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Was this the right decision?


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Hey!

 

This is about my high school friend. Recently he's been very hard to reach and he's not serious about meeting me (NOHOMO)

 

I did test him to see if he initiates contact and he passed the test. Now it's like he always wants to meet me when I'm busy and when I have a day off I initiate contact to ask him to hangout and all he does is coming with an excuse. It just doesn't make sense you now

 

I got tired of it and just said right away that we had to find a time that fits both of us. He agreed but he never told me when he has a day off from school. He just said this "I'm busy 24/7 because of School, job and homework"

 

I said: "Bull**** how come that you are saying this to me now but we have always hung out when you had work and school" In short I ment he's coming up with an excuse again!

 

I deleted him on snapchat as a way of telling him I'm cutting him off. he took notice and called me at work

 

Here is him confronting me on the phone:

 

Him: Why did you delete me on snapchat?

 

Me: Because you always wants to meet me when I'm busy and you won't even give me the days you are off and you come up with excuses all the time.

 

Him: NOW you don't understand. There is a lot of homework and I don't have as much time as I used to.

 

Me: Alright then YOU have to be the one who initiate contact next time if you want to meet me.

 

Situation now: I recently saw a event when the cinema is giving half price on their shows so that's when he clicked "Like" on facebook. I don't know if that's he's way of telling me that he wants to join or not. But anyways he should still be the one who initiate.

Edited by Tagalz
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whichwayisup

Forget social media, communicate with him by phone or face to face. You two are friends and for some reason there are high expectations, misunderstandings and assuming the worst. People do get busy as they get older, more responsibilities, less time to visit friends. Try not to take it personally, you've done nothing wrong.

 

Tell him you just miss hanging out and feel a bit neglected. Hopefully having an honest (NON confrontational) talk will clear things up. Playing games and deleting someone you've known for a very long time off of social media to make a point is only going to make things worse and possibly could end things for good.

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Watercolors

These situations happens with friends when priorities change. Your friend no longer considers his friendship with you a high priority, and he gives you lame excuses to cover up the fact, that he no longer wants to prioritize hanging out with you, hoping that you'll just accept his lame excuses as fact instead of ask him to tell you why he's downgraded you in his life (most people are cowards in this area, and would rather lie than tell someone the truth for fear of feeling guilty about hurting someone's feelings).

 

I've been in this situation before and the outcome is always the same: they downgraded me, lied about why, I found out the truth, then we went our separate ways. I don't have time to chase after people anymore. I would rather just let them go on their merry way if they don't like me. No reason to hang on to people on social media, who no longer want to have a real friendship with you offline.

 

You can always snooze your friend's posts for 30 days and take a break if you don't want to permanently delete him from your social media. Stop contacting him, period. Focus on other friendships instead. See what happens.

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