Hopeful714 Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 A friend and I had plans to go out to dinner tonight, have a few drinks, and catch up. I was going to meet her a 7. At 5:30 she texted asking if I would mind cutting dinner short (9p) because the guy she went out with yesterday (for the first time) asked to meet her at a bar tonight. She said "since you wanted to get home early anyhow". I said go ahead we'll meet up another time knowing that the place we planned on would be packed and we'd be too rushed. This whole thing kinda passed me off. On top of it she said "I have next Wed open" as if she's saving the weekend for potential dates. Im not ready to Chuck the friendship but I think this was kinda shytte. How should I handle this without having to play second fiddle to guys that are obviously more important than I am? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 I don't like "friends" who dump you for a date. It's disloyal. I probably would have told her so but agreed to meet anyway then asked her to push her date back. If she was smart she would have said No to the guy's last minute invitation & offered him Wednesday. A little mystery & not being easily available is a good thing in a new relationship. I would have told her that too. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Women will always do that. What's really really stupid about it is the guy would like her more if she WASN'T always available like that. That's what's crazy about doing it. No one, friend or otherwise, wants to think a person never has anything better to do than meet them at the last minute. So in a friendly manner, you might just tell her that next time you manage to meet up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hopeful714 Posted January 3, 2016 Author Share Posted January 3, 2016 Hi...and thanks for your responses. I agree, I wouldn't accept a last minute date but she regularly does. Telling her this does nothing. Been there done that. What bothers me is that she broke the plans with me for someone she barely knows....basically that says to me she doesn't value me much. She texted me this morning and said "sorry" then proceeded to tell me about where she went, about her dancing to a band and how she "hates" dating. Really? I couldn't even answer. I'm thinking "hate" dating? She lives for this and it's really all she ever does and talks about. Ever! I find her stories amusing so I listen, but now I'm thinking this is getting a bit old. And one sided. Maybe I'm talking this all wrong or feeling a bit insecure because I have been on a long dating hiatus since my last rs (which was abusive). So, I'm in no hurry....and am quite content alone for the time being. NOBODY understands this. But with my friends, it's guys, guys, guys. Gotta have a man. Actually, another of my friends "flaked" on me just last year when her long distance bf moved to town. I don't even talk to her anymore. And I was there for her when she was down and out and crap hit the fan in her life. So there's 2 issues bothering me. One, that my "friends" seem to be using me as the good old single buddy when they have no one....and two, that they seem to have no respect for me and my choices when they meet someone and get better offers....because then I'm not needed. Advise? These are/were my so called friends. I don't want to dump everyone....nor do I want to be a doormat. Thanks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Reasons why men do not need friends that are girls: Those in the stud zone will always get preferential treatment over those in the friend zone. Having female friends is the first step on the slippery slope to an affair. I do not know of any man that would get his feelings hurt if a male friend bailed out on him when his friend said this girl called and wanted to go out with him. If anything the normal man's response would be a that's the way to go with a possible does she have a attractive friend for me. However a man needs a girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 You don't have to dump your friends but you should make some new ones who don't let a man or the potential for a man control their every decision. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 I agree with Donnivain. But I would also add that you do not have to agree to "be okay" with getting dumped at the last minute. Honestly, you'd be doing them a favor if you pitched a righteous fit when they ask and say, "HEY, I planned to do this with you, and no it's not okay for me to now waste a day because you cancelled on me -- and unlike you, I wouldn't be so rude as to call someone at the last minute to fill in for you." Link to post Share on other sites
Belle88 Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 I have a friend who does that even though she lives with her boyfriend. Ugh.. Now i dont play those games with time restrictions and after a while it started workimg. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 Getting dumped by someone exactly on the dating day is the most worst feeling anyone might want to feel ever. It's annoying and hurts as well. Two friends same sex friends hanging out is not a date. When one friend gets asked out by another of the opposite sex that is a date. Dates get priority, dates trump every time over hanging out. Talk about being a love/sex block. Grow up get real. Link to post Share on other sites
deckard11 Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 Get rid of her dude, trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
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