Thanksgiving dilemma

[MustyMustard]

Hi.

 

 

I recently connected with an old friend on Facebook and I think we're becoming close again. I'm a man and she's a woman. She's invited me to her house for Thanksgiving. She also happens to be happily married. I guess the question is should I go? I think the world of this woman and I don't want anyone to feel as if I'm sort of threat. Her family is also going to be there (I only really knew her brother) and I wonder what their reaction would be to ' a blast from the past' so to speak. Anyhow is there anyone who thinks accepting the invitation would be okay? Or, maybe you think it isn't such a good idea. Thanks.

[d0nnivain]

She invited you to Thanksgiving because she is the sort of person who opens up her home at the holidays. She didn't want you alone. It was an invitation to her family table not her bed.

 

You should not go because you don't understand that & think that her invite was inappropriate.

[MustyMustard]

She invited you to Thanksgiving because she is the sort of person who opens up her home at the holidays. She didn't want you alone. It was an invitation to her family table not her bed.

 

You should not go because you don't understand that & think that her invite was inappropriate.

 

Of course I understand that. There's nothing sexual here, honest. You're probably right about her not wanting me to be alone though. I probably should just stick to Facebook.

 

Then again, I could be over-analyzing the whole thing.

[ja123]

Personally, I'd suggest to her that the first break-the-ice get-together should be other than a big occasion. And I'd be sure to meet the husband at the same time so there's no misunderstanding.

 

If you were to show up at her house at another time for some big occasion, then I'd ask to bring a female friend as a "date", so to speak.

[alphamale]

easy answer - if you have ever slept with her then don't go, if you have only been platonic friends then by all means go and pig out.

[MustyMustard]

Personally, I'd suggest to her that the first break-the-ice get-together should be other than a big occasion. And I'd be sure to meet the husband at the same time so there's no misunderstanding.

 

If you were to show up at her house at another time for some big occasion, then I'd ask to bring a female friend as a "date", so to speak.

 

That's a very good suggestion and I actually do want to meet her husband. Thanks.

 

easy answer - if you have ever slept with her then don't go, if you have only been platonic friends then by all means go and pig out.

 

 

It has always been platonic (no sex) so that makes me feel a little better. Still would like to meet the husband first though.

[Lotsgoingon]

So are you attracted to her?

 

Or do you pick up that she's attracted to you?

 

If either of the above is true, then yes, totally smart to stay the heck away. But if you guys are cleanly platonic (not just superficially so), then going to her home for Thanksgiving is no big deal these days ...

 

I sense you might have picked up some interest in her ... and in you ... or the invitation seems too intimate for your relationship? ... If you gut is loudly saying no, then chill and stay away.

[SolG]

Unless you're ex-lovers I think you are making too big of a deal of this.

 

When my xH and I were together we would often invite 'holiday orphans' over for occasion celebrations. Christmas, Easter, etc. And it was always done in consultation with one another.

 

In our field we, and our colleagues, move/d a lot. And not everyone can make it to their family (or vice versa) for these things all of the time. We without exception found it was a win/win for all concerned. It's always interesting to meet new interesting people and for those at a loose end to be able to feel part of a defacto family as opposed to melancholy and alone.

 

Unless there's some other underlying factor causing you to be wary of going... just go! You might just end up with her H as another good friend - two for the price of one.

[MustyMustard]

I chatted with her this morning and I asked if anyone was aware of me. She said she told her husband. I said I wanted to meet her husband and she wants me to meet him. SolG could be right; I might end up becoming friends with the husband (he's in a Rolling Stones cover band for fun so we share something there already). Anyhow, we'll see