girlfriends, but nonetheless she didn't seem to notice/care that she hasn't exchanged a word with me since Sunday.

 

However, she's still texting (sending me text messages) me from her cell phone like what we have been doing since late March. (She didn't reply my text yesterday night and I was hesitating about whether to call her or not. Neither happened anyway.)

 

I asked her out this morning (It's night now in my area by the way) through text since she has nothing on that I know of, and told her that I need to discuss some issues regarding our relationship, and she procrastinated. The next thing I know, she was home already. So other than texting each other, I haven't talked to her or went out with her for one week, although we could have, and even though I had initiated all these things.

 

I want to ask whether I am being too sensitive here. (Is it normal for a girl to behave like this?) And if I am not being too sensitive, what should I do now? Should I continue ignoring her text like what I have been doing for the past 3 hours or should I call her and demand an explanation for the cold treatment? (Ditching is not an option) And if possible, can I have some suggestions on what could have caused this? It's probably not pms because she never has had any drastic moodswing before, and she admitted to that too.

[T-town]

If it were me id stop calling her and stop texting her for a few days, i should specify i would stop initiating calls and texts. Right now every text and phone call u make is prolly just annoying her. There is no telling why she is being cold...maybe she feels smoothered, maybe she just isn't feeling great about ur relationship and she doesn't know how to handle it. She will talk to you when she is ready. And dont sit around waiting for her to call, hang out with ur friends: go to they gym, bar, whatever. Oh and when u talk to her about this dont ask her if its pms!

[GoneWithTheWind]

I probably talk to her about it first. Yea, I am still hanging out with my friends and going to the gym, blahblah. I learnt my lesson before (the hard way) not to give up my daily routines to suit a girl's needs or things like that, alter them maybe, but definitely not risking the loss of my friends or things like that.

 

Thanks for the suggestion! I did try to stop texting her but my thoughts will just wander off to her in lessons and will either consciously or subconsciously text her. I don't know how to stop that. =P.

[oppath]

If you push her, she will run away for sure, if she's not already doing that. Hate to be blunt with you, but consistency is important.

 

I pushed with my last ex pretty severely when she acted all distant, and it is quite possible it lead to the breakup, though something did happen when she acted distant (her ex asked for her back and essentially proposed and she didn't tell me about this so she had a huge contribution to me pushing).

 

Don't say "we need to talk about our relationship" etc. That's not going to help things. However, if she was supposed to call you and didn't, absolutely say "I was really disappointed that you didn't call when you told me you would." The feeling is expressed -- disappointment -- and you tell her why, her behavior.

 

Only she knows what is going on, but you are right to notice her change in behavior. Good for you. You can't be a doormat and ignore it, but you can't push. This early in the game, all you can really do is give her a little space, and if she doesn't come around and return to her normal behavior. BREAK UP WITH HER. Seriously, you always have to be willing to walk away. Always. One of the problems that many people have in relationships is that they are unwilling to do this, become doormats or don't ask for what they want, and ultimately feel victimized and hurt. Give her 3 days or so, and if she's not making plans to be with you, call her and break it off.

[GoneWithTheWind]

Thanks for the doormat analogy. It did help, and I don't intend to be one either. It happened to my last but definitely not this time.

 

Don't say "we need to talk about our relationship" etc. That's not going to help things. However, if she was supposed to call you and didn't, absolutely say "I was really disappointed that you didn't call when you told me you would." The feeling is expressed -- disappointment -- and you tell her why, her behavior.

 

I've already done the first part. I think it made things worse. Her text now has a darker, gloomier tone and it's either she's really affected by it or she wants me to notice something. I asked her if she's okay but she said she is though. Highly possible she's lying.

 

Give her 3 days or so, and if she's not making plans to be with you, call her and break it off.

 

I don't believe that's true. Things need to be ironed out, but she probably doesn't want to break. It'll make things easier for me but worse for her imo. I still don't have much of a solution now, gah.