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Friend in a foreign country asked for money


Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

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Old 1st April 2019, 11:42 AM   #16
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How much did she ask, if you donít mind sharing?
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Old 1st April 2019, 5:24 PM   #17
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How much did she ask, if you donít mind sharing?
Don't want to say the exact amount, but it was between $2,000 and $5,000
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Old 1st April 2019, 5:32 PM   #18
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That would have been just the beginning.
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Old 1st April 2019, 6:26 PM   #19
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Definitely not loaning her the money

After talking to my close friends/family as well as reading the responses here nearly everyone agrees loaning her money would be a mistake. I just sent her an email letting her know I'm not going to be able to do it.
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Old 1st April 2019, 11:08 PM   #20
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A rule that has served me well with loaning friends money is to never loan an amount more than you would gift them. If they donít pay you back it is no big deal.
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Old 2nd April 2019, 5:08 PM   #21
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I am intrigued all the response on this are such an emphactic NO!


It shows people too do not like giving money away!


Lol I don't know, my gut reaction would be sure what the hell give her the money this time and see how it goes,


if she is a good friend, does it really matter all that much if she does not repay you! money is money at the end of the day,
there are a lot more important things


then again I am probably a bit of a softie at heart!

Last edited by Foxhall; 2nd April 2019 at 5:11 PM..
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Old 3rd April 2019, 12:13 PM   #22
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I must say, I am intrigued by this thread. I guess because I have been there and done that. On the one hand, it's hard to part with money, especially considering that it, in all likelihood, will not be coming back. But, on the other hand, it is good to help someone out, if you can afford it. And, if they are not going to become enabled by it. I've sent someone money before, and I did it, knowing that it was no loan by any stretch of the imagination. As someone posted already, this would only be the beginning. There would always be something coming up where she needs money. And more money. And more money. And the cycle just goes on and on and on. And not because she is a bad person, necessarily, but because, eventually, "loaning" someone money just becomes enabling them.

When I did this, all it did was enable the person. They to where they felt like all they needed to do was was hit me up, and hold their hand out. Although, not in so many words, they were basically saying "No need to worry. Let ole Popeye go to work and kill himself, and when he gets paid, I'll just take my cut. What? Me work? Ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Good one!". And why should they get a job and actually earn money when they had a pushover like me just a phone call away? It's a much easier way to get money than busting your tail at a job.

Also, it's a red flag that her husband seemingly has no issue with her asking some guy (that only she knows) for money. He could be one of those guys who will put their wives out there to try and sweet talk money out of others. I knew a young woman many years ago. She was in her late 20's married, and had kids, and hubby just prostituted her out. It was so sad. All because he did not want to work.

You made the right call in saying no. I wish I had been as strong as you.
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Old 3rd April 2019, 1:34 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Foxhall View Post
I am intrigued all the response on this are such an emphactic NO!


It shows people too do not like giving money away!


Lol I don't know, my gut reaction would be sure what the hell give her the money this time and see how it goes,


if she is a good friend, does it really matter all that much if she does not repay you! money is money at the end of the day,
there are a lot more important things


then again I am probably a bit of a softie at heart!
This is someone he really barely knows. Met her a few times IRL and over 3 years have had contact just through social media. She is married and has kids. Would YOU give thousands of dollars to someone you haven't seen in years and only met less than handful of times in your life?

Being a softie is one thing, being taken advantage of is another.

Max you did the right thing by not giving her money. It opens the door to more asking in the future.
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Old 3rd April 2019, 4:07 PM   #24
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This is someone he really barely knows. Met her a few times IRL and over 3 years have had contact just through social media. She is married and has kids. Would YOU give thousands of dollars to someone you haven't seen in years and only met less than handful of times in your life?

Being a softie is one thing, being taken advantage of is another.

Max you did the right thing by not giving her money. It opens the door to more asking in the future.
Not to mention, the husband may have very well put her up to it. Basically trying to move the money from OP's pocket, through her hands, and into hubby's pocket. The OP sidestepped some real aggravation. That is for sure
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