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Friend Going Through Difficult Time

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Old 11th August 2017, 11:04 AM   #1
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Friend Going Through Difficult Time

A friend of mine is going through a rough time in her life. She mentioned to me at the beginning of summer that she is at a point where she is starting not to want to deal with it anymore. I have been trying to encourage her as much as I can, by telling her that I love her for who is she and that this difficult time isn't defining her as a person. I am getting a bit worried as she hasn't been answering me when I am asking her how she is doing or how things are going. She answers other questions but those two she never even touches on. I am wondering if she is worried that she will be a burden to me if she tells me what is going on. I love her and want the best for her. I am just a bit at a loss as to what to do.
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Old 11th August 2017, 1:27 PM   #2
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She is just depressed about whatever it is and just keep supporting her. Not everyone wants to talk about it. Do try to get her out of the house every now and then to keep her from getting too mired. Normalize any bit of her life that you can for balance.
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
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Old 13th August 2017, 8:45 AM   #3
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hi there, just a real quick one from me, maybe your friend is finding it too too difficult to talk to you about these very personal or difficult matters (regardless of how much you love her etc), so firstly don't feel too bad about that, it may be that you are just not it a position to really understand the way she needs at this time in her life.

secondly maybe get her to consider talking to a professional or completely confidential ear about what is troubling her.

maybe she can talk away from your area if she fears any kind of come back or gossip.

just be there fore her in every way like it sounds like you are being, and just respect the fact that on this occasion and for these topics she doesn't or cant confide in you.

don't push her to talk again if she isn't ready to talk or can deal with this with you, if the time is right she will come to you. if you know what some of the problems then fine, just again respect her privacy totally as I'm sure she'll want that more than anything from you. however much she loves and trusts you as a friend.

maybe get her to call Samaritans sometime in a quiet place she wont feel overheard or intimidated. it might help her to release some of her pressures and troubles a bit, and she can try to balance things or start to open up to other professionals or people in her position.

good luck and still be the good friend you sound as though you are already.

its just a matter of respect and offering help, she may not want to take it, but there is nothing to lose showing you care by just letting her know that you understand that she may not want to talk or be able to talk to you, but there maybe people out there whatever her situation that she can talk to about this. she will probably find others who need to talk or found a person or a group to share with when they thought no one would understand.

good luck with this. maxi
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Old 13th August 2017, 1:45 PM   #4
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Hey :)

Originally Posted by Chaiformeplease View Post
person. I am getting a bit worried as she hasn't been answering me when I am asking her how she is doing or how things are going.
These can be very painful questions for someone of a fragile disposition. They may produce wholly irrational chains of thought, shine a light on her acute pain.

Stick to more neutral types of question, if you need to question her at all.

What is for dinner? is a neutral question. Promote chains of thought that don't focus on her current dilemma.

If she requires professional help encourage her to seek it where/when appropriate.
"That there are men in all countries who get their living by war, and by keeping up the quarrels of nations, is as shocking as it is true." - Thomas Paine, Rights of Man, 1791
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Old 20th August 2017, 11:59 AM   #5
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any updates with the freind. how are they, how are you?
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