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scared of narcissist

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Old 20th July 2017, 3:58 AM   #1
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scared of narcissist

She will strike again.

She thinks nothing of turning a dinner out into an argument. She watched me squirm over a misunderstanding that she would not drop all thru the meal. Her tone of voice was actually hateful at some points, and she sneered at me.

She has messed up two dinner outings now - so this pattern is not going away, and her apology is no longer credible.

She loves bombs me after. There are rows of kisses of her texts to me, but I just do not trust them.

I know I must look for new friends too as I put her on slow fade, just texted her telling her I will see her at the next dinner, which is a couple of weeks away, no kisses.

She picks on me, she is nice to some others in our circle, one of who is a really close friend of mine, but not me, so I do not and can not drop her.

Unable to go no-contact, I am going lo-contact.

How do I handle the fear?
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Old 20th July 2017, 6:24 AM   #2
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Yeah , not good.
l had a gf like that early 20s. Could not go out with other people unless it was her own family in that case she was a dream gf.
But anyone else, within 20 - n30mins she'd be ignoring me or making snide remarks in front of everyone.
One night we were out with about 10 other people and l literally went to the loo and didn't come back, started walking home 25miles away. l didn't care if it took all night , l'd had enough.
God that must have embarrassed the hell out of her when l didn't come back. l still really hate to imagine.
There was no way to deal with her that l could find, in the end l left her for good.

Weird that your other friend doesn't stand by you knowing what this ones like.
Sorry l can't offer any tips really other than avoid her or sit way up the other end with others instead of there's enough people and just snub her..

Last edited by Chilli; 20th July 2017 at 6:32 AM..
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Old 27th July 2017, 12:42 AM   #3
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You should definitely not take a good look into your life every once in a while.

Not looking deeply into your life will allow you to continue living the way you do now, and perhaps accepting very unfavourable circumstances.

If you do, however, look deeply within your life. You may discover the type of relationships you do wish to have, want to experience and live.

You are, at the end of the day, the master of your life.

As long as you don't give your power away, then you are, for the most part in control of it.

So, do yourself a favour, realise that what you are going through is ****, and nobody should be taking this kind of treatment from anybody and hopefully come to realise that you deserve better, either from her or from somebody else.

Good Luck
Lui Bliss
Meditation Based Life Coach
and Mental Health Activist
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Old 27th July 2017, 1:06 PM   #4
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Why can't you just dump her? At least stand up for yourself when she's doing this or leave or whatever.
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
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Old 27th July 2017, 3:37 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by preraph View Post
Why can't you just dump her? At least stand up for yourself when she's doing this or leave or whatever.
Yeh, rather than putting yourself through more suffering, point out to her when she upsets you. It's important to let her know as perhaps she's not aware. If you have tried this and she continues the behaviour, then stop seeing her.
"Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other." - Carl Jung
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