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Obsessive friends?


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I'm having a problem with one of my friends and I would like some advice. I sometimes hang out with a group of peole from HS, none of which I feel close to other than that we went to the same school for many years. However, none of them call me to hang out (not that I care) except for one guy that acts as the social organizer. while we should be trying to focus on our futures, get jobs, etc, it seems like these people are just interested in going out EVERY night and doing some inane activity -- going to nasty bars, bowling, or just watching movies together and blowing time. believe me, i've done my fair share of hanging out with these people and if you do it night after night, you realize you have NOTHING to say to eachother after awhile and it just leaves you feeling emtpy and bored. However, these people insist on going out every night and wasting time, and ALWAYS call me. I say "Oh, I can't", give some excuse, whatever but they just can't take no for an answer and it results in them calling me over and over again to the point where it feels like stalking or something. the main caller also acts like i'm doing some huge disservice to him by not hanging out with him, even though i have family in town at the moment...he asks me to REARRANGE my schedule so that i can go out with them later. Now, don't get me wrong. it's great to have people that want to hang out with you and call you, but at some point it just becomes way too much and i feel suffocated. I don't want to burn any bridges, but It just seems like they can't take a hint. I think saying "I don't want to hang out with you EVERY night" is too personal and mean, but i'm seriously running out of excuess. And the times when I can just not pick up the phone are great (when my parents aren't home because they always pick it up thus i have to speak to them)...but it just means they'll call back in 1/2 an hour or an hour. I don't mean to come off like a pompous bitch, but I'm sure EVERYONE can understand the need to have some "time alone" or spend your evenings doing something other than just kill time...

any advice would be appreciated.

Sorry that it's so long.

Jess

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Sounds like the same crowd of friends I have left over from high school. They are engaging in the same kinds of activities, and I'm finding it unfulfilling like you. I have been telling them the truth....without being too direct. Like..."no, I'm going to stay home and (whatever) tonight". Or, I don't really like that bar, or I'd rather not go bowling, or I'm going to do this or that other thing, or I'm tired, or hungry, or the place is too far, or whatever my deal might be. I find it interesting that they persist in calling you....my friends back off totally. In fact. I'm really trying to find a new crowd, so it's not a bad thing.

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