cosmogal Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 Having some trouble here... my friend, who's single, huffs and puffs whenever I make weekend plans with my fiance. Recently, my fiance has been working 7 days a week for the past 6 weeks and we really never spent any time together. Not to mention, we don't live together. Every weekend night I have spent with her basically. And now that I mentioned I was spending Fri & Sat w/him for the first time in 6 weeks, she got upset. Eventhough I offered to hang out with her Thurs, Sun or next weekend, she was still steaming. This is such a routine with her. I see my fiance 1-2 days a week tops. Usually what I'll do is spend a weekend night going out w/him and one with her (on a regular basis)She'll start by screaming at me saying how I'm gonna marry him and see him 24/7 and that I'm to dependent & needy with him, & I should be getting out now and having as much fun before I get married. She's my good friend, but she's quite selfish at times with this. There have been rare occasions where my fiance & I spend sometimes 3 days together, and I find myself lying to her regarding my whereabouts since in the past, she will give me an attitude about it. I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells. Yet, in the past, when she has a bf, she magically disappears. She's even cancelled plans w/me on numerous occassions when she's in a relationship! I actually spend more time with her than I do with him! I see her 3X a week!(just venting here!) So my question is, how do I approach her with this? How do I tell her in a nice way, my fiance wants to spend some time together once in a while? Six weeks and not one night of going out or really having anything to do with each other is a long time. She doesn't seem to understand this. Link to post Share on other sites
jhurtinct Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 You need to expain to your friend the your soon to be husband is a very important part of your life and will soon be your family, she is probably just having a hard time she is so used to having you around. You need to worry about your relationship first and if she is a good friend she will want you happy and understand. Yrs back my best friend was very simuliar, I always had to be w/her and go out and when I first met and started dating my bf she would make comments and such, I just let whatever happened happen and spent time with her still just not as often. I figured she would understand someday, and do you know now she has been married for 2 1/2 yrs and never goes out without her husband, never just a girls night out. I still don't say anything I just think back and laugh to myself and I'm glad she is finally happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cosmogal Posted November 3, 2005 Author Share Posted November 3, 2005 You need to expain to your friend the your soon to be husband is a very important part of your life and will soon be your family, she is probably just having a hard time she is so used to having you around. You need to worry about your relationship first and if she is a good friend she will want you happy and understand. I will do explain to her again. Last time, we had a fight about that though (she's kind of impossible to deal with). This happened when a friend of her had a party and invited her&date (which she didn't have at the time) and me & my fiance. When she found out I was coming with him and riding in the same car with him...she BLASTED my ear out. It was bizarre too. She was screaming stuff like, "why aren't we going together and you can just meet up with **** at the party?!" "why do you have to go with him, I thought we were going together!" It was just plain odd. Then when I told her, "well, he's my fiance and will be my husband soon, doesn't it look kind of weird if he comes in the door alone and I come in with you later on?" Then she was complaining, "oh, well, he's your FIANCE, so I guess when you're married, I'll REALLY BE NOTHING THEN!" It was SOOO ridiculous. She a tough one to approach. She wont take no for an answer and if you don't go along with it, she blows you off. It really sucks! But thanks for your advice, it was very helpful. Good luck to you Link to post Share on other sites
jhurtinct Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 cosmo- just be firm with her and let her know its her that will lose if she doesn't lighten up a bit (I can't see you or your soon to be hubby dealing for long) maybe she has deeper issues she should talk to someone about/ i;m sorry to hear, it does sound pretty bizarre to me a friend would be so posessive of another friend when it comes to a SO other, sounds like your in a tough spot and I really wish you luck. Just put you and your best interests first. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cosmogal Posted November 4, 2005 Author Share Posted November 4, 2005 okay...thanks for your advice! Link to post Share on other sites
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