Crazy ex roommate

[blind_otter]

I had a roommate last year. It was a messed up situation. Now that I'm in AA and in recovery it looks even worse.

 

She was the exgirlfriend of my dealer. She was addicted in a major way, no job, supported on and off by various dudes and her parents. For a while she would pay me in drugs. When I refused to accept drugs, she just stopped paying me at all. When her parents rent check bounced, I told her that she needed to find a way to reconcile the debt. Another month and another month's rent was due, with no money in sight. She never did pay me, so I told her to leave and call me when she got it together enough to pay me back, even a portion of the money or a payment plan.

 

She also stole one of the tires and rims off my car! I assume it was for drugs. She was also taking money from my purse, $10 or $20 here and there.

 

She agreed to stay with friends until she had a job and then I said we could discuss future arrangements. She dipped without taking much of anything. A few weeks later she broke into my house through a window to get some random stuff, clothes and makeup mainly. I don't know why, I told her when she left to call me and let me know when she wanted the rest of her things.

 

I hadn't heard from her in months - since before thanksgiving. She left a lot of stuff here, TV, Computer, clothes, pictures...

 

She called late night a few days ago, EXTREMELY coked up. I was in the shower, she left an unintelligible message. She called my exboyfriend, thinking he and I were still together, and tried to flirt with him into letting her into my house. He doesn't have a key any more, he called me to tell me to lock my doors. She didn't have any money but claimed that she was going to "eventually" and that "she had a job lined up at a bar".

 

Apparently she has gone on a downward slide since I saw her. She is smoking crack. I'm friends with a guy she's staying with and he's kicking her out because in the past 2 months he's developed a bad coke problem, too, with her staying there. She does it every day, pretty much. If she's not doing it she's trying to get it, or passed out.

 

I don't want to deal with it any more. I'll never get the money she owes me, now over $1000.

 

Is there a time limit to how long I have to store her stuff? Can I sell at least the TV and the computer to recoup my losses?

 

I'm not comfortable with her coming over because she is always coked up and since she has no car (she sold her car) she gets rides from questionable people.

 

I figure I could just box up her stuff and put it on the driveway or something and tell her to pick it up while I'm there.

 

I have to deal with the consequences of my recent addiction issues. I just don't know HOW. It's a stupid situation that a person who wasn't a cokehead would probably never get into...I'm in recovery now, but I still have to deal with these people...

[Lonestar]

What a sad life your ex roommate is living. Very sad, but, otter, I'm so glad you're in AA now. Addiction is horrible. I would sell the TV and computer. She owes you money and there's no reason for you to get some of it back. As far as her things, I would pack them up and leave them with someone somewhere who can get them to her. If she never bothers to pick them up, it's her problem.

 

Sounds like her downward spirals is going to end up in death. How old is she?

[933KJL]

Be careful on selling her stuff. It is not yours. That is akin to someone selling your car because you did not pay for your groceries.

 

I would consult a legal aid or an attorney and see what the California (am I right there BO?) laws say. My guess would be that you need to notify her and have proof (certified letter with a signature) that you advised her and she did not respond.

 

Write the letter tell her that you are going to be boxing up her things which can be picked up upon her presenting a cashiers check for the amount owed by a certain date. If that does not happen (again in the same letter) advise that you will sell her abandoned property to settle the debt. You may be required to give her money if it sells for more than the debt.

 

But I would run it past an attorney first.

[blind_otter]

Be careful on selling her stuff. It is not yours. That is akin to someone selling your car because you did not pay for your groceries.

 

What?! How is this comparable to someone selling my car for groceries? She didn't pay rent, and stole cash from my wallet on a regular basis.

 

She's 22. It is really sad. There's no way her property would settle for more than the debt. I'll be lucky to get a couple hundred bucks...mostly it's just clothes and costume jewelry. The computer is 4 years old, the TV is like 32 inches, an ancient one..now you can get flatscreens for so cheap, the pawn shop won't give more than 50-100 bucks for TVs like that.

 

She never signed a lease with me. It's my house, and legally, for all intents and purposes, she was a houseguest.

[blind_otter]

Also, she has no address, no car, no telephone in her name, no cellphone....

 

How would I notify her? I don't even know how to get a hold of her. I just leave messages with people she does drugs with, mutual friends that I don't associate with any more.

 

If I consult an attorney that will be even MORE money I spend on this ridiculous situation.

[Lonestar]

You don't need to consult an attorney. I highly doubt she's going to take you to court. She's too far gone. I'm not sure 933JKL understands that.

[933KJL]

Just suggesting that you CYA. I would send a certified letter to her last known address and if it comes back to you keep it. You don't want her coming to you saying you stole her stuff without any backup.