My friends are so depressed...

[blackcat777]

...and I don't know what to do!

 

I just moved back to my hometown (was out of the country for many years). My friends and I always stayed in touch electronically, but now I have the pleasure of seeing them in person.

 

Except, two of my girlfriends that I have known since early childhood are both SEVERELY depressed for serious and legitimate reasons. One had a suicide in the family and the other is coming off alcohol/benzos. One is receptive to me visiting, the other one I've seen a few times, but not so much.

 

I wish there was something I could do, to cheer them up, even temporarily. I also struggle with how often to contact them/when to let them have their space. I also wonder sometimes if me being positive can be interpreted as invalidation?

 

I'm facebook friends with the one girl's mom (who is awesome), and when I hang out with her, her mom is usually there with us. I haven't ever messaged her mom to talk about it, but I sometimes wonder if I should?

 

It makes me feel really bad when I think about how they're struggling. They are both feeling so hopeless. I've never had friends suffer like this before. I guess I'm wondering what is the best way for me to be there for them?

 

I've dealt with my own depression years before, but that was more of me making peace with things that happened in my past, not presently situational, like both of these. It's different, challenging when I try to relate.

 

Thanks!

[todreaminblue]

its hard to relate to people living with depression...the only thing you can do is let them know they are there if you need them ...sometimes its naught in what you say that helps...just a simple presence can be the most helpful thing that you can do...i am a mormon.....and on the lds site i came across a video that is quite helpful for people who have to deal with depression through the people they care about.....i am not providing this video only as a mormon but someone who lives with and through depression ...just be there for your friends.....even just to sit and watch a movie...its the loneliness of feeling isolated and alone, involved with depression that often kills, lonliness suffocates a persons will to make it through..make your friends feel like they arent a burden, strengthen them with your friendship and your caring nature...you might not have to say much at all...for what can you say?.....and you can be there to help them with the burdens they carry.....just be there......when the clouds break

 

 

http://www.mormonchannel.org/video/mormon-messages?v=3851853843001&cid=HPTU102114502

 

 

 

...deb

[HurtZ]

Sorry your friends are depressed. It is a serious disorder and should not be taken lightly. You’ve been a great friend by being there but you can also listen to them so they can express their feelings, don’t let them isolate themselves (insist on visiting or meeting up), don’t be afraid to talk about if they feel suicidal, offer to help, offer to do little things for them like cleaning or grocery shopping, and also encourage them to seek psychological counseling. Also remember to educate yourself about depression and find other ways to help them through this. Just having someone devote some time to them by listening or doing little things can make a world of difference. Don’t give up on them!