Annoying college acquaintance

[Daniel95]

I'm having kinda an issue with an acquaintance from college. I met him when college started and he seemed kinda cool but that image didn't last for long. He is studying the same career as me but I don't enjoy talking to him given he has some rude/weird ways of talking to other people.

The worst thing is, even if I subtly try to let him know I don't want to speak to him he doesn't seem to catch this hints. Some examples of his behaviour:

I'm at the college coffee shop talking to a shy female friend. It's a one on one friendly talk and he just appears out of nowhere and stands there creeping out the soul out of my friend. Or I'm talking to the girl I'm dating and boom, again he appears and tries to talk to me (and he wants to talk about super random subjects).

I'm a really really patient person and almost never get mad but sometimes this guy interrupts things that any guy with a sense of brotherhood wouldn't Should I just approach him and tell him I don't want him to speak to me again ever?

[basil67]

Yes, you could do that.

 

You could also consider that he has social skill issues and could do with someone telling him what he's doing wrong and how to do things differently. We see this kind of thing online here all the time: guys who don't have friends or girlfriends and have no clue what they are doing wrong.

[preraph]

Ugh. One night there was a big personal crisis going on with a guy I worked with and was personal friends with and his wife and a male friend of mine. Me and the guy I worked with were trying to sneak off privately so we could talk and fill each other in since it was a developing situation. This obnoxious guy who worked with us just tried to follow us out and tag along. I told him, "Sorry, no, ____ and I need to talk about something."

 

You have to set boundaries. Don't wait until you blow up. Each situation, tell him to go away. Say, "Scott, we're having a private conversation. You're going to have to find someone else to talk to. Sorry." If you have to do this more than a couple of times and he never starts saying, "Am I interrupting" when he approaches, then just start holding your hand up and shaking your head no if you see him coming.

[basil67]

Ugh. One night there was a big personal crisis going on with a guy I worked with and was personal friends with and his wife and a male friend of mine. Me and the guy I worked with were trying to sneak off privately so we could talk and fill each other in since it was a developing situation. This obnoxious guy who worked with us just tried to follow us out and tag along. I told him, "Sorry, no, ____ and I need to talk about something."

 

You have to set boundaries. Don't wait until you blow up. Each situation, tell him to go away. Say, "Scott, we're having a private conversation. You're going to have to find someone else to talk to. Sorry." If you have to do this more than a couple of times and he never starts saying, "Am I interrupting" when he approaches, then just start holding your hand up and shaking your head no if you see him coming.

 

Yup - great approach

[guest569]

Aww, poor guy.

[preraph]

You can do it with a smile on your face if you want to, or if you feel like he's someone who is pitiable and won't take advantage of you, you can be the one to go up and talk to him the next time you see him out to make up for it. But if he's the guy who just have no boundaries and doesn't know the social graces, it's time he learns. The next time you see him you can always go up and say hey friend, I wasn't trying to be rude, but when you see me with a woman, I'd appreciate it if you gave me some privacy. Can I buy you a beer?

[basil67]

One of my biggest regrets in life is not being more compassionate to those without social skills. That said, it's not always easy when they are super annoying....