Do I have a right to be angry over this?

[Vertex]

Background info: I don't get along with my mother/brother at all. I go to college on the east coast. Home is on west coast. I have a girlfriend who goes to the same school, and she lives in China. We have a mutual friend who lives near my dorm.

 

Alright so for Christmas break my girlfriend wanted to bring me back to China with her because it'd be very fun and exciting (we've become a bit bored of campus activities). However, tickets to China are expensive, and her family is also taking a separate mini-vacation for Christmas (my girlfriend's family is quite wealthy).

 

So, I am a student (20 yrs old), but also a teacher of standardized tests who has sold services in the past for a fairly high rate (for instance, I taught an SAT class to many students and brought scores up from like 1550 to 2100+ out of 2400). So, the mother of my girlfriend agreed to buy my ticket to China if I'd teach my girlfriend's sister how to do well on such tests. I thought it was a fair trade. I agreed.

 

I told my mother I would be going to China for XMas most likely. My mother hates buying tickets so late in the game (she has to do in months in advance to get cheap rates), so she said ok, but be certain of this because I will not buy your ticket later. I asked my girlfriend/her mom again and she said yes, all is well. I also cannot really afford to buy my own ticket at this point in time because I have large expenses (I pay for my own tuition and food so my bank account fluctuates rapidly. I receive no money outside of my own work efforts).

 

Regardless, my girlfriend's mother has still not purchased a ticket for me. She says nothing is available but my girlfriend and I checked and there's all sorts of stuff open. I try to get my girlfriend to talk to her mom and she seems to be taking her time in getting things done. I cannot just go back to my mom and get a ticket back home at this point and I cannot afford to buy my own ticket. I cannot stay on campus because they kick everyone off during the winter break.

 

I've been trying to convince my girlfriend's mom to let me come along... now a mutual friend wants to go to China too and also wants to stay at my girlfriend's place. It really upsets me that my girlfriend would even consider this. I've been trying to get her to talk to her mom about everything but she's waiting till the last minute and it's not even guaranteed for me yet. This random dude who I don't particularly care for suddenly wants to come and all of a sudden my girlfriend drops everything to ask her mother about it. They only have one guest room at her house which means if this other dude comes along, there will be no room and we'd both have to probably get a hotel somewhere. And if there's no guarantee that she'll buy my ticket, that means I'd have to spend a crapload of my own money to stay in a hotel with someone that I don't like that ISN'T my girlfriend. There isn't even any guarantee that I'll be able to go now, period, however. I hope I've explained the scenario clearly enough.

 

I feel like I am not being treated as a boyfriend. I feel like I'm being put second to someone else's whims. Am I being selfish? I already changed my plans to rely on this promise and now they seem to be changing their positions. I'll have nowhere else to go if I cannot go to China for Christmas. I don't know what to do.

[someone2]

I feel like I am not being treated as a boyfriend.

 

I am sorry, but I can't see how this is your gf's fault at all. She didn't do anything wrong. It could be her mother's fault, though.

 

I know it can be frustrating, and I don't know what you should do, but don't let your frustration affect your judgement.

[Vertex]

My main beef with my gf is that she's actually considering bringing this other dude along knowing she only has one guest room. It'd mean probably NEITHER of us would stay there.

[konfuzd]

My main beef with my gf is that she's actually considering bringing this other dude along knowing she only has one guest room. It'd mean probably NEITHER of us would stay there.

 

You are getting all upset over "probably". The fact is, there is one guest room, and since you were "probably" the first one who was invited, you should be entitled to the room.

 

all of a sudden my girlfriend drops everything to ask her mother about it.

 

How did she "drop everything"? She wants to see her friend as well as you. If he is a "mutual friend" how is it that you don't care much for him? Is there not a couch, or a floor that he could sleep on?

 

I would call your girlfriend and tell her that there really is not much time left, you need to have some plans set in stone. If her mother isn't prepared to have a flight booked by the end of the week, you will have to start thinking about other arrangements. Maybe you could ask your girlfriend to book the flight with her mom's credit card.

 

If things don't work out with going to China, I'm sure your mother will come to the rescue, That's what mom's do. I know she doesn't like the idea of booking a flight last minute, but is she really going to just leave you stranded?

[Green]

maybe your gf doesnt like you anymore? who is this guy who shes bringing along even though this could mean so many more expenses for you?

[jerbear]

maybe your gf doesnt like you anymore? who is this guy who shes bringing along even though this could mean so many more expenses for you?

 

I have to second this one. Maybe not like you anymore.

 

Mutual friend asian? Her mother maybe a little traditional. Also a change of heart once back home.

 

Where in China are you talking about? Hong Kong, Shanghai some funky place? Each province has it's own quirks.

 

It is not as simple as a couch compared to those in the states, rooms and homes in asian countries are a little bit constrained. Having a credit card in asia is not an easy task compared to getting one in the US.

 

Parents don't always bail kids out on trips. It is not that he is there and can't get back.