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Strange friendship

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Old 29th December 2016, 4:56 PM   #1
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: London, UK
Posts: 46
Strange friendship

So, an odd thing happened today. Were this the first time I had felt like this in this friendship I probably would not have batted an eyelid, but here goes...

I have a good friend, some years older than me (I am 29, he is in his 50s). I have a wildly eclectic circle of friends, as sometimes I find different age groups have wildly different ways of looking at things. This friend is a married man, with children, lovely house and a string of properties, and from my perspective seems wildly successful in life. In some respects I guess I admire him.

However; we had a bit of a falling out earlier this year (we were going to start a business together, a lot of things happened and that never materialised) things became a little frosty between us - I came out of a relationship and he got very upset that I cancelled a holiday for my ex and I rather than take him (which to be honest... probably would have been fun, but I have friends my own age I would have taken! If I wanted to take an older person, I would take my mom) I also cancelled a few social engagements with said friend, as I was trying to clear my credit card bill (which I did).

Ultimately he removed and blocked me from all his social media platforms, and when he did send an apologetic message via Skype in Spring, I responded gracefully accepting his apology, however heard no response.

When he got back in touch earlier this summer, I responded (much to his surprise) and agreed to meet for dinner. During this meal he told me he saw me as his best friend, that he never received my response to his apologetic message and was mildly insulting at times (I am self employed, but also had a part time job which he essentially insulted me over 'you're an employee, not an entrepreneur'; good things came of it as the part time job was holding me back from expanding my business, which is now flourishing - so I thought 'tough love')

Since then we have been meeting as we would before, for drinks and meals. When I have been having low periods with regards to the business he has been encouraging and supportive. However....

I have been in talks to set up a new clinic with two others, a friend and an investor a fair distance from home. Ultimately we have the brains, the brawn and the money and no concrete plans with regards to the new business yet. I accidentally let slip this afternoon that I was busy on a particular date as I had a business meeting to attend and he pressed me to tell him about my future venture.

Since then he has been incredibly off with me, saying that he felt stupid and a bit of a mug; that he felt that he was in a position of trust and was surprised I had not even mentioned it. He has since messaged to say that 'ultimately when things break it's for the best' (in relation to breaking a bottle of wine, however I feel that it is clearly a dig at me)

What is irritating me is that I have no concrete plans, so why would I share them? We haven't even found a property yet! But it feels that he is angry with me?

He has outright said that he is upset and needs time to process this but for me I really cannot understand the why. He has his businesses, he has his family and at the end of the day . . . there is near enough 20 years between us, and I feel like I am dealing with a stroppy teenager!

Any ideas?! Am I missing something?!
If you donít go after what you want, youíll never have it
If you donít ask, the answer is always no
If you donít step forward, youíre always in the same place
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Old 29th December 2016, 7:20 PM   #2
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I hope I'm wrong, but just based on the odds, even though you don't mention if you're a male or female, I am going to guess that you are a female. And he is a male. Males rarely become tight friends with females unless they are attracted to them and can see themselves having sex with them. Also, they certainly don't usually do them favors and think about getting into business with them (them fronting the money) unless they think it might get them closer to sex.

So assuming you're female, my take is that he is red hot about you jumping into business with someone else because 1) now he can't leverage that if he ever wants to to get into your pants and 2) he's probably assuming you're sleeping with the new partners.

Again, I hope I'm wrong. And if you're male, don't know what to tell you except he seems too emotional to be just a platonic friend.
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
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Old 29th December 2016, 9:52 PM   #3
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This friend is no friend, he's a jerk. He's playing hot/cold with you and seems manipulative. Also, he is too invested (and you in him) since he is married, I doubt his wife would be happy for how he's acting towards you both being too friendly at times and also being a jerk to you.

Cut him out of your life. He's drama and for a 50 year old he has a lot of growing up to do.
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