johnny236 Posted March 30, 2007 Share Posted March 30, 2007 Ok, so I'm looking for some advice, or help in making sense of things... let me tell my story: I was married for 5 years, and separated last year after having been cheated on at various times over the 5 years. For me, the marriage was over early in the year, even though we didn't "separate" until October. I put quotes there because we still live together (until Sunday) due to financial constraints. I started going on a dating site in December, and got in contact with someone I was really interested in. We met on New Years Eve and had the time of our lives. We were almost inseparable for the next couple of weeks, then reality started to kick in. I was carpooling with wife and MiL to save money, and I started a bad pattern of only seeing her when I didn't have home commitments, and having to cancel dates because of home things (like getting the house ready to sell etc.). All through this we kept in constant contact and saw each other a few times a week... we talked about our future, how crazy we were about each other etc... Oh, I need to mention that I told her my marital situation on NYE and she said she would wait, as long as I knew that I was emotionally available... which I was/am. To make an even longer story short, things started to get more tense between us, because I wasn't getting out of the house fast enough and not seeing her enough. Eventually she told me that we had to take a break so I can get my stuff in order, which I completely understood... and also said that she was all for revisiting the relationship once I was out on my own. Since then (about a month ago), she's been pretty erratic in her attitude towards us, at times saying she doesn't know if she's able to forget the bad things that were happening and move on, and then saying that she thinks it's still possible, and that "if it happens, it happens". We've hung out a bit over the last week... had dinner and a beer the other day, and we had a great time, it was like it was before, minus the bf/gf affection. Then the next 2 days she doesn't return my phone call or emails. I'm moving this weekend, so that's the first step in being independent, and then within 2 months the house will have been sold and I'll be completely on my own financially too. I get so worked up over this relationship because I saw the incredible chemistry we had when we first met, and it makes me sad that she pretty much forgot all that. Well, not completely, because she's left the door open, but has made no guarantees about the future. Am I making too much of this? Should I just chill out and let things happen? I know that I probably shouldn't have been seeking out a gf when I was still living with my wife... I own that issue, and realize that it was the cause of our problems in the first place... but I still can't get past the incredible chemistry and attraction we had. She says there are still feelings there, but she says it's overshadowed by the bad things that happened. I really want it to work out, because she's an incredible girl... my "dream girl". Which makes this even harder. Help! johnny236 Link to post Share on other sites
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