Friend with Schizoaffective Disorder / Falling out

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

I have this friend I play video games with online and this is the second time now we've had a falling out. I can't tell if its the disorder or if she's just...I don't even know. She called me moody and said I was overreacting (twice), even after she told me "She wasn't in the mood" or "not in the mood to talk to anyone" was quite rude to me and said I was blabbering.

 

Today I thought she might be having delusions or a psychotic episode and I tried to find out and express my care and she made me feel like a prick. I dunno what to do or say. She deleted me off Steam. I kinda told her if she was going to be an ass to me and treat me like dirt she could get off my list (I probably shouldn't have said that), but I found it quite hard not to take it personally and it got the better of me.

[GG3]

And what is she saying you were being moody to? More info please.

[darkmoon]

watch out, look, mental illness does not always mean insults etc. get made, she has a bad streak going on but not all ill ppl do

[freestyle]

I have this friend I play video games with online and this is the second time now we've had a falling out. I can't tell if its the disorder or if she's just...I don't even know. She called me moody and said I was overreacting (twice), even after she told me "She wasn't in the mood" or "not in the mood to talk to anyone" was quite rude to me and said I was blabbering.

 

Today I thought she might be having delusions or a psychotic episode and I tried to find out and express my care and she made me feel like a prick. I dunno what to do or say. She deleted me off Steam. I kinda told her if she was going to be an ass to me and treat me like dirt she could get off my list (I probably shouldn't have said that), but I found it quite hard not to take it personally and it got the better of me.

 

Did she tell you that she'd been diagnosed with this condition?

 

Also, is she someone with whom you've interacted with in real life, or do you only know her from online interactions?

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

And what is she saying you were being moody to? More info please.

 

The first time was months ago and I can't even remember. She was talking nonsense about something and couldn't be reasoned with. At one point I couldn't tell if she was just ignorant, or if she was purposefully trying to rile me up.

 

Did she tell you that she'd been diagnosed with this condition?

 

Also, is she someone with whom you've interacted with in real life, or do you only know her from online interactions?

 

She told me she was schizaffective this last time yeah. I feel a little better now about the whole thing, because a whole bunch of people that know her (mutual friends) told me that she does the same thing to them. She will become psychotic and do crappy things to them and when they call her out on it she reverts to a child like state and flips out. Temper tantrums etc. I don't know her in person, no. We're just a group of friends that play games together online from time to time.

 

I just feel bad that she doesn't have friends where she lives, because of her disorder and when she's even-keeled she's very intelligent, articulate, funny and pretty cool. She's pretty much alienated the majority of the community that interacts with her online. Wish I knew something I could do.

[freestyle]

The first time was months ago and I can't even remember. She was talking nonsense about something and couldn't be reasoned with. At one point I couldn't tell if she was just ignorant, or if she was purposefully trying to rile me up.

 

 

 

She told me she was schizaffective this last time yeah. I feel a little better now about the whole thing, because a whole bunch of people that know her (mutual friends) told me that she does the same thing to them. She will become psychotic and do crappy things to them and when they call her out on it she reverts to a child like state and flips out. Temper tantrums etc. I don't know her in person, no. We're just a group of friends that play games together online from time to time.

 

I just feel bad that she doesn't have friends where she lives, because of her disorder and when she's even-keeled she's very intelligent, articulate, funny and pretty cool. She's pretty much alienated the majority of the community that interacts with her online. Wish I knew something I could do.

 

I"m sorry to hear that.

When someone we know & like, or even care for is affected by a condition like that--it can be an exercise in extreme patience, and growing a very thick skin.

 

I think you'd be wise to keep strong boundaries in place, in you interactions with her--(don't share too much that's deep & personal) (if she flips on you, it's possible that anything you've confided will get used against you)

 

Also--if she lashes out at you, it's about HER, not about you, (even if it feels personal.

 

I've gone through a similar experience with a formerly close friend really going around the bend, to the point of distorting reality, and getting ugly with me, so I know how crappy it feels.

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

I"m sorry to hear that.

When someone we know & like, or even care for is affected by a condition like that--it can be an exercise in extreme patience, and growing a very thick skin.

 

I think you'd be wise to keep strong boundaries in place, in you interactions with her--(don't share too much that's deep & personal) (if she flips on you, it's possible that anything you've confided will get used against you)

 

Also--if she lashes out at you, it's about HER, not about you, (even if it feels personal.

 

I've gone through a similar experience with a formerly close friend really going around the bend, to the point of distorting reality, and getting ugly with me, so I know how crappy it feels.

 

Yeah, that's exactly what it feels like. She was projecting on me her own insecurities and crap. Too bad we're not friends anymore. I dunno.

[freestyle]

Yeah, that's exactly what it feels like. She was projecting on me her own insecurities and crap. Too bad we're not friends anymore. I dunno.

 

I know it can hurt---but----this might be a blessing in disguise.

 

My disordered friend has caused me truckloads of pain & grief.

And I'm kicking myself for not seeing some of the red flags sooner..

The moment I expressed an opinion that differed from hers, she went nuclear, and everything I'd ever confided in her, became fodder for gossip, and a full-blown smear campaign behind my back.... Based on completely twisting the facts.

 

This was after eight years of friendship, too.

 

So, if you have a friend who has extreme trouble with emotional regulation-- you can end up with a lot of headaches, & heartaches..

 

Grieve the loss, and consider saving your energy for healthier friendships, that don't leave you walking on eggshells.

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

I know it can hurt---but----this might be a blessing in disguise.

 

My disordered friend has caused me truckloads of pain & grief.

And I'm kicking myself for not seeing some of the red flags sooner..

The moment I expressed an opinion that differed from hers, she went nuclear, and everything I'd ever confided in her, became fodder for gossip, and a full-blown smear campaign behind my back.... Based on completely twisting the facts.

 

This was after eight years of friendship, too.

 

So, if you have a friend who has extreme trouble with emotional regulation-- you can end up with a lot of headaches, & heartaches..

 

Grieve the loss, and consider saving your energy for healthier friendships, that don't leave you walking on eggshells.

 

Indeed. It's like these people are drawn to me...mostly females.