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My Ďbest friendí made new friends and doesnít talk to me?

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Old 2nd February 2018, 7:22 PM   #1
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 17
My Ďbest friendí made new friends and doesnít talk to me?

My friend and I used to be very close about a year ago, last summer we hung out a lot and talked almost everyday. About a year before that i lost someone who i thought was my best friend, and it hurt because it was a betrayal. I do have one best friend that has been with me for about 7 years, but he is a guy and i always craved to have a girl best friend as well so when we met and started talking I thought I found Ďherí. We met in college and got really close last summer but now Iím not so sure.

I always thought I was a good friend to her, I let her borrow my photoshop (we are design students) even when it inconvenienced me, when I went away on vacation I always bought her back some goodies and souvenirs, I was always there to talk to her when she and her boyfriend had a fight, etc.
As the last few months from about Sept. - Oct. went on I felt like I was only a friend for her when we were in school or when she had problems with her boyfriend (they used to fight a lot but I guess fixed things, so I didnít hear from her much). We are also in the same degree program and year.

When winter break came for us from about Christmas to the end of January I didnít hear from her at all. She only texted me to wish me merry Christmas and I tried to talk to her that day to see how she was doing but never answered me and I just assumed she was busy. I then wished her a happy new year and we texted for a few times but again she never answered me.

Now we started school again, I have her in all my classes and for the first few days we talked and hung out like friends but she made some new friends and now I feel like sheís being a little rude. For instance i put my bag down on a table next to her and her other friend put her bag the same place. At the time I was in another place talking to someone else so I texted my friend and I said ďI donít know where to sitĒ and she said to sit next to one of her friends who I donít talk to. I just felt kind of betrayed in a way and it kind of hurt me in a way. My friend didnít move to sit next to me so I sat by myself the whole time.

This morning I saw them walking together to school (we both commute to the same station and then walk to school) and I didnít say anything and just walked faster because it bothered me. My friend never waited for me or walked with me to school and it felt like I was just a person she talked to and doesnít need anymore. We have the same class today and sit next to each other but when she came in she didnít say hi to me or even talk to me. I just felt awkward and like I was just Ďthereí. My computer wasnít working so I moved to another area in the room and sat by myself (again). She didnít speak to me at all today, she takes to the other girl the whole time.

I donít know how to handle the situation, I feel like i was thrown away and when someone acts like that i just tend to pull away from people. I was already hurt in thinking we werenít really best friends anymore but to kinda of act like that is kind of a slap in the face. I feel alittle betrayed because i did a lot for her, I always looked for her and itís like now that she made a new friend(s) it as if I donít exist.

Iíve tried talking and being engaging with her friends and while her friend talks to me I donít think itís in a way to get to know me.

It kind of depressed me too. I know whatís itís like losing a best friend and i just feel like Iím too nice to people who wouldnít do anything close for me.
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Old 3rd February 2018, 10:00 AM   #2
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Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 27,595
Sadly there is not much you can do. She's chosen to fade out of your life. Find some new friends & make sure you have a few this time so when one person's life changes you are not left alone.

Best wishes. It is hard & upsetting.
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Old 3rd February 2018, 4:26 PM   #3
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I am so sorry about what happened to you

But this is life and you will see many fake friends like that.

Hell, even the honest friends will change in a minute and you would be shocked.

Most of them leave once they find someone better or something better.

So, don't get attached to anyone very deeply.

I understand now, that you are feeling isolated like an abandoned puppy in the class and you are embarrassed.

The best course of action is to friend some guys in class and sit next to them just so you don't look alone in class.
Guys like to be heroes, so pretend you need their help in something even if you know the answer!

Also, make a study group and try to hang out with them, do anything to look busy in class and out.

In time, you will forget about this despicable person and you will move on.

Don't feel sad, it was not something you did, it's her not you.

Please, if by any chance she tried to talk to you again.

Remember this: She is using you to get something, don't say hi to her, don't even look at her!

Pretend she does not even exist!

By the way, from now on, she might even laugh with her friends when you walk nearby, to avoid this put an earphone and listen to music.

You are an artist, focus on excelling and building your future as the best designer you can be, she is probably jealous of you and she should be!

Be happy that you discovered she was a fake!
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Old 3rd February 2018, 9:21 PM   #4
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Sorry that happened. In college, you make friends, and some last and some don't. Fact is it's an age when people are rapidly expanding their horizons and changing from how they were when they got there. Just being out from their parents' house is enough to make most people really change a lot. So it's a common time for people to leave their old friends behind as they look for a better match or better niche to themselves.

You're still in college, so I just urge you to go up and talk to someone who looks interesting to you but who doesn't already have a bevy of friends surrounding them. I met someone that way. I just went up and said I liked her boots and we had horses in common and become great friends (until she had kids and a husband and then she totally dumped me and it was very hurtful). But that's life.

There's no real commitment with friends. There are some basic rules of loyalty a good friend will follow, but there just isn't anything that says a person can't move on without you , unfortunately.

Go talk to someone who looks like they could use a friend and may be too quiet to just make friends. You may find a real gem that way!
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
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