zeeetaar Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 (edited) In our group of friends in high school, majority of us are outcasts/ bookworms and i adore them and i felt loyal to them. I am a social butterfly talking here and there to everyone around school so naturally, i occasionally get attention from guys. I don't talk about it, i never mentioned it because i don't like to brag and half the time I don't believe it. Shortly after we graduated my high school sweetheart dumped me and i was on rebound mode, got really drunk and two of my guy friends confessed they liked me so i slept with one of them and the other got pissed. Things escalated, and i got out-casted from that group temporarily but this "friend" of mine eagerly took my place and is copying my hair and everything. The group has forgiven me but yet she refuses to invite me to group events, even though i invite her. My dog died, she knew and didn't bother to say hi. She come over for a party at my house completely avoided me, she didn't even greet me. She also attended a small party for my ex's birthday even though they weren't close yet she knew how attached i was to him. At parties she'll play a truth game with guys and ask them "which one of us is hotter" every single freaking time. I never want to play because I almost always get picked and its just degrading for my friends, but whenever the guy picks someone she asks why and the next day she happens to change it into that, eg straight hair. I just can't believe how unbelievably rude she has become and its just baffling. Shes almost 18 and she's never had a boyfriend and that fine. I'm the only one in the group who has had boyfriends and so most of them come to me for guys help and i try to help but with my personality its hard. I dare to kiss the guy whereas my friends like guys who approach them. Apparently i have a "flirty" personality because im smile a lot . My best interests are for my friends tho so, if they like a guy i become well mannered only act politely to the guy, out of respect. I used to help this "friend" of my with her pursuers but shes thinks shes above them and rejects them. Now however, she has gone boy crazed and i'm almost at my limit. Shes even thinking of going to a university worse than the one she got accepted into all for a potential of a guy. She is a gorgeous and very smart girl, but she just has a really bad personality because of the way she treats people, that's why not many guys like her, and ive asked them because i was trying to hook her up. TL;DR I just want to get it into her head that guy attention and popularity isn't everything. High school is over, no one really cares anymore, except for your friends. I want to hold an intervention about the way shes treating all of us but she always thinks she right and i very submissive in fights. I really have no idea what to do. Does this always happen post graduation? How do i get her to open her eyes and see. Edited April 13, 2015 by zeeetaar Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted April 16, 2015 Share Posted April 16, 2015 There's not much you can do. Your "friend" has to learn on her own, endure life's lessons. Maybe she will understand in the future, maybe she'll get worse. It's admirable that you do care enough to guide her, but in the end you can only control yourself. Just be supportive as much as your patience allows. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 16, 2015 Share Posted April 16, 2015 Look, you can't change her, and she is just using you and trying to compete with you -- and that can get very sick. It happened to me. It can be very unhealthy, and she can ruin some relationships or try to and just really it's not good keeping someone like that around. This crap about her asking who's sexiest and then changing herself is BAD. She wants your life and she will try to take it as long as you let her come around. What has happened with your other friends is you have outgrown them. You are good socially and vivacious and that attracts men and women, but it puts off people who are jealous of someone being that way, i.e., people who are socially unskilled. So don't worry about losing that group of friends. Those two dudes have probably both been panting after you for years and too fearful to speak up, so, you know, whatever.... Keep being talkative and approachable and make new friends, and cut that copycat girl out of your life and anyone else who is trying to rein you in. Find a new crowd. That will be easy in college. But remember, the first group you talk to in college will likely be who you'll end up friends with, so CHOOSE who you talk to first and be picky. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmiscassie92 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 You can't change her, like the other posters above said. I understand you care about your friends, but it may be in your best interest to stop making so much effort in you two's "friendship". She even came over to YOUR house and deliberately tried to ignore you. That's just bad manners right there. She appears to be quite jealous of you, and nothing you say or do is going to make her change the way she has been acting. I say start distancing yourself. If you see her around, be polite because you're not the type of person to be rude or disrespectful. However, stop going out of your way to invite her places. Just slowly drop contact and find other positive, welcoming people to be around. Link to post Share on other sites
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