Frustrated By A Friend...

[Des]

Let me start by saying that I'm not sure if this is even the right place to post this because the majority of posts seem to be more about relationships than friendships... But here it goes anyway.

 

I have this friend, who I'd like to think of as a good friend. I met him back in October of 2005. So we've been friends for about 8 months or so. In the beginning, like all of my other friendships, it started off well. At first we quickly realized we both had a strong liking for music, so we'd play music together and hang out. Soon after I joined his band as the drummer, and since then the band has progressed a lot, and changed a lot. So basically we either hear from each other or see each other almost everyday. That's how it's been since the beginning. But I never realized how much of a jerk he is until now. It seems to be getting worse as time goes on.

 

Now that I think about it, he's had some of these problems since the start, they just seemed to have worsened over time. It's gotten really bad lately, I mean we argue all the time it seems, and I think he likes it... I think he likes to argue for the sake of doing it. It's insane really, I've realized how bossy, immature and egotistical he is... By bossy, I mean how he always expects you'll do something for him, or have something go his way, and if it doesn't he gets all disapointed, and tries to make me look like the bad guy, someone who lets people down all the time. But that's not even what really gets to me... It's the immaturity factor. He is, without a doubt the most immature person I have met this far in my life. I mean, sure he's 15 (going to be 16 in September) and I'm 17 now. But he's far too immature, even for a 15 year old... It's not so much of him acting immature and doing immature things. His immaturity ties in with his ego, and his love for complicating, and arguing about things...

 

I just don't understand why he is the way he is... He'll argue about anything, anywhere. Most of the time, I don't even know why I bother telling him anything, because I know he'll cut in and bs his way in to prooving me wrong somehow. He loves to pump the convorsation full of false information. He'll talk about something he knows nothing about. But that's just it, he thinks he knows it all... He thinks he knows everything, and he's always right... never wrong. His experiences are the only valid ones, he's thoughts are the only mattering ones, he's just so full of himself it makes me sick. I won't even remotely be chalenging him in any way, when he'll feel it necessary to tell me what he has that's better than mine, the way he does something that's better than the way I do it, and what he does better than I do, it's never hard for him to find everything that's wrong with me. But he's afriad to admit his flaws, and takes great offense to any who dare say he has one. He's like this so much it's hard to hold back from arguing with him, or even thoughts of giving him a deserved punch in the face... It really gets to me that much sometimes... Worst of all, he thinks I care about his critical views of me, when really, I'm just tired of always hearing it. I guess it builds his self-esteem to find mistakes in everyone else... Because he does it not only to me, but to most his friends it seems, well, the ones that will have it from him. All I can guess is that he always feels challanged, or threated... maybe he's just not happy with himself, and so he critisizes everyone and everything else... But I just don't know. That's why I came here. I don't understand why he's this way, but I hope he can get over himself soon, and we can all get on with our lives...

 

I really like to think of myself as a nice person. I really don't like to argue, but he likes to bring me down. He likes to make me think there's something wrong with me, but I think the real problem is him. I think we've all had a friend like this before, I know I have to some degree in the past, but they were never this bad. I really don't understand why he's this way, and what I can do to get the message across to him that no one is competting with him, it's ok to be wrong, or not be the very best at everything, and not know everything there is to know. How can I remove myself from this, and not lower myself down to his standards all the time. I'm tired of being portrayed as the bad guy with him, when he's the one with the problem. I'm just sick of it all. I think he needs to grow up or something soon, because I won't be able to take it much longer. I know for a fact one of these days, somebody whether it be me, one of his other friends, or just someone from school one day is going to decide they aren't going to take his crap anymore, and there is going to be a fight. After all, he thinks he can "take" anyone anyway... we'll have to see about that. But in closing, I'd like to say that I hope it doesn't come down to that, I hope he can pull himself together before that has a chance to happen....

 

Any advice is greatly appreciated...

[Poboy]

he is 15 and boys at that age can be immature. Sounds like he doesnt care of other people emotions and has a careless attitude towards things.

If you dont enjoy his company , its time to leave. His attitude can lead to changes in yours too... its not worth it. Find better company to hang out with.