I've Been Cut Off Again...

[RhapsodyinBlue]

I made a similar thread about a friend back in November/December, but this is an entirely different person.

 

Me and a good friend got into an argument because I felt like he was always coming to me with his problems. He always blew my attempts to hang out, but always found time to go to bars, movies, movie premieres, hiking, concerts and dinner with his other two friends. He has thyroid cancer and he is always griping about his health, his stressful job and classes. He has a lot on his plate, but from my perspective–things just didn’t look right. We hadn’t hung out in a month and a half and the last time we had hung out was when I was consoling him about his “break up” with an ex-friend. Keep in mind, he also called me in the middle of the day because he was “scarred” and found his ex-bf’s instagram account. Of course, his ex has a new boyfriend. My ex-friend seems to be one of the sweetest, coolest, most intelligent and hard working person I know...so I thought.

 

I never talk to people when they're down for my own greedy interests, but it’s a part of who I am as a person that I remind those close to me that we are servants of divine will. Also I am a tarot reader, empath and intuitive counselor. Yes, I've done several readings on the issue. (There's a huge chance he'll back, but the future can always change) But I was beginning to feel more and more like a pillow and not a friend of his. Only being kept around for emotional garbage, but other than that we would just text all the time. Of course his responses were always negative. I finally had enough, but talked to him in tactful way. He didn’t take too well to this and told me I needed to understand his health, school and work come first and that I had unrealistic expectations. He eventually called the argument stupid and “frankiy immature.” I warned him to be careful with his word choices. Those were my feelings he was practically talking about and I felt dismissed and non-existent.

 

He knew I had MORE than enough reasons to be mad because he kept assuring me we needed to have a conversation face to face so he could explain his "reasons"-- which I would have LOVED to hear because I'm sure it's a crock full of ****. . At that point I told him I was done with the conversation because of course I was hurt. He took that as me saying goodbye and began to ignore me for a week. I told him that is not what I meant. I sent texts, emails, phone calls and a Facebook message. He even blocked me on Facebook. He told me I had made it clear that I was done with our friendship. He only heard what he wanted to hear, but never listened. I even sent a message saying if he didn't respond that I could assume he was no longer interested in having a friendship with me. I felt like a FOOL because I sent even more messages after that to his email address since I was out of the country. Of course I only got ignored and eventually received a message saying that he was okay and that he could take care of himself just like I’m so confident that I could do the same.

 

Eventually, he apologized for “acting” immature, but it was me trying to coordinate things to meet up and finally have this discussion. Of course, I got back to the states March 25 and I eventually had to text AND call him to plan out something. He told me it’d have to be after April 1st because he was too busy. Seriously? We couldn’t even have a simple phone conversation. I was upset, we exchanged words and I began to use profanity. He said he never talked to me that way or disrespected me that way. I kindly reminded him of his words and actions towards me just two weeks prior. Finally, he told me I needed to just leave him alone and he didn’t want to discuss anything else. I gave him an earful. Of course, I apologized the next day because I can have a outrageous temper if I feel like you are threatening me or blatantly disrespecting me. I apologized a couple of days later. He said he could forgive my words, but he “absolutely” had no interest in staying in contact with me and that I needed to respect that.

 

Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he pops out of nowhere in the future BUT I’m not expecting it. His friends don’t have his best interest at heart. His family cut him off because he’s gay. I think he still isn't over his ex-boyfriend either. Regardless, I cannot fix him or even make him want to be my friend. I did what I could do to save our friendship, but I felt like an appointment and not even a human being.

 

I won’t make excuses for him because of his family and friends. He’s grown and must take actions. He can’t keep holding others accountable for what his family, old friends and ex boyfriend did to him. He loves to play victim.

Edited April 8, 2013 by RhapsodyinBlue

[RhapsodyinBlue]

I'm probably over-thinking. He wants to be left alone and has "absolutely no interest" in staying in contact, then I need to move on. I'm probably hurting more than he is and he probably doesn't give a damn. I won't give him that power.

[luv2b3fun]

In all honesty, I really couldn't follow your post because it didn't seem like something you wanted to write, but something you wanted to vent and get off your chest.

 

Quick question, are you secretly in love with him? That's really the vibe I'm getting. If so, stop whining and tell him to stop coming to you with his b.s. and let him know how you feel about him and see where you guys can go from there.

 

If you don't have any interest in him, he honestly seems like a waste of time and energy. And I'm sure you're drained from all his crap. So there is really no reason to prolong the inevitable.

[RhapsodyinBlue]

In all honesty, I really couldn't follow your post because it didn't seem like something you wanted to write, but something you wanted to vent and get off your chest.

 

Quick question, are you secretly in love with him? That's really the vibe I'm getting. If so, stop whining and tell him to stop coming to you with his b.s. and let him know how you feel about him and see where you guys can go from there.

 

If you don't have any interest in him, he honestly seems like a waste of time and energy. And I'm sure you're drained from all his crap. So there is really no reason to prolong the inevitable.

 

Lol whining? Been there and done that honey.

 

But you're right, no need to prolong the inevitable.