Mourning the end of a friendship

[Salina]

Hi everyone, thank you for taking the time to read this, your advice is certainly most welcome and appreciated.

 

I had a friendship (platonic) with a lovely person for quite some time but who has in the last year, just not at all been interested in keeping in touch or even trying to maintain some semblance of a friendship. I have done my best to initiate conversations, talk to them, try to engage them in some way but my efforts always seemed futile. Whether it's trying to meet them in person, have a chat, text, etc., this person has gone from someone I could talk to and converse with, to someone who would just answer my questions and that's that. I haven't done anything to offend this person, I genuinely know that and this person has not suddenly become busy (as I made an effort to ask how they are, how's life etc. and he'd at least answer that).

 

The straw that broke the camel's back came when I fell very ill some time ago and though this person knew I was not doing well at all for several months, I struggled horribly (I'm still recovering but doing much better now), this friend didn't once make an effort to ask how I was. Not even a single text to ask 'how are you'. Nothing at all. This person would not and does not keep in contact unless I initiate. When I asked why they don't keep in contact, they simply said 'it's just how I am, I kind of just am unresponsive'. I'm not kidding, that was the answer.

 

It just really hurt my feelings that this one person who I genuinely cared for as a friend, and who I considered a friend just doesn't care at all for me or my well being to even take 5 seconds of their life to ask 'how are you?' I'm not asking that they carry me to the hospital or pay for all of my medical expenses, I would just appreciate a simple 'hope you're feeling better.' I'm very grateful that I have a wonderful support network that really helped me when I fell ill, I'll never forget their kindness and will always cherish it.

 

With this one 'friend' though, I have decided I will not continue to pursue a non-existent friendship with someone who simply doesn't care.

 

As much as I know that this person is not a good fit in my life, and I don't want someone that uncaring in my life, it's still sad to a degree, to see a friendship end in such a way. Does anyone have any thoughts they could share with me about leaving an unhealthy friendship behind?

 

Thank you so much.

[preraph]

It's just not a friendship. The person seems totally disinterested and not at all invested in you. To him, you are just an acquaintance, nothing more, and he's made it plain he's not interested in stepping it up any. So you are right to leave. I don't believe you have really lost anything, but by walking totally away now, you will at least gain some dignity you have lost throughout this one-way thing. I've found that you will turn loose of someone and someone new will come along. Good luck.